A/N So heres another story for all you Newsroom addicts. I'm working on my other one and hope to update soon.
Not sure how I feel about this one, pretty sure it could have been a lot better and most certainly my stories and writing is not as good as you guys posting on here but the idea was stuck in my head while on a plane back from Texas and I just needed to get it down.
Hope you all enjoy, please be kind and leave reviews.
Thank you to everyone who reviewed my other story too.
Stay safe over New Year.
Oh yeah I don't own the Newsroom although I wish I did :)
Thanks again.
"not really sure how to feel about it, something in the way you move, makes me feel like I can't live without you, yeah it takes me all the way and I want you to stay"
After the voice mail that Mackenzie never received, she prayed things between her and Will would be how can she put it... Smoother maybe.
Part of her honestly believed her and Will could make it, the way he had acted during his hospital visit the fire that danced in his eyes. She'd though finally I've got "my" Will again.
Mackenzie however couldn't have been more wrong. Will fell apart fast, faster than anyone could have imagined. He became an outer shell of himself and Mac had no idea why.
He snapped constantly at the staff, he was ignoring her on and off air.
Mac quickly began to feel invisible to a man she loved. She was breaking, everyone could see it the lump in her throat evident when Will would glance through her not at her as she would try and give him the run down, since he'd stopped attending meetings.
"WILL, WILL! WOULD YOU JUST LISTEN?! DON'T LET HIM GO GET HIM BACK WILL!"
"okay thank you, senator good luck with the campaign"
Mackenzie swiped her headset from her head and threw it to the floor screaming
"I GIVE UP!".
After that the lack of Mackenzie magic was felt more and more, as she began to leave earlier and earlier and mostly before the broadcast and some days she'd just not even turn up not that anyone had thought Will realised since most days he was hauled in his office returning to "the good old days" when he didn't gave a shit.
Thursday 15th December 2011
The snow hurtled towards the New York busy streets, covering path ways untouched glistening up the star lit skies the streets seemed eerily quiet, while the newsroom was in full swing preparing for a broadcast. The moment Mackenzie entered in a casual attire in true film like fashion the newsroom halted everyone looked but no one spoke she just walked straight up to Wills office and handed him a letter and left. If only everyone knew this was but the quiet before the storm.
Once Will began to read the handwritten four word letter, he wished he hadn't been such an arse while trying to get his shit together. He had no words, no clear thoughts just an aching feeling. He couldn't rationalise a sentence to convince her but he wanted to ring her just to say she'd made a mistake. Just as he scrolled to her number and hovered over the call button his phone was alive Charlie's name a light and he knew he ass was about to get a good old beating.
"YOUR A FUCKING IDIOT WILL, YOU HAVE THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO YOU IN YEARS BACK, RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU AND YOU TREAT HER LIKE SHIT UNTIL SHE LEAVES"
"Charlie I..." Will was trying his best to give a screaming Charlie an answer, some sort of explanation but he had nothing, this was just as out the blue to him. Okay maybe not completely, he knew he was pushing her and although people wouldn't think it, he'd missed her and noticed the shortage in presence I mean how could he not he loved her after all this time the way her eyes glittered, the way she half bit her bottom lip and just her outright Macisms like when she'd start well attempt a smart sharp witted comment only to fall flat because she hadn't thought it the whole way through, however he never ever thought she'd leave. After a few brief moments of silence Charlie piped in again.
"YOU BETTER PUT THIS RIGHT, YOU HAVE TO DO THIS AND WILL BE HONEST WITH HER BECAUSE YOU CAN'T DO THIS WITHOUT HER!"
"I don't know how" Will's voice was quiet and slightly timid his breathing hitched and a lump in his throat formed that he'd tried his best to swallow.
All of a sudden Charlie had found his inner calm, and offered Will a time and solution.
"I have called her Will, asked for a meeting in my office tomorrow, just show up and I'll leave you alone with her. I'll evacuate the floor if I bloody have to but you need to promise me something Will"
"anything"
"tell her how you feel no fucking around!"
After a long sleepless night of tossing turning and some hard thinking Will finally found himself outside Charlie's office. Scared and with a slight trembling he looked at his rolex watch noticed she'd be arriving at any minute, glanced towards the door. Upon second glance he saw her petite outline through the glass a body he'd never fail to recognize it was then he knew it was now or never. He'd been given an opportunity that he can't and he won't fuck up
"you can do this William McAvoy." because right now he needed all the encouragement he could get.
With one knock and a quick push of the door there he was face to face with Mackenzie who looked tired, puffy and red. Each time she sniffled he knew it was from crying, not from what the outside would would consider a cold because these were the little things he knew it was the way she sniffled when she was upset and quiver her bottom lip ever so slightly biting it to try and stop. Even with all the above he thought she was still beautiful, his everything. Her eyes red and raw were increasing not only his guilt but the burning urge to embrace her tidy frame and tell her it was okay, he forgave her and kiss every fear she had away. Just as he delved deeper and deeper into the fantasy of Mackenzie. She brushed past him not that he realised she'd even moved that far into the room or Charlie had left. Mac just stated how she "couldn't do this" when he grabbed her arm she jumped and looked into his eyes as the tears rolled quickly and she began to become hysteric he couldn't help but embrace her rubbing her back ever so slightly in attempts to control the constant stream of tears.
