"Maa, maa. What do we have here?" Kakashi looked at the sign of a shop that spelled out in bright, orange letters:

ECCHI PARADISE!

Kakashi stood transfixed, gazing lovingly at the store with his one uncovered eye. His entire being went rigid; his breath shallow. It was his haven. His calling. His…Ecchi Paradise.

"This…can't be an illusion." The copy-nin narrowed his eye as he thought about all the possibilities of this shop being an illusion. If it was a hoax, he promised that whoever set up the genjutsu would die a painful, slow death, complete with torture devices and genjutsu's designed to make the receiver see Orochimaru naked, dancing the Waltz with a polar bear. Yea. It seems Kakashi took the time to have situations planned in case anyone tried to fool him. Ha.

"But, just to make sure…" Kakashi tentatively lifted up his headband, revealing his Sharingan eye. He activated it and scanned the front of the shop.

"No signs of a jutsu."

Kakashi jumped onto the roof of the store and checked up there.

"No traps or anything."

Jumping down and off the roof, Kakashi scanned the passerby's.

"No one seems suspicious."

Happy with this evaluation, Kakahsi once again looked at the shop…and immediately started to blush. 'Ohohohoh. Wonder what you will have in store for me…my precious.' Kakashi lowered his headband back down and walked towards the small store, intent on smothering himself with it's ecchi-ness.

Kakashi stepped into the shop, hearing a bell ring, alerting the workers of his presence. He quickly took in the appearance of the store. The walls were a soft sea-foam green. Along the walls were rows and rows of different books. The store had three isles; on dedicated to movies, music, and action figures. The farthest wall held interesting items, such as live blow-up dolls of different characters from a book or movie. All in all, paradise. Ecchi paradise.

The copy-nin quickly strolled over to the left wall, where they were selling Icha-Icha Paradise books. Maybe they had the latest installment.

"Welcome." A timid voice spoke from behind Kakashi.

The jounin felt sweat collect on his forehead. How was he not able to feel the presence of this person? He collected himself and turned around to greet the person.

"Hello. I am Hatake…"

Kakashi found himself staring at air. The person was gone. Kakashi slowly pierced his brow. 'Should I activate my Sharingan again?' Kakashi started to reach for his headband, when…

"Oh. My. GOD!!" He heard a shriek in his ear. He turned to look and saw a girl grasping a familiar looking orange book. Kakashi shot his arm to his pouch, and found his precious item missing.

"Hey you bit-"

"OH MY GOD!!!! This is the special edition Icha-Icha Paradise: Lovers of the Night! And is it…OH MY GOD IT IS!!!!!! IT'S AUTOGRAPHED BY JIAIRYA-SAMA!!!!!!"

Kakashi stared wide eyed at the girl and slowly backed away from her. She was starting to scare him. While he was thinking a retreat to the nearest exit would be a good idea, the girl turned to him, fire in her eyes, and she stepped right up into his face, nose barely an inch away.

"Did you meet Jiairya-sama? Is he young? Old? Funny? Dull? Perverted? Oh please tell me he is!!!!" the girl rambled on and on.

'Must make an escape. Knew this place was too good to be true.' Kakashi, being the excellent ninja that he was, knew how to escape death, and did so on numerous occasions. He escaped a fight with Zabuza, Orochimaru, Itachi and Kisame, Tsunade's breasts and other such dangerous missions. But never has he ever had to face an ecchi fangirl. Fangirls are the most dangerous species known to man. They also seemed to protect each other like a disease. Anger one, and 10 more will show up to beat up the offender. Like a talking, perverted cancer of some sort.

So now you see Kakashi's dilemma. He really wanted his book back, but prying it from the fangirl's hands might anger the beast. He could leave without his book, but then the beast might get mad and send her minions out to get him. And he would be short a book. It was like treading on thin ice. There was only one thing left to do.

Kakashi slowly reached for his kunai holster with the intent to kill the beast, but stopped short. The girl had her eyes pinned on his hand. Kakashi whipped his hand away from his holster but it was too late.

"Please don't tell me…" Her eyes began to water.

"No. I wasn't reaching for my holster for a very sharp kunai to kill you." Kakashi insisted scratching the back of his head, but apparently his comment went unnoticed because the girl talked throughout his sentence.

"…that you have more signed books. Oh. My. God." The girl was red with the thought of having touched two books that Jiairya-sama personally handled. And then…she fainted.

Kakashi stared down at the unconscious girl. 'Well that takes care of one problem.' He reached down to pry his book from her hands, but her fingers were locked around the orange gem. 'Oh please don't let this be happening to me.' Kakashi pulled on the book with both hands, but only succeeded in losing his balance and falling right on top of the girl. His eye widened and his cheeks reddened. Up close, she didn't look so much like a beast. Kakashi stood up and looked at the girl again. Nope, not a beast. She was only about 4 inches shorter than him, with mahogany brown hair cut in layers at shoulder length. She wore a blue belly shirt, covered by the standard jounin vest. She wore her headband in her hair as a hair tie, but let her bangs loose from the fabric. She wore the standard ninja sandals. Her pants were knee length spandex covered by a blue skirt, with a long slit in the middle. He peered closely at her headband and discovered she was from the Village Hidden in the Mist.

