My friends, enemies, frenemies, enemies who are pretending or wanting to be friends, or vice versa, I now encourage you to throw whatever device that you are using to read this story off of a particularly high cliff, unless of course, that device is not yours, and go enjoy a nice, warm, chocolate chip cookie.
I urge you to do this thing because if you haven't got the stomach for a story about a few friends,who I will introduce to you in the next chapter, who are captured by a man named Stick, who does many treacherous things and is a horrible cook and is also wanted for crimes in 18 different states and 3 countries, particularly in Asia,and will probably kidnap some cats just to utterly destroy the boredom that will possess him for at least 3 chapters, you should do these things.
Sincerely,
HiSpeedCarrot