Once she became stable, she shook her head violently hitting him as she quickly moved away beginning to cry and tell him she "couldn't do this" Will had no idea whether he was having some dream state deja vu or whether this was really happening all over again. Again he stepped forwards to take her into his arms but she backed towards the window and turned to watch as more snow fell upon wrapped up strangers walking down below. She looked out and took a moment to not only ignore Will but take in the city she loved, it was heaven to her maybe because in some ways it represented her. The big lights and bright ideas was her EP side, the exiting power it had on not only visitors but residents was her child like excitement she tried to bring at all times but there were also seedy dangerous parts which represented her impulses and every mistake she ever and always seemed to make but now she was giving it all up without a job and no one making her offers she had to also give up the city. It might be for the best god only knows why she thought this would ever work out in the first, she'd been in war zone just to punish herself at some point she had to stop punishing herself and it started now.
"Will, I can't do this not now, maybe not even ever you're not ready and I have you building my hopes up to smash them down, I can keep holding onto nothing it's driving me to a breakdown. I'm sorry I can't keep punishing myself and I can't let you either."
she never turned from the window as she spoke and after the moment of silence she just got up and walked away knowing this was it she was walking away from everything she wanted.
Will was left speechless what can he say this is his fault he'd caused her now appalling state he just wanted to hold her and tell her they could make it through, change her mind and he'd try knowing that she was already gone.
Swallowing the huge lump quite firmly formed in his throat that was quite content on staying.
"Mac, please please don't do this. We can try, I don't want to lie to you and say I'm completely fixed because I'm not... but I promise you I'm trying. I'm trying Mac I really am for us. For you."
when speaking Will had made his way over to a frail, crying Mac whose hands he took and eyes he pleaded with he wanted her to believe him. He hoped what he said right now was enough, he knew logically it wasn't. She may believe him but she was stubborn and after a few words even if they were poured from the heart she wouldn't crave in and tell everyone she'd stay.
"Will you don't understand, I can't wait round while you try. I just can't I don't have a house, I don't have anything any more its all gone the only thing I have left is my luggage in my well what used to be my office and this one way plane ticket to London. Will I'm leaving and as much as I want to stay I think we both know I can't. Not like this we need to accept... accept..."
you could hear Mackenzie voice crack with every word tears streaming that she wasn't able to stop if she stopped for a moment, you'd hear her heart break into a million tiny pieces, shattering like it was the most fragile glass in the world being dropped in slow motion from the empire state building and she felt it, she felt every crack, then she felt breathless as she thought about what she was about to say, it was like she was falling with her heart just waiting for the crash landing.
"Mac don't say it please" it was now Wills turn to begin cracking and Mac knew he was just about to fall apart but she had to say what she needed to.
"Accept its... O.. O.. Over Will! We've had five fucking years to sort this shit out and we haven't, we haven't got any closer to figuring out were we are heading. It like we take one step forwards and one hundred steps back and I just can't take it any more. I want things to get better trust me I do. I need you to know love you so much it hurts."
Will broke in that second, she'd taken a sledge hammer to his heart. As tears rolled down his checks, just clinging to his chin he knew it was about time he told her the truth. He held her close leading them over to the plush leather couch perched on looking the city. This time she didn't pull away she simply lay there with him resting her head on his chest, letting the tears run freely into his shirt that she was clinging to as if it were a saving her life. Will had placed his chin on her head letting his tears roll into her hair and they sat like this for hours until they both felt stable enough to talk. Mac could Will stirring from behind as he moved to face her, his eyes were open and vulnerable. He knew to get her to listen to any thing he was saying he had to break down every fence he'd ever put up when it came to her because Charlie was right he couldn't do this without her, who was he kidding he couldn't live without her and now was the time to tell her.
"Mac I want to speak and I want you to listen okay?!"
she didn't answer she looked up through her messy bangs with her big glassy watered over her eyes and nodded.
"I love you Mac, I always have. You messed up yes but we all mess up we all make mistakes but before I can forgive you, you have to forgive yourself, please forgive yourself?! Because I want to move on with you, I want to have a life with you and only you. Your the one Mac, the only one and I'll never find anyone I love as much and I can't let you go. We may be screwed up and I may not be fixed but we have a chance at true happiness and we should take it because I'll never be happy with anyone else. We've already messed up in all ways possible. I can't explain what you do something in the way you move, the things that make you you make me feel like I can't live without you, you get me through the darkest days of my life and I want no I need you to stay. Please Mac stay, because without you I'll drown. As for a job, you know Charlie would take you back in an instant and for a house you can stay in my apartment, if you feel thats too much I will pay for a hotel room until you find your feet just stay?"
All through his speech Will had tears escaping from his bright blue eyes he had done it. He'd let himself fall apart in front of her, a weight had been lifted yet the idea of her still loomed heavy on his heart.
Waiting for Mac to speak was making Will increasingly nervous, the lump was back and his palms began to sweat and his breathing was stopping, he was pretty sure this was it he was dying.
"Will... I don't know what to say"
"Mac just say how you feel"
and there it was the tables had been turned and Mac had to bare all but she just couldn't not because she didn't love him but because she couldn't find the words like he could so instead Mac cupped his checks gently wiping away every tear that fell and placed a gentle loving kiss, once they pulled away to look at each other the moments before had caused them to go dizzy the world was spinning it was a dream, or heavy intoxication because the spark was ignited and they both dived in for a second reassuring kiss.