Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, Jason Bourne, or My Immortal
A/N: This fan-fiction is a parody of My Immortal, the worst fan-fiction ever written. (For further notice, read My Immortal otherwise, you may not get this.) Enjoy! :)
It was a dark and stormy night. Lightning illuminated a large factory and its surroundings. A man could be seen crouching behind a hedge. His name was Jason Bourne and he was a CIA assassin. His target lay within the walls of the factory. Quickly and quietly, he entered. There were several machines in the factory. The walls had posters of MCR and Gerard Way.
He could see the hostages he had come to rescue had been transformed already. Harry Potter, Ron Weasely, Hermione Granger, and Draco Malfoy were now 'goffik' looking thanks to the machine. It took innocent happy people and turned them into whatever the Gothic Mary Sue wanted.
He needed to disarm the machines and reverse the effects of them. He turned and saw he was not alone. There were hundreds of girls behind him. They all looked alike. They had black hair, pale skin, and wore fishnet stockings, combat boots, and other slutty clothes. They were clones of the real Mary Sue. They advanced and he knew he was surrounded. "EBONY……….EBONY…….EBONY" they all said. This was it…… he was a goner. He tried to fight but there were too many.
Suddenly there was a sound like someone crashing through a glass window. It was J.K.Rowling. The Sues began to panic. Some cried tears of blood while others ran in circles sexily/pointlessly. Bourne and J.K. Rowling began to fight all the clones. Once all were dead, the real Sue appeared. "Oh my Satan!" exclaimed Ebony Dark 'ness Dementia Raven Way.
Bourne stepped forward but Rowling stopped him. "Let me" she said. J.K. Rowling brandished a self correcting spelling/grammar quill. Moving with lightning speed, she stabbed the Sue. "You can't kill me, I'm goffik." But, she died anyways. ) All the Canon characters were released from the Gooffik spell and all was well.