Recently, AMadLove came to me with a challenge fic, to write a story based off of Britney Spears' song Criminal. This is a very short oneshot, but I liked the way it turned out, and hopefully you will too! (For more effect, listen to Criminal while reading it.) Enjoy!

A small click as the safety was flicked down and then the loud shot of a gun. Harley's ears rang loudly and she covered them with her gloved hands and slowly opened her eyes. She couldn't hear yet, her senses still coming back to her as she watched her boyfriend bending over the bloody corpse of his latest victim, laughing hysterically. He was so beautiful, the laugh lines fanning out from his eyes and mouth, his expression the definition of joy. The body below him made Harley's stomach sink. A large hole blew through the bodies head, blood covering the wall and dripping down the bullet hole, not to mention the bruises scattered across his face. What are you doing here, Harleen? You used to cry at the sight of blood.

Harley's eyes squeezed shut. Not again. Her internal voice continued to bombard her with these accusations, screaming at her to leave him. Her sanity was slipping, but a few little spots still remained. She was desperate to get rid of them. Don't call me that. My names Harley. And things are different now… I love him.

He's a criminal. A psychopath.

But I love him.

You're completely insane. This isn't rational.

I don't care if it's rational or not… Just then she felt warm hands pulling her in close, on her hips and her back bumped into the hard wall of flesh that was Joker's chest. She slowly lowered her hands, realizing that she could hear now. The Joker was still giggling wildly, but not as chaotically as he had a few moments before. "Are you ready to go, my sweet?" He purred in that gorgeous tone that only he could master. Harley swooned at the pet name, not knowing how she could be so lucky. Rational? Who needs rational. She turned around, her hands touching his chest and the Harley part of her head swam with lust at the sight of his striking white flesh, those dark eyes. Yes, he was beautiful. He was perfection. He was reckless and chaotic and evil and she loved every minute of it.

"I'm ready, Mister J," She breathed. He smiled down at her, charming and rakish and she felt her heart melting. Slowly, he eased something into her hands and she looked down at the cold hunk of metal in her hands. Her gun. Her thumb swiped off a drop of blood from the barrel and she looked up at him, smiling at him, loving the pleased look on his face as he watched her claiming her gun. She took his hand and they started to walk, but just before they reached the door, she whispered, "Wait." He raised one eyebrow at her but was still smiling, watching and waiting to see what she would do. Her thumb flicked the safety off and she turned back to the dead body, firing off four shots into his chest in the shape of a diamond. His body jerked and blood spilled from the wounds, still fresh since he hadn't hit rigor yet. She grinned and blew at the tip of her gun, turning back to grin happily at her boyfriend.

"Oh, Harley, what am I going to do with you?" He purred, grabbing her hips, yanking her in and kissing her hard on the mouth. She moaned against his lips, throwing her arms around his neck, pressing her body flush against his. The barrel stroked against her hand and adrenaline pumped through her veins as she felt the heat from her gun pressing into her skin.

It isn't rational.

And that's why it's just so much fun.