A/N: Another silly idea by me. What would happen if Capcom forced the friends and foes of resident evil to live under the same building?! Or worse, be roommates?! DUN DUN DUUUUN! Hosted by yours truly, NaruHinaLuvr (Hina) and PuppyPi3rs4Lif3 (Jess) to make sure Chris and Wesker don't start WWIII since we all know how much they love each other! hmm I'm not sure yet if they should receive fan mail so based on how well this goes I'll include a section for that XD. Also this will be told in three different POVs at the start, Hina, Jess and general. I DONT OWN RESIDENT EVIL I'M JUST USING THE CHARACTERS FOR THIS FANFIC...SO DON'T SUE ME CAPCOM! Without further ado...the House of Resident Evil!

Edit 2/4/16: So i decided to rewrite this chapter. I might come back to this fic. I was rereading it and noticed that yes, my grammar was terrible. So now that ive gotten a bit better at writing i rewrote it and hopefully will be returning to this fic. ^^

Ch1 rewrite

Jess POV:

"IM HOOOOOOOME" I called as I ran inside, kicking the door shut and running towards my room.

"A letter came for you today!" I heard my mom call.

A letter? What the hell I never got any letters. Wonder what this was about…

I went to my room, slamming the door shut and dropping my things on the ground without a care in the world as I spotted the letter on my bed. Hmm.

Opening it, I read its contents, feeling more giddy and excited as I did:

Dear Jess,

We are pleased to inform you that you and one other lucky person have been chosen to care for the cast of the Resident Evil franchise, owned by Capcom. Quite frankly, we got tired of their bitching, so we're sending them off until their differences are resolved.

A taxi will be arriving to pick you up and drop you off at the location. Attached is a list of rules and regulations the cast must follow, as well as some money in order to get anything we may have missed.

Please don't let anyone kill each other.

Or destroy the world.

And PLEASE do not molest them.

Wishing you luck (you'll need it),

The Capcom people.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I felt myself scream as I bounced around my room. I GOT CHOSEN TO MEET THE CAST OF RESIDENT EVIL!

Well I was babysitting them but WHO CARES I GET TO MEET THEM!

My bouncing was short lived as I realized the cab would be here any minute! Grabbing my suitcase, I threw in all of the things I thought I would need. Toiletries, games, clothes, laptop…that sounded about right. Zipping up the bag, I reread the letter, focusing on the part where it said someone else would be joining me.

Hmm. I'm kind of shy, but hopefully we can get along.

Hearing a horn downstairs, I rushed outside, saying bye to my mom and promising to call before throwing my suitcase at the driver, not really noticing it hit him in the face, and hoping in.

Hina POV:

"Letter for you, butt face."

"Unh."

My brother threw the letter in my field of vision, scoffing as I continued to ignore him as I ran for my life from Ustanak, mashing the buttons on my controller.

"Come on come on come on…NO!" I yelled as the "You died" screen popped up. DAMMIT THIS WAS THE 12th TIME IN A ROW!

I heard a meow under me and saw my cat point to the letter that was addressed to me. Tossing the cat aside, I read the letter.

And then reread it.

And then rereread it.

Oh...my...JEBUS! CAPCOM JUST ASKED ME TO MOVE IN WITH THE RESIDENT EVIL STARS! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

...Ok so it said to babysit them and make sure they don't kill each other but I like my take on it better...

Screeching I got up from my spot, turning off my Xbox as I threw together a suitcase, grabbing anything and everything. It didn't say how long we were going to spend there but I wanted to be well prepared! Plus, this was a good opportunity to make a new friend, since the letter said I'd have someone else with me.

As long as she didn't touch Wesker, she could keep all the bones in her body.

As I struggled to sit on and zipper my suitcase, I heard a honking downstairs. DAMMIT! Dragging my suitcase outside with my noodle arms, I shakily lifted it and gave it to the cab driver, ignoring the way he fell down and struggled to breath under all my crap.

Peeking into the taxi, I noticed someone else in there. Oh well, here goes nothing!

General POV:

Hina slid in next to Jess, taking in her features. She had long brown hair with a side fringe parted to the right, ocean blue eyes with a warm chocolate colour in the middle. She seemed a bit shy, but Hina guessed she was nice once you get to know her.

Jess observed Hina shyly, noting that she had long red bangs, emerald green eyes, and a friendly smile.

Breaking the ice, Hina held out her hand and introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Hina! Nice to meet you!"

"I'm Jess! Oh my god I'm so excited I can't believe I got picked for this!" Jess blurted out. Real smooth Jess.

