On the Way Home
Thank you to the three that reviewed and encouraged me to continue with the series. I hope to meet your expectations. K.
The disclaimers apply. Don't own any characters, except Dani, which I created.
Need to read Death of Margaret to understand this story.
Daniel suggested that Hawkeye sit in the back so that Dani could sleep in a comfortable position. Daniel was hoping that his son would fall asleep from exhaustion on the way home so that he and Trapper could have a discussion with Sidney. Within moments of beginning the trip home Hawkeye was out cold.
It was a few moments of silence before anyone spoke. "I'm worried about him," Daniel spoke up.
"It will take time," Sidney said. "She was the love of his life."
"I just hope history doesn't repeat itself."
"What happen when your wife died?" Sidney asked.
"I shut down. I didn't want to speak to anyone. I sent Hawkeye to live with his great aunt for six months until I realized that he was hurting as much as I was and he needed me just as much as I needed him. I just hope he doesn't repeat what I did. Dani would be heartbroken."
"I don't see Hawkeye doing that," Trapper said.
"I would hope that he wouldn't, but I'm not sure," Daniel replied. "When Margaret became terminal it took a few days before he bounced back."
"What did he do?" Sidney asked.
"He locked himself away. He hid in their room. Margaret had to call me to pick Dani up knowing that she alone couldn't take care of her. She was distraught about it."
"Did you explain what was happening to Dani?"
"As best as I could. Being seven and autistic it was a bit of a challenge. She told me she was scared and that Daddy was scaring her."
"What did you tell her?" Sidney asked.
"I didn't want to be the one to tell her that her mother was dying. How to explain that to her was up to them. I tried to explain to her that her father didn't mean to scare her but without telling her the truth about her mom it made it difficult."
"Did she ever know the truth?"
"One thing about Dani is that she's persistent. If she wants something bad enough she will let you know in her own way. She got bored at my house and decided to call home until she got an answer. When Hawkeye finally answered the phone she started to cry and told him she wanted to go home. I know Hawkeye didn't want her to see her mother in pain but I think he then realized that keeping her away was doing more harm than good," Daniel paused to regain his composure.
"I don't know why they decided to both come down to my house but they did to tell Dani the truth. By the time they got there, I could tell that it took a lot of energy out of Margaret to travel from their house and down five houses to my house. Energy that she really didn't have. As soon as the door opened, Dani squealed with delight to see her mommy and daddy. Her daddy picked her up on his lap and explained to her what was happening." Daniel stopped speaking allowing the tears to roll down his face.
"I don't think they remembered that I was there or even knew that I was listening in but I remember the energy and pain it caused Margaret to speak. By the time they had diagnosed her terminal it had already spread to her lungs making it difficult for her to breathe and speak. Hawkeye had tried to explain the situation to her but couldn't spit out any word that was similar to death. I don't think he had quite accepted that Margaret was going to die yet. Hawkeye tried but the tears just dripped from his eyes and instead Margaret explained to her that she was dying. By the end everyone was crying; even me. Both Margaret and Hawkeye fell asleep on the couch and Dani stretched out over them and zonked right out.
A few minutes later, Sydney spoke up again.
"Trap,"
"Yeah,"
"When did you re-enter back into the picture?"
"Hawkeye, Margaret and I met at a medical convention in Boston after the war and we cleared the air. Ever since then we've stayed in touch. Dani is like a daughter to me. When Mr. Pierce said that he wanted to retire a few years back, Hawk called me to see if I was interested in become a small town doctor. I said sure and moved up here."
"I can remember when Hawkeye called me to tell me that it was terminal. I didn't know what to tell him. I've had family members die before but not the one person that I was in love with. It was only early October, before Dani's seventh birthday that they learned that the end was near. Not even eight weeks and she's no longer with us. I didn't expect the end to happen so fast," Trapper commented.
"Being autistic, Dani does