"No matter." Kakashi pulled out a kunai and stared at he girls wrists. 'If I can cut off her hands without her noticing…' He placed a hand on her wrist and brought up his other hand, holding the kunai. Just as he was about to bring his arm down, deep green eyes opened up and stared at him. Kakashi swiftly hid his arm behind his back, let go of her wrist and tried to smile. The girl blinked back up at him.

"Oh. I'm sorry." She pulled herself up. "Oh. This is yours." She handed him back his book and then proceeded to dust the dirt off of her.

Meanwhile, Kakashi was hyperventilating. First he comes into the store and is attacked by a raging fangirl. Then she goes berserk on him and steels his precious. Then faints. And now she has the nerve to wake back up and say 'Oh. Sorry.'? What they hell was that? This girl was freaking crazy, and most definitely bipolar.

The girl brushed her hands against her skirt and looked up at him. Kakashi found himself looking into deep-sea green eyes. Kakashi fought to hold off a blush.

"Ha. Sorry. Welcome to Ecchi Paradise. I am Allison, and I own this wonderful paradise." The girl who now has a name, that name being Allison, leered at Kakashi.

Kakashi was a little weary this time. He eyed the girl up and down, scrutinizing her. She…seemed normal. "I am Hatake Kakashi."

"Kaka-chan!" Allison immediately threw herself upon the man. "SO, you have met the wonderful hermit, yes?"

Kakashi flew from the girls arms. BIPOLAR!!!!!!

"What the HELL is wrong with you?"

Allison, who was picking herself up off from the floor, looked at Kakashi weird. "What do you mean?"

'You have got to be kidding me.' Kakashi felt his mouth twitch. 'Must. Leave. Now.'

"Well, um…you don't have anything I need here…so I'll…just…leave." Kakashi sprinted to the door and was about to leave when he heard Allison utter words that he oh so longed to hear.

"I have the Hentai's Holy Grail."

Kakashi stopped dead in his tracks. She had…the Hentai's Holy Grail? It was near impossible to find, only 12 ever made. 11 of those twelve, Jiairya owned, and hid them in places no one would ever find. Kakashi had a sneaking suspicion that Gamabunta swallowed them, but he could never be to sure.

Slowly turning around, Kakashi looked at the bipolar girl. "You own, the Hentai's Holy Grail?"

She nodded slowly, as if explaining something simple to a little child.

"Can…can I see it?"

Allison smirked. Kakashi didn't even need to use his sharingan to clearly see her lips move to form those words he longed to hear…

"No." She whispered.

Kakashi fell on his face. 'Did…did she just say…No?' This could not be happening. Kakashi started hyperventilating (again). 'This…can't be. I must resolve the situation'. He straightened up and smiled, though he realized his mask hid the effect. He coughed and watched her turn to him.

'Good. I shall do this in a dignified manner' "WHY? Please, please, please!!! I wanna seeeee!" He whined, falling to his knees.

Allison looked triumphant in a disgusted type of way. "No." She crossed her arms and walked to the back of the store, organizing the erm…collectibles. Kakashi was staring at air. Never before, had someone, especially a woman, turn him down. He would have to change this. He crept up silently behind her, intent on knocking her out, taking her to Ibiki the interrogation on the location of the Hentai Holy Grail.

"Hatake-san…please, if you insist on attacking me from behind, I will be forced to do something you really wouldn't want me to do." She turned around and leered at him.

Kakashi broke out into cold sweat. How in the HELL did she detect him? He was Hatake Kakashi!!!!! The Copy-nin! The Silent Pervert!!!! Teacher of the Hokage (Naruto) and 2 new Sannins (Sasuke and the Pink-haired annoyance). And this…this THING detected him?

"Ah. You caught me." He answered, perfectly sure that the girl was unaware of his thoughts.

"Hatake-san? Just because you are Hatake Kakashi, the Copy-nin, the Silent Pervert, and teacher of our Hokage and his subordinates the Sannins, does not mean that I can't detect you. You aren't taking me seriously." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and turned to face him. "Why are you still here? You said I had nothing you want. Unless, there's something else?"

Kakashi hesitated. He couldn't outwardly beg for the Hentai Holy Grail again…it would diminish what dignity he had left with this girl. And he couldn't steel it. The Hentai Holy Grail only showed itself to those who were worthy, and the worthy ones were able to share it with the world. So he couldn't go with his original plan and kill Allison. But what if he…made a trade? No. That would be avarice and greed, and the Hentai Holy Grail probably wouldn't find him worthy enough to look at it. There was only one thing left to do.

"Allison?"

"What?"

"You must have read the Icha Icha series?"

Her eyes turned to fire again and she started to go into fangirl mode. Kakashi wanted to stop her before she went too far.

"Wanna have lunch and discuss it?"

Allison came back down to earth and looked at Kakashi. She then smiled. "Sure. I'm on break anyway."

Kakashi bowed, allowing her to pass him to get to the door. They stepped out into the afternoon light. Allison was ready for lunch, while Kakashi was doing the only thing he could do to get to the Hentai Holy Grail. Become friends with the beast.