A/N: *Disclaimer : I do not own any rights to Kung Fu Panda or Legends of Awesomeness. All rights belong to their respective parties. This is just for fun.*
To make a distinction of who's talking, Sooth's dialog will always be in bold type. Every other character will always be in regular type.
Chapter 1- Therapy with Po
Sooth's Notes: Day 1 – Today is my first day on the job. I'm supposed to see the Panda today. I can't imagine what issues he has, I thought he solved his little "who am I" problem after talking to me. Oh well, maybe something else is on his mind? We shall see…I feel as though I've said that before. Well, on to work!
"So what can I do for you Po?"
"Um, so how does this work? Do you want me to like, start from my troubled childhood?"
"Did you have a troubled childhood?"
"Well, no not really."
"Then don't start there. Why don't you tell me about what's bothering you now."
"Alright. Well it all started after I defeated Shen. I was doing fine, I found out who I was, I didn't die, I came home and made noodles with my Dad. But then I found out about…that TV series."
"And what TV series is that?"
"You know, that Legends of Awesomeness thing. I mean, come on! What's that about? Didn't I have enough problems in the second movie?"
"What is it specifically about this show that is bothering you?"
"How about everything? They make me look like a lazy idiot who's a jerk to his friends and doesn't take anything seriously. How un-awesome is that? That's what it should be called: Legends of Un-awesomeness. And the guy doesn't even look like me! At least, I hope I don't look like that…he kinda looks like his face has been smashed in or something."
"And how does all of that make you feel?"
"Wait, I'm not done. I would never hit on Tigress either. I mean, who thought of that? We're not even the same species! It's kinda sickening when you think about it…"
"So it makes you feel ill? Does it make you feel any other way?"
"Icky…is 'icky' different from 'ill'? And why would I ever draw a heart, give it to someone and say that it was my butt? That's just so wrong, it doesn't make any sense!"
"And have you tried to do anything about how you feel?"
"I've been trying to inner peace it away, but I can't."
"I thought you already mastered that inner peace thing?"
"Hey, flaming cannon-balls flying at ya is one thing. Having to deal with that show is a whole other issue. It's really starting to depress me. Hey does any of this mean I'm deeply disturbed? Troubled? Slightly unhinged?"
"Not particularly…and those all mean the same thing."
"Oh. What about eating my Dad's imported bamboo furniture?"
"I'd say not."
"What about my dream that a radish started doing Kung Fu and beat me up?"
"Perhaps you are a little disturbed…"
"Whoa, really?"
"Is there anything else bothering you?"
"Can you help me with me stealth mode problem?"
"No. Anything else?"
"Well, I have this thought that if Tai Lung is now just a bunch of energy particles floating around everywhere that he's spread all over the Valley and we're all just walking on him everywhere we step. I mean, is that not kinda freaking anyone else out?"
"Ok, we're done."
"Wait! I haven't told you about my reoccurring dream that a dumpling is eating me."
"No, we're done…"
Sooth's Notes: End of Day 1- Well that was…interesting. This Panda has more issues than I thought. I should probably refrain from telling anyone that I was kicked out of my therapy class for trying to taste everyone's clothes. And that my degree may have came from a giant fortune cookie…Hmmm, this therapist thing might be harder than I thought.
Final Analysis: Very troubled regarding his TV self. Also seems to have chronic tendency to dream about food annihilating him. Perhaps this indicates a deep-seeded wish for the TV him to meet with a killer food and therefore an untimely end. Or maybe he just has heart-burn…May be prone to hostility towards radishes
Suggested Treatment: Eat less dangerous foods. Try to avoid contact with TV self. No food after eight…and some herbal tea.
A/N: Now don't go on a rampage and kill me, all you LOA fans. This is just for fun. It's true I'm not a huge fan of the show myself, but if you are that's great. This story is just from the thought of what the real KFP characters think of their LOA counterparts, as well as other issues they have.
Anyway, I hope you all will enjoy this. Humor isn't my strong point so if it's bad you can tell me, but be nice about it. XD
*A special shout out to FyreDragon5. Thank you so much for you encouragement and support. Your friendship means the world to me.
*Also to another fanfiction author –who wishes to remain anonyms- thank you also for your support and patience, you've been great.