Author's Note: So, this random one-shot occurred to me whilst I was re-reading the first few 'Naruto' chapters. I was admiring the Ninja Centrefold when this thought came to me: "Other than the fact of defeating villains in humorous ways, why did Naruto invent the 'Ninja Centrefold'?" And so I interpreted it in my own way for a small little one-shot. It's not one I'd usually do (usually meaning 'SasuNaru') so I don't know how my usual viewers will take to it. Oh well, enjoy!

Warnings: Slight angst and swearing; this might also feel a little like an AU (because Naruto can produce a good shadow clone and Sasuke's family is still alive and awesome!) Oh, and a bad plot/writing ^^; Basically, rthis is pointless and a really bad piece of writing :P I just thought I'd share XD

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns all Naruto characters. I am making no profit from this story.

Family Portraits

"Alright everybody, I want you all to draw a picture of your family!" the cheery voice of the substitute primary school teacher rang out, exciting all of the younger pupils. All but one, that is. Uzumaki Naruto stared down at the blank piece of paper in front of him, hurt twinging in his heart as he thought of his family. The teacher walked past him, snorting as she did so. She knew that he didn't have a family, but she wanted to make him suffer- he was a demon fox after all. He grabbed the pencil beside him and placed it on the blank piece of paper before him, thinking of what to draw. He didn't have any immediate family, but the third Hokage was practically his grandfather, and so he decided to start to draw him. Genetics didn't mean anything; it was just bonds. A boy looked over the shoulder of the blond and snorted.

"Moron, he isn't your family! You can't draw him!" He harshly told the blond. Cerulean blue eyes widened as the piece of paper was taken from underneath him by the teacher and he looked up to see her tutting with disappointment.

"Sora's right, Naruto. You can't draw this person, it's practically anarchy!" she told him with a mock sympathetic voice as she tore the piece of paper in two before the blond's eyes, ignoring the way they became watery. He hung his head as the teacher walked towards the bin, placing the two pieces of paper in it and sitting behind the desk. To his right sat another boy, who was eagerly scribbling away; a raven with duck-butt hair was enthusiastically drawing four people- one of them obviously himself- a woman, a man and an older boy, all with raven hair. The raven felt the stare upon him and looked up to be met with downcast cerulean blue eyes. He huffed slightly and turned away from the boy with no family.

"Dobe," he muttered silently, ignoring the way the blond retreated with a hurt look in his eye. Eventually, the teacher called for quiet and the children hushed up, the excitement still a light buzz in the air. The teacher smiled once more, looking around at the smiling faces.

"All right, when I call your name, I want you to come up, show us your picture and tell the class about your family," she stated with an enthusiastic voice. She called the pupils up, one by one and each time, the blond had to listen to each pupil talk either: shyly, enthusiastically or proudly about their family. As it neared Naruto's turn, he watched with a slight tinge of jealousy as Uchiha Sasuke went on and on about how his big brother was the best, how his mother was the kindest, and how his father was stern, yet one of the bravest people he knew. Everybody clapped the Uchiha as he beamed at the class, and sat down next to the blond boy.

"Uzumaki Naruto," the teacher called in a cold voice. The blond met her eyes with a glare, and the children could be heard whispering about him.

"Come on up, Naruto," she told the blond, who remained seated.

"No," he refused. He wasn't going to be humiliated this time- he wasn't going to stand at the front just to tell everybody he had no parents or family. The teacher narrowed her eyes at the boy, barely withholding a sneer or growl.

"If you don't get up here, I'll have to send you to the principal!" she stated crossly, hoping that it would make the boy move. The small blond felt the stares on his person and he growled lightly, anger consuming him.

"Why should I go up to the front? I don't have any family! Is that what you want to hear, you sick whore?!" the blond yelled, tears stinging at his eyes as he heard the laughs. There was a small intake of breath from the raven next to him and he clenched his fists on the desk.

"ALL OF YOU, SHUT UP!" He screamed, earning harder laughs whilst the teacher just turned red from embarrassment and anger.

"Uzumaki Naruto, go to the principal's office NOW!" she yelled at the small child, who pushed his chair away from his desk with such force, it created a dent in the desk behind.

"NO! I'm going home!" he yelled, grabbing his things as he stormed past the quiet raven and towards the door when the teacher grabbed his hair.

"You little brat! I'm dragging you to the principal's office if it kills me!" she screamed in anger, before a small foot cracked her shin, and she let go, cursing after the blond that was running as fast as he could. Naruto made his way down the streets, towards his apartment that was kept up and running by the third Hokage. He sniffed slightly, ignoring the fact there were tears in his eyes.

