Wash didn't know how many times she had thought about it. Hanging the consequences for the chance to know... Know whether he felt the same. Whether he wanted to smile every time he saw her… Whether he felt tingles run up his spine when they stood close to each other. What if she risked it all and he didn't feel the same way? What if she walked up to his damned desk, which managed to spend more time with him than she did, demanded that he listen to her and told him just how important he was to her, and he rejected her… How could she ever live with that? She couldn't. Not knowing was definitely better. Absolutely no risk, no unknowns, just Wash and Taylor, commander and loyal soldier... As it had always been. As it should be. She was not a coward in any sense of the word, but the thought of rejection from Taylor scared her more than anything ever had. Sometimes she wished they had never met, just because feeling this way hurts so much. Not knowing was hell, but knowing could be an incredibly worse form of torture. People are crazy. How did anyone ever have the strength to use those words, when you couldn't tell the future? It was like jumping from a plane with no parachute. She would never be so stupid, and she would never say those words.