He closed his eyes tightly, desperately hoping to somehow escape the haunting image that had been permanently scorched into his memory. He couldn't shake it-couldn't hide from the truth that kept piercing his heart over and over, no matter how numb to it he thought he had become. He had watched her be murdered right in front of his eyes and he had been helpless to stop it.
• • • • •
Like a movie slowed down to a crawl, he watched Rogue's attack launch through the air towards her. He reached out to block the dark shadow magic, but it was no use. He was too late. From behind him, he heard a scream that pierced the air filled with so much pain that he himself felt as if he had been shot. With a look of horror, he turned towards her praying that the sound ringing in his ears and the falling feeling in his chest were wrong. But they weren't.
• • • • •
A look of confusion and shock was twisted onto her face as she realized she couldn't breathe. Her hands traveled from her protective stance over her face to her chest. Nothing. Her fingers found nothing but empty space as her eyes fell to see a gaping hole just under the center of her rib cage.
As she dropped to her knees, her face slowly struggled back up from her body to find him. Her eyes frantically searched for him amidst the blur of people standing across from her. Her vision clouding, she could make out the soft pink halo of spiked hair lunging forward.
She managed a small smile upon finding his face coming into focus, despite the stream of tears that were rushing down hers. She didn't feel them. She didn't feel the warmth of her blood leaving her body or the pound of her heartbeat that had slowed down to an unsettling silence.
• • • • •
He ripped himself from where he stood frozen in place and rushed towards her, seeing her collapse to the floor. Her face rose to meet his, her eyes swirling into hollow shells of where her unending love of life had once shone brighter than her golden hair.
Each instant of time felt like an hour had passed as he tried to make it to her before he lost her. But in his efforts, her saw her face give a knowing smile of what had just happened, and what was about to come to an end.
His heart searing in pain, he saw her teary face struggle to speak. Her lips silently mouthed something he couldn't make out.
And then she was gone.
Her thin frame crumpled to the floor just as he reached her. He released a deafening roar towards the sky, blistering with anguish, and cradled the love of his life in his strong, scarred arms. They weren't strong enough to save her. In all other close calls, he had saved her ass by the skin of his teeth. Why not this time, he pleaded silently.
He sobbed uncontrollably into her shoulder, squeezing her lifeless body to his in the false hopes of preventing any more of her blood from rushing out of her. He was covered in it-as warm as her embrace had once been only a short time before they engaged in battle.
His shaking hands held up the back of her head and neck, refusing to allow her lifeless body to appear as such. You promised you would never leave me. You promised I would never have to be alone again. He had never gotten the chance to tell her how he felt.
For such a fearless, confident dragon slayer he had been powerless when it came to her. She came into his life head first, falling ontop of each other in that street so many years ago. He loved her for not putting up with his bullshit and keeping him in line. He loved her for her love of life and can-do attitude that always made him realize the good things in life and appreciate his guild. His family.
Her laughter and perfect grin was just as beautiful as her raging episodes of beating him up for something stupid he had done or said. All those jokes at her behalf. All the time he teased her because he couldn't bring himself to be honest and then face her rejecting him. He would give up his life for hers, just to save her now.
All of the pain and suffering he had both caused and endured in his past would be well worth it to live over again in eternity just to know she was safe. He just wanted to protect her. To tell her he loved her.
And in her final moments, she spoke to him something that he will never know. His love's last wish to him. He let out another pain-driven roar as he realized he will never hear voice or what she was trying to tell him again.
• • • • •
Her world went dark. She could hear the muffled cries of her guildmates somewhere far away, as if through a wall. She began to float through the darkness on an invisible current, surrounded by the embrace of nothingness. It was almost comforting, but she longed for a different kind of embrace as she left her world.
Suddenly, the burning warmth of his body scooped her up out of the river of blackness and burned all the pain away. Internally, she smiled. Her last wish had been granted, knowing she would die in the dragon slayer's arms. Her dragon slayer.
She had known since that day in the square that she was meant to be by his side forever, even if she didn't admit it to herself back then. His goofy charisma and love of adventure is what drew her to join the guild in the first place.
She had always watched him fight with excitement and adoration. He never felt more alive than when he was standing up for what he believed in. She would miss his laughter the most, and the way it lovingly shone through when he'd say her name.
She always had known his true feelings, even if he had never confirmed them himself. She knew his boyish pride would never let him. Her intention had always been to confront him about it, letting him know he wasn't alone in feeling that way. She just never had gotten the chance.
Maybe it was better that way. She hoped he would be able to move on easier without truly knowing how she felt about him. She cared about his well being more than her own. Even still, as his eyes had met hers for the last time, she could see all the things he never said in the pain and love that was burning in them.
She knew that he loved her. She knew his eyes were screaming it to the heavens hoping she would know what he could never say. And she did. Which is why with her dying breath, Lucy whispered "Me too, Natsu."