A/N: The characters used in this story, as well as a few of their quotes, belong to Disney, but the words and storyline are my own. I have made no profit from them whatsoever, except (hopefully) satisfaction in a job well done and perhaps constructive criticism from my peers and fellow writers.
"Be honest, Shego. Do you really think I'm evil?" The blue-tinted villain paced up and down the timeshare lair.
"Yes, Drakken." his bored, green-skinned sidekick answered him tiredly. "You scare small children. You send shivers down the spines of heroes everywhere. You walk on freshly planted lawn when the sign says not to. For the last time, you are evil."
"Shego, was that sarcasm?"
"Nooooo."
"Good. Now, with my evil muse restored to its former glory…" Shego snorted, but Drakken ignored her. "I shall use my… er… Giant Climate Creator to take over the world!" He laughed evilly as he pulled a sheet, revealing a shoddily constructed doomsday device.
"'Giant Climate Creator'? Is that that the sidekick's Mega-Weather Generator fixed with duct tape?"
"Um, no."
"It is!"
"Don't be silly! My invention is fully of my own design! And it will work much better than that buffoon's device!" To prove his point, he yanked the lever on the machine's control panel down energetically.
Snap! The piece broke off into his hand.
He stared at the metal rod that lay in his palm as the machine began to sputter and emit smoke. "Oh, fiddlesticks."
Shego sighed and sprinted out of the lair, dragging the supervillain behind her as he grabbed a metal tube, just in time to escape the explosion. Darting behind a conveniently placed boulder, the two evildoers were shielded from the oncoming shards of machinery shooting around them.
"Ooh, yeah." Shego said sarcastically once they were clear of the flying debris. "Worked much better."
"Shego, don't be lippy! At least I managed to salvage the most important thing in the lair."
She stared at the cylinder as Drakken unscrewed the top and poured the steaming contents into the attached container. "No. No, no, no. You didn't bring the-"
"Cocoa moo!" said the evil doctor as he held out the cup. "Want some?"
"You are not starting that again!" Shego flared up her plasma.
"But, Shego, cocoa moo is so delicious!" He took a sip and hummed with contentment. "Mmm, that's good-"
With a blast or two of green flame, Drakken never got to finish his sentence.
"No, Shego!" A yelp. "Sorry! I promise, no more cocoa-"
"Not- say- cocoa moo!"
Drakken knew he shouldn't. He knew he would regret it. He knew it was an all-around bad idea.
He couldn't resist. "Cocoa moo!"
"Aaargh!"