Hey. I decided to write a parody of the amazing, wonderful, broadway show- Rent. Most of you probably never saw it, or even heard of it. But just read it, its understandable (hopefully). Eh. If your looking fer something good to read- check out The Love of a Father by Megaelie Green and That 70s Hogwarts by Audrey Flaymes.
I do not own anything having to do with Harry Potter that the wonderful J.K. Rowlings wrote about. I do not own anything either by the awesome Jonathan Larson who created Rent. So please don't sue, unless you want my old old polly pockets and Barbie dolls, a few cds, and some games. I'm keeping the computer. The characters in here are from the older generation in Harry Potter. Some might be gay and issued with AIDS, since Rent's plot is based on that. Yes, it's a musical. A few characters are made up by moi.
So on and on. Eh. Might be a little lame looking, but enjoy! Italic shows that they're singing. Sing along!!! Even if you never saw the show! Its currently their. 5th year. And will go up to their 7th year.. Time goes in this play.
Truthfully. I am really messed up. Don't mind the author's note I put in the Review Section. I changed the plot of the story kind of so that James and Sirius both are kind of like Roger. Sirius is the guitar guy. But James is the camera guy, but is in love with the character who resembles Mimi. (you all should know who that is) so, I welcome comments on how its really messed up. Enjoy my whole new thingie. J
James Potter sighed looking straight into his camera. They were in the Gryffindor common room. It was basically empty except for James who was trying to work his guitar.
"We begin on Christmas Eve with me, James and Sirius. We live in a castle called Hogwarts, in a mysterious wizard world. Old portraits hang on the walls. Hogwarts is abandoned right now. Everyone went home." James turned the camera to Sirius. "Smile!"
James then turned it back onto himself and started to sing.
"December 24th, Six pm.
Eastern Standard Time
From here on in
I shoot without a script.
See if anything comes of it
Instead of my old shit
First shot Sirius
Tuning the fender guitar
He hasn't played in a year.
Sirius looked at the camera,
"This won't tune."
James muttered while singing.
"So we hear
He's just coming back
From a year of sadness."
Sirius blinked at him.
"Are you talking to me?"
James nodded.
"Not at all
Are you ready? Hold that focus Steady
Tell the folks at home what you're doing Sirius."
Sirius grinned into the camera,
"I'm writing one great song!"
Somehow, an owl flew in. The tiny owl dropped a letter and a small package onto James's head.
"Ow. You stupid owl." He opened up the letter and read it outloud.
"We wanted to write to you and say that we love you
And we'll miss you tomorrow.
Cindy and the kids are here- send their love
Oh I hope you like the hot plate
Just don't leave it on dear
When you leave the room.
Oh and James
We're sorry to hear that Lizzie dumped you
I say C'est La Vie
So let her be a Lesbian
There are other fishies in the sea.
…Love Mom."
James sighed again
"Tell the folks at home what you're doing Sirius.."
Sirius looked at him annoyed,
"I'm writing one great song!"
A loud knock was heard in the common room.
"Chestnuts Roasting."
Sirius and James looked at each other. "Lupin!" They both exclaimed.
"I'm outside." Lupin yelled.
"Hey!" James yelled back.
"Give the password."
Sirius opened the Fat Lady's portrait. "What are you doing here?"
"I may be detained" Remus replied.
James had finally put down his camera and the three headed down to the Great Hall which was pretty empty considering everyone went home. A few other students were there. Lily Evans, Severus Snape, and about six or seven more people.
"Ho ho ho." Severus Snape laughed looking at the three.
James and Sirius gasped, "Snape. Shit."
"Dudes, I'm here today!" Severus grinned.
"Great! Fuck!"
"I need the money."
"What money?" Sirius growled at him.
"Our little bet?" Severus sneered, "Which I let slide for two months already."
"Let slide? You said we were Golden." James glared.
"When we first made the bet." He rolled his eyes.
"When we were friends."
"How could I forget?
You, me, Lupin, and Lizzie.
How is the Drama queen?"
"She's peforming tonight."
"I know she is." Severus sneered. "Still helping her with her voice?"
"Two days ago I was bumped."
"You still dating her?"
"Last month I was dumped."
"She's in love." Sirius interrupted.
"She's got a new man?" Severus had a smug reaction.
"Well. No." Sirius replied.
"What's his name?"
"Olivia." James and Sirius muttered.
"Money. My amigos. Is due.
Or I shall have to hurt you." Severus smirked and went to sit at the Slytherin table.
The leftover students started scurrying across the Great Hall, looking for a place to sit, except for James and Sirius who froze in amazement.
James started to sing quietly,
"How do you document real life
When real life's getting more
Like Fiction each day.
Headlines- Breadlines
Blow my mind
And now this deadline's
Hurtful or pay.
Issues."
Sirius looked at James and started to sing,
"How do you write a song
When the chords sound wrong
Though they once sounded right and rare
When the notes are sour
Where's the power
You once had to ignite the air."
"And we're broke and lost." James responded.
"Some life we chosen."
The two sighed.
"How we gunna solve?
How we gunna solve?
How we gunna solve?
All our Issues?
"We light candles." James sang.
Sirius shook his head at James,
"How do you start a fire
When there's nothing to burn
And it feels like something's stuck in your flue."
James poked at his dinner.
"How can you generate heat
When you can't feel your feet."
Sirius sang with him.
"And they're turning blue."
"You light up a mean blaze." James yelled.
"With Posters."
"And Screenplays!"
They both sang in rhythm.
"How we gunna solve?
How we gunna solve?
How we gunna solve?
All our Issues?
Olivia Patterson sat on the other side of the Great Hall sitting across from Lizzie Scoresby.
"Did you eat?
Don't change the subject, Lizzie.
But darling, you haven't eaten all day!
You won't throw up
You won't throw up
You're not going to James!" She gripped onto her wand.
Lupin sat down next to Sirius.
"How do you stay on your feet
When in every corridor
It's trick or treat'
And tonight its trick.
'Welcome back to Hogwarts
I should lie down
Everything's brown
And uh-oh
I feel sick."
Sirius and James sighed.
"How we gunna solve?
How we gunna solve?
How we gunna solve?
All our Issues?
James held up a book that was stuck in his pocket.
"The music ignites the night with passionate fire."
"Lizzie, I'm not a theatre person." Olivia cried to her.
Sirius interrupted.
"The narration crackles and pops with incendiary wit."
"Could never be a theatre person." Olivia cried again.
James and a few of the students stuck at Hogwarts sang together,
"How do you leave the past behind
When it keeps finding ways to get to
Your heart
It reaches way down deep and tears
You inside out
Til' your torn apart
Issues."
Sirius and the rest of the students sang afterwards,
"How can you connect in an age
Where wizards, muggles, lovers
Your own blood cells betray."
Every student in the Great Hall stood up.
"What binds the fabric together
When the raging, shifting winds of change
Keep ripping away."
"We're not gunna solve." James and Sirius yelled.
"We're not gunna solve." The two and half of the students yelled.
"We're not gunna solve." The two and the other half of the students yelled.
They all sang.
"Last year's Issues.
This year's Issues.
Next year's Issues.
Issue Issue Issue Issue Issue
We're not going to solve Issues
James and Sirius sat back down.
".. 'cause everything is Issues."
The students sat back down like nothing ever happened, continuing to chatter about Christmas.
And that's it for the first chapter. Second'll be up tomorrow or Monday. Depends if I get reviews. REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW…lmao. One more time. I like that word. REVIEW!
REVIEW!