Hina didn't seem to mind, becoming just as excited. "I KNOW RIGHT! I'm so excited I can't wait to meet them!"

The two girls continued talking and getting to know each other until they pulled in front of a mansion. Hina whistled in appreciation. Looks like Capcom really went all out. We stepped out and walked forward, ignoring the cab driver as he struggled with our luggage to follow us. WE WERE SO EXCITED!

That was…until we heard bickering.

"I fucking killed you, Wesker. Why did Capcom send you here too?" We can all guess who that is...muscle head extraordinaire, Chris Redfield.

"I assure you, Chrissssss, that if it were not for Capcom I would refuse to be within 50 feet of the likes of you," Albert Wesker hissed. We squealed in delight when we saw him. That tall hunky blond in sunglasses and leather! Wesker and Chris turned a curious glance our way as we ran up to them and glomped them. Running into them was like running into a brick wall.

"Ohmigod ohmigod!" Hina squealed.

"CHRIS" Jess screamed, squeezing Chris like a teddy bear.

"AND WESKER!" Hina added, drooling over said blond, who huffed in annoyance. We were so excited we almost fainted and pissed ourselves at the same time.

"Captain, me and Jill-woah...need some help?" we froze in our fangirling and turned our heads to the tenor voice behind us. We squealed again seeing Jill Valentine and Piers Nivans holding some bags and guns from the BSAA.

"JILLY BEAN!" Hina said as we got up from Wesker and Chris and gave her a squish. She mumbled her awkward hi before we turned to Piers.

"OH PIERS I MISS YOU WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE WHY WHY WHY?!" Hina basically sobbed and clutched him as he awkwardly stood there.

"PIERS YOU'RE ALIVE! OHMIGOD I FUCKING MISSED YOU! Jess cried as she joined Hina, squeezing the dear life out of him.

"Umm...that was the way Capcom wanted me to go...?" Piers tried to pry us off but to no avail, we're a lot stronger than we look. It wasn't until we saw Jake and Sherry walk up that we let go to tackle Jake.

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME YOU CRAZY BITCH!" Jake yelled as Hina tackled him to the floor. Jess jumped on top of him, causing him to yell again.

"AND YOU GET THE FUCK OFF ME TOO!"

"Yes, she is a rather strange one…" Wesker muttered. Just then Excella came out of nowhere to try and claim her 'man.' Hina glared daggers at her.

"GET OFF HIM HE'S MINE!" she hissed as she pulled Wesker really hard away from her to let them get in each other's faces. Unfortunately, she pulled him harder than she intended and threw him across the parking lot. But he's a superhuman so why bother, right?

"HAHAHA! Dad just got his ass owned by a crazy chick!" Jake laughed obnoxiously, causing Wesker to hiss at him like a cat.

"Shut up child! I could happily take you on myself!" Wesker hissed as he got up. Just then, Finn walked in.

"Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME? FFFFFIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN!" Jess screamed as she grabbed the timid boy into a hug.

"Hi-"

"WHY DID CAPCOM KILL YOU OH GOD WHY?" Jess wailed as she squeezed him harder. Finn, despite being crushed, actually enjoyed the attention for once and hugged her back with a smile on his face.

"AWWW FINN YOU'RE SUCH A CUTIE!" Hina screamed as she hugged him too. Then Hina and Jess could hear a group of men approach.

"ALPHA TEAM!" the two girls screamed as they ran towards the men.

"Oh Andy Capcom are idiots you should have never died!" Jess wailed as she hugged Andy. he chuckled to himself and hugged her back.

"AAANNNDDDDYYYY!" Hina screamed as she hugged him too.

"Heh, guess I'm popular with the girls, eh?" he replied with a grin. The girls let go of him and moved on to the next guy.

"CCCCAAARRRRLLLL!" they screamed as they hugged him too.

"Hey girls, how's it going?" Carl asked, hugging the girls back. Of course he was friendly to the girls because he has three children of his own. So he's the nice guy!

"OHMIGOD OHMIGOD! BBBBBEEEEEENNN!" Hina squealed as she squeezed the life out of him.

"BBBBBEEEEEENNNN!" Jess shouted as she squeezed him too.

"Damn women!" he joked, hugging them back.

"Is that…FUCKING MARCO IT IS YYYAAAAYYY!"

"MARCO? OH YYYYEEEESSSS!" Jess said as she and Hina grabbed him.

"Ow ow take it easy!" he laughed, hugging them back.

"DOUG!" the girls squealed.

