Be My Last

By: Chibi-Ra-Chan

Rating: M

Pairing: Ren/Anna

Songs to have of repeat while listening: Be My Last by Utada Hikaru, and White houses by Vanessa Carlton.

Disclaimer: I do not own anything even remotely related to Mankin...Damn.

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Mother why is it that we always seem to ruin those things that we value most?

When he was younger he did not understand the significance of the question, but now, well; now it was something that he wished he could remember the answer to. Why hadn't he listened to her answer? Now it could very well be the single most important question that life had faced his with so far.

She slept on the other side of the bed, her pale form shivering in the cold. The sad excuse for a sheet that hung discarded around her bare waist shone a bright pure white that was easy to see in the late hours of the night. He made no attempt to cover her up again.

It was his fault she felt the iciness.

The carefully carved mask that she held around herself had shattered. Fallen right through her fingers into pieces on the floor next to her discarded garments. She had moment of weakness and he took advantage of it.

Sweet words and a semi-true promise of peace was all it took to make her mold into is hands. It was something he desired for so very long, and now that he had it, he could not wash the bitter taste of regret from his lips. The regret he took from her, now bruised lips, cold and trembling.

This love was a mistake.

At least he thought it was.

He pushed aside the stupid feeling of regret and smirked to himself. Regret was for the weak, why should he really care if she would regret it later on? He told himself that he would not, but within the dark depths of his mind, he knew that it mattered.

It mattered a lot.

Looking at her, unprotected, weak, helpless suddenly sickened him.She was tainted now, forever painted with the hue's of crimson anger, indigo desire and mango deception. And it was all his fault. He was the one who did this to her. While he was so caught up in his own foolish wants that he failed to see that it was his very own hands that had harmed her.

With those same hands he tried to reconstruct the mask that he had destroyed but no matter how many sorrys he whispered and how many promises he pleaded, it was not enough. This could not be fixed.

Suddenly he had the desire to try to redeem himself to her. Strong arms shook her small frame. Her eyelids fluttered like butterfly wings and opened. things where clouded for a moment, but soon she could see straight and she looked away. Ashamed.

This did not go unnoticed him though, He tipped her chin up, making her amber eyes meet his gold ones. Hers filled with fear, regret and self hatred, While his where over flowing with strange emotions

"I meant what I said!" He yelled much to loud for this ungodly hour. She blinked confused, but he continued shaking her. Tears swelled in the corners of her eyes. "Stop, Stop it! Ren stop it!"

He ignored her.

"Everything I said! All of it! I meant every word! Please believe me!" In his mind the fear in her eyes meant that she doubted him. Heart and mind clashed as his brain told him to stop acting foolish that whether or not she believed his was her problem. While his heart fueled the frenzy he was on. He need her to believe him, He had not a clue why, but he did.

And those tears where not tears of joy.

He stopped shaking her and held the back of her head in his hands. With a tenderness he did not show earlier, he kissed away the tears.

"What are you-"

"I swear I meant it Anna, I did." He looked straight into her eyes and she knew what he meant.

Sweat dripped down her brow. This was not what she pictured her first time being like.

It happened so fast, she just ended things between Yoh and her and already she was sleeping with his friend. What kind of person was she? She was not easy like this though. But still...

The warmth that radiated from him was comforting and enticing at the same time. She found herself unable to leave.

He looked down at her with those beautiful golden eyes and it was about all she could take. She felt her stomach flutter around and lightheartedness soon followed. Why did it only take one glance from him to do this to her?

She held his gaze and knew what was coming. She turned her head away in shame. Shame at herself.

A hot breathe tickled her ear, making her heart skip a beat. "Whats wrong?"

She refused to meet his eyes. She did not have enough strength now. Against her will a quiet whimper left her lips." I-I'm afraid..." There she said it. Now she was just waiting for him to laugh at her stupid fears.

Yet it did not come.

She dared a peek at him. He did not laugh, he did smirk he did not seem to think she was stupid. He just stared. His lips caught hers in a chase kiss.

"Of course you are, I would be concerned if you where not" his lips traveled to her outer ear lobe where he nipped at the tender flesh. She sucked in air deeply, resisting the urge to tell him to go on. "...I won't force you if you aren't ready but I'll show you what it's like to be loved and I know you want that more then anything else"

His voice was softer then normal and his word reassuring. She wanted to be loved as a person, a whole. Not pity love that she received from Yoh and his other friends, someone who loved her unconditionally.

And he offered that to her.

He lifted himself from her and held out his hand.

Here she lay scared, fragile, naked, and worthless and still he wanted her.

Without hesitation she reach out and took his hand. They fell on the bed in a tangled mess of body and limbs.

"Please you need to believe me, Do you?" Ren almost begged, almost being the key word.His pride would not let his sink so low for a second time. But she knew what he meant.

"I believe you, but..." Anna turned away. Her past had taught her to never take peoples word. Humans where imperfect and unable to to keep promises. She had learned this the hard way.

And that he understood.

"Be my last"

Without another word, he effortlessly scoped her up in his arms his lips crashing onto her with a passion that he didn't even know he had. Her hand laced through his with ease and the silence left them alone to their own thoughts.

Maybe it wasn't such a mistake after all.

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Owari

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A/N:That is the closest to smut that I've ever wrote.(blushes) Well finally I got off my butt and wrote so whatever.

Forever and Eternally,

---Anna