A/N: Yo! I wrote this when I was feeling kind of depressed, so it's kind of darkish... Meh, I'm not going to explain it. Read if you wanna, don't if you don't. This is Yaoi, don't like don't read. I warn you about angst, depression, cutting, language. I don't own Bleach, we all know. That makes me sad... Story!

"Ichigo, are you home?" Szayel Aporro Granz opened the apartment door and stepped inside. Starrk Coyote, Ulquiorra Cifer, and Grimmjow Jeagerjaques followed behind him silently.

"Wait here," the pink haired male instructed, "Ichigo doesn't like people going in his room." He walked down the hallway and to the orangette's bedroom door, grasping the door handle lightly.

"I'm coming in, Ichi." He pushed the bedroom door open, stepping into the immaculate room. Not a thing was out of place, so Szayel immediately noticed the composition book lying on Ichigo's desk. Making his way over to the desk, Szayel noticed a note on top of the book. He picked it up, immediately recognizing Ichigo's beautiful, flowing handwriting.

Sazyel,

I know that you will be the one to find this, you would not let anyone else enter my lair. By the time you find this, I will be gone. My notebook will tell you everything you will want to know. It's time to say goodbye, old friend.

With all that I have left,

Ichigo

A sense of dread settled in Szayel's stomach as he read the note. Ichigo didn't leave, nothing was missing from his apartment. He snatched the notebook from the desk and ran from the room.

"Starrk, call an ambulance," the pink haired male yelled as he ran past the living room. He slammed into the bathroom door, nearly taking it off of its hinges. He wasn't prepared for the sight that met him.

Ichigo was slumped over the sink. His wrists were bleeding profusely, the blood pouring down the drain. Szayel launched into action, pulling bandages out of the cabinets. The rest of the group stood in the doorway, shock painting their features.

"Damn it, I miscalculated."

Szayel nearly jumped ten feet in the air when he heard the rough voice. "Ichigo, you idiot! Why would you do this to yourself," he cried as he wrapped the other man's wrists.

"Didn't you read my note," Ichigo whispered before slipping into unconsciousness.

Szayel stood shakily and picked up the notebook he had dropped in his earlier panic. He noticed Ulquiorra holding the note, the other two reading it over the raven's shoulder. Grimmjow clenched his fists, collapsing into a nearby chair. Starrk laid a comforting hand in his shoulder, though he felt a similar pain.

"This isn't your fault," Ulquiorra spoke quietly, his normal monotone voice replaced with a sad tone.

Grimmjow's shoulders lost some of their tension, but he showed no other signs of having heard.

The paramedics arrived to take the orange-haired male to the hospital. After they left, Szayel sighed and sank onto the couch. He pulled the notebook into his lap and flipped open the cover. They wouldn't be able to see Ichigo today.

"Read it out loud," Grimmjow grunted.

Szayel glanced at his friend and nodded, waiting for the other two to settle in before he began to read.

September 10, 2010

I met someone today. We met at Las Noches, the new club in town. Maybe he can help me to finally get over that bastard Kaien. I just hope he isn't looking for a one night stand like the others I met. I'm so tired of being treated like trash. Maybe Grimmjow will be different, but then again, maybe he will be the same. I suppose I'll have to be careful.

"Who the hell is Kaien," Starrk asked. He had never heard of the guy.

"I don't know. Maybe the next entry will give us a clue," Szayel sighed, flipping to the next page.

September 12, 2010

Kaien has been calling me non stop. It scares me to be perfectly honest. He threatened to kill me if I ever left him, but I didn't heed the warning. I answered him once by accident. I thought it was Grimmjow, he promised that he would call me today. Kaien told me he wanted me back, but I can't go back to him, to the constant beatings. I told him that and he got angry. He said he would find me and kill me, and this time, I believe him.

"Wait, I think I remember some bastard named Kaien," Grimmjow growled.

"Keep reading," Ulquiorra commanded.

September 15, 2010

I don't think I need to worry about Kaien anymore. He hasn't found me yet, and I don't think he will. I can finally go out with Grimmjow without constantly looking over my shoulder. I can finally move on. I'm going out with him tonight, but I can't be sure if I can call it a date. He hasn't said anything to suggest that, so I guess it's just a friendly thing. I don't even know if he's gay. I guess it doesn't matter, he gets my mind off of Kaienand that's all I asked for.

"He never showed up that night," Grimmjow breathed.

Szayel's eyebrows pulled into a frown as he read the next entry.

September 19, 2010

I was released from the hospital today. Kaien nearly killed me. I hope Grimmjow isn't mad at me, I really need him right now. He's all I have left, even my friends have left me now. I don't think I could stand it if I lost him, too. I need to call him, but I'm scared. Whoever is up there listening, I've been through enough shit, please don't make it worse.

"Shit, is that what happened? He told me it was some gang," Grimmjow groaned.

"You knew about this," Starrk asked.

"Yeah, it was before you met him."

"Well what are you waiting for, tell us," Szayel demanded, annoyance surfacing at his lack of knowledge.

Grimmjow was angry. His date skipped out on him a few nights before, and he still hadn't heard from the kid, not even an apology.

"No one makes me look like a fool," he growled as he stormed up to the orangette's apartment.

"Oi, Kurosaki," he yelled as he pounded on the door. He crossed his arms and growled, the kid was taking too long. He heard the latch on the door unlock and took a step back. The door opened, just a crack, and one amber eye peeked out.

"Grimmjow," Ichigo whispered, letting the door swing open as he backed away from the doorway.

Grimmjow stomped in and slammed the door before rounding on the smaller male. What he saw made him stop and his blood ran cold.

Ichigo's forehead, arms, and torso were completely covered in bandages. His face was littered with bruises and cuts and there was a large, hand-shaped bruise on his neck.

"I'm sorry, Grimmjow. I was on my way, but-"

He didn't get to finish his sentence. Grimmjow pulled the smaller male close to his chest and wrapped his arms around him. Ichigo tensed for a moment, but quickly relaxed in the other's warm embrace.

I'm just glad yer okay. What happened to ya," Grimmjow asked quietly.

Ichigo hesitated for a minute. "A gang. They always pick on me because of my hair, you know. I was about to call you. I just got out of the hospital today."

Grimmjow just nodded and tightened his arms around the smaller body.

"I'll protect you from now on."

"- and that's what happened," Grimmjow finished his story. He leaned back and ran a large hand through his blue hair.

"Keep reading," Starrk requested sadly. The more they read, the worse they felt.

September 20, 2010

I hate lying to him, but I really don't want to drag Grimmjow into trouble. I'm sure he has his own problems to deal with. He told me that he would protect me, but he can't. He doesn't know the real enemy. Rukia is supposed to come by today. She heard about what Kaien did and she wanted to come check on me. It will be the first contact I've had with one of my friends since I left Karakura. I miss the. Maybe my life is getting better after all of the bad things. I hope so.

"I remember Ichigo talking about her," Szayel said thoughtfully.

Starrk yawned loudly. "I think we need to call it a night," he said as he stretched out on the couch.

Grimmjow stood and nodded his agreement, stretching. His back let out a satisfying pop and he sighed, walking towards the hallway.

"Where are you going," Ulquiorra asked in his normal monotonous voice.

"To Ichi's room. I won't be able to sleep in here," Grimmjow answered before he closed the bedroom door.

A/N: Well there we go! Just so everyone knows, I'm going to write a companion fic for this on called making memories. It will give you Grimm and Ichi's story as it is happening, so be on the lookout! Let me know what you think, please review!