"No no no no no no no AW SHIT!" Doug pleaded as he was grabbed the girls.

"Jeff, you're next!" Doug joked as the girls paid their attention to him.

"Shit…" he mumbled as the went after him next.

"JEFF!" they squealed as they squeezed him.

"Keaton, get ready!" Jeff joked as it was Keaton's turn next.

"KEATON!" they shouted as he was squeezed by them.

"REID!" they yelled as they squeezed him too and he hugged back.

"Don't forget Kirk!" Reid said, grinning as Kirk's face fell to one of annoyance.

"KIRK!" The two girls ran to him, and he couldn't help but smile at them.

"But I can't forget Finn and Piers!" Jess shouted as she ran and grabbed Piers.

"Ow, ok ok I'm alive yeah get over it," he mumbled as Hina joined in on the hug.

"Wait for me!" she shouted as she hugged him too. Piers grinned to himself, dropped the bags and put his arms around the girls.

"Finn you're getting another hug!" Jess squealed as she ran to him and squeezed him again. She held onto him, not willing to let go. "You're mine!"

"Thanks, I guess!" he quietly replied.

"HEY! DON'T FORGET ME! He is my cutie and he shall be mine and he shall be my Squishy...I MEAN BABY I MEAN FINN!" Hina nervously shouted at Finn who just smiled nervously in response.

"Looks like me and Helena are late, the party's already started." Came a voice as two figures joined. Hina nearly pissed herself as he eyes grew wider and she shouted all fan-girl like.

"LEON! OHMIGOD OHMIGOD! I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU" She went and tackled Leon as Jess let go of Finn momentarily to join in.

"HI LEON!"

Leon chuckled, trying to pry off the two girls. "I knew I was a ladies man but really?"

"Hell yes you areeeeee." Hina nearly drooled all over him as Jess giggled at her new friend.

"You might want to let him go. I don't want to put a bullet in our new co-hosts." A soft purr came from behind, causing the two girls to jump and look.

"ADA!" The three of them said in unison.

"The one and only, now...if you please let go of him, you're making him uncomfortable...and I don't do hugs." Ada quickly added the last part, seeing the intent in the two girls as they slowly released Leon. Hina pouted but since Ada was kind of scary in person she did as she was told.

"You're nothing but a fake, I'm the REAL Ada Wong!" We all know who that is. Before Leon or Ada could make a smart remark, the two girls came to her defense.

"First of all, you're the fake!" Jess yelled.

"Second of all! You're not as pretty as she is!" Hina yelled.

"But they look the same..." Jess whispered to her.

"I know I couldn't think of a comeback!" Hina hissed.

The two girls continued to pounce on more characters as they arrived, effectively tackling Claire, HUNK, Steve, Barry, Sheva, Luis, Carlos, running from Ustanak and Nemesis, trying to kill Krauser while protecting Finn (even though he didn't want it), while keeping Piers at arm's length, although he was overshadowed by Finn's cuteness.

"Now that you...children have tackled the majority of the Resident Evil Cast," Wesker hissed. "Can we get down to business? Or do I have to be the responsible one around here?"

"Nah, come on, old man, let the girls have their fun, it's not always these chicks can hang with big stars like me." Jake said, smirking smugly at the two girls who were arm and arm linked with Finn. Sherry elbowed him.

"JAKE!" She started, but Piers continued for her.

"That's funny, last time I check they were all over me and Finn."

"Don't forget me." Wesker added grimly.

"Why don't you stay out of this, puppy?" Jake said lowly, taking a threatening step forward.

"Why don't you make me?" Piers asked, closing the distance and glaring up at him.

"Umm...guys?" Finn peeled away from the two girls to try and ease the tension between the two, stepping between them and holding his arms out.

"Get lost, pansy!" Jake said, shoving Finn to the side.

"Don't touch him like that!" Jess yelled tackling Jake and pinning him.

"GET THE FUCK OFF!" Jake yelled, trying to pin Jess, but Hina was on him in an instant, holding him down.

"Umm girls I don't think...woah, captain help!" Piers was cut off when he was pulled into the mess of Jake trying to get away from the overly protective girls.

Chris just shuddered and everyone watched, wincing at the girls who were destroying the two rivals for threatening their beloved Finn. When they were done, they linked arms with Finn again and skipped merrily to the living room to assign everyone rooms. Everyone filled in slowly, sparing sympathetic glances to Piers and Jake who were on the floor groaning in pain.

"Looks like we found the lady's man..." Jake groaned. Piers reluctantly agreed.