'I'm never going back there AGAIN!' he mentally decided, as he pushed his way through his front door, slamming it shut and panting, leaning against it. He puffed out his small breaths before the gravity of the words and actions in his class caught up with him and he was holding in his sniffles.

'All I want is a parent,' he thought to himself sadly, as he padded into his kitchen and placed his bag down on the floor. He climbed onto his kitchen chair and placed his head on his arms, tears clinging at his lashes, unwilling to fall as he thought of the family he didn't have, when suddenly, an idea came to his mind. He frowned, wiping away the wetness, running into his bedroom to pick up a pencil and a piece of paper. As he sat at the kitchen table, his mind wondered into overdrive. She would be blonde, like him, and possibly have the same whisker-like markings on her cheeks. Then there were the breath-taking blue eyes. He didn't want her to be too skinny, but he wanted her to have the looks of a model. She would be tall too, and hold her long blonde hair in pigtails. Eventually, he looked at his little drawing and smiled, clapping his hands together as he pulled the hand-sign for the art of the doppelganger. He concentrated hard- it was for a clear purpose, so he had to do it right. There was a small popping noise and he looked to his left, surprised to see a perfect double. He beamed a grin at the boy, and the other grinned back.

"Okay, you know what to do!" he told the doppelganger, who nodded in return, placing his hands together to perform the ultimate jutsu that would- though Naruto didn't know at the time- become one of the greatest trademarks of his ninja career. Naruto looked back to his doppelganger, a small smile overtaking his features when it was replaced with a tall, blonde woman with long hair, breath-taking blue eyes and whisker-like markings on her cheeks. She was thin- but not too thin- a light blue flannel dress covering her body. She smiled down at the boy and scooped him up.

"Hey there son, would you like some ramen?" she asked enthusiastically. Naruto beamed, happiness swelling in his heart at the sound of him being called her son.

"Yes please, mum," he replied with a bright smile of his own. The woman placed the blond back onto the floor and made her way into the kitchen, pulling out various pots and pans, as well as some noodles and fresh vegetables that Naruto was sure the third Hokage had placed in his fridge. He sat at the table as the woman whisked around the kitchen, pulling together something the young child could only describe as 'scrumptious'. No sooner than half an hour later, a dish was placed in front of the blond and the woman ruffled his hair, beaming down at the blond child.

"I love you, Naruto," she told the boy, kissing him on the head. Naruto smiled and hugged the woman around the middle.

"I love you too, mama," he replied. The blonde woman watched as Naruto continued to eat the ramen on which he so eagerly complimented her. Once he had finished, he yawned, rubbing his eyes. She smiled gently, picking him up and allowing him to bury his head into her shoulder.

"You've used up too much chakra, Naru," she whispered, placing the blond on the bed. Naruto frowned, pulling her closer.

"I love you, mummy," he whispered. The woman smiled down at him, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead as he snuffled down into his blankets.

"I love you too, Naruto. Now go to sleep, okay?" she whispered, earning an approving nod from the boy in the bed. As the boy fell asleep, he didn't hear the pop as the clone disappeared, but there was a content smile on his face as he slept on, dreams free of any nightmares. Just dreams of his family. It didn't matter about blood- just bonds.

When he awoke the next morning, his head was spinning and he felt dizzy- the side effects of using too much chakra. He slowly trudged into the kitchen to see that there was still some spare ramen from the night before in the fridge. He smiled slightly as he consumed the meal, the delicious taste still there. As he placed his dish in the sink, he thought back on the night before and how… nice… it had felt to have a woman to call 'mum', 'mama' or 'mummy'. He envied the other children and their parents, but he could do nothing- he didn't have parents, but he could live without them- he just needed some attention, that's all. He smiled to himself as the thought of the fact that they had a new teacher today entered his mind. No matter what, he'd get this teacher to recognise him, respect him, and ultimately, receive his attention. The small smile grew to a grin as he thought of all the possibilities. The blond slipped into his normal attire- something orange- and grabbed his backpack before leaving for school. He didn't care about the stares he received as he made his way down the street- if anyone teased him for not having a family today, he didn't care, as he'd go home and easily conjure up his own. With the small, positive thought in the back of his mind, Naruto set off quicker to school, eager for the day ahead.

There we go something small and nice. The original thought was a tad more angsty, but I decided that, well, it shouldn't be angsty, because this is Naruto we're talking about! He was strong during his childhood! Moreover, the fact a lot of my writing has been angsty recently so y'know, something different!

Reviews will be snuggled and baked into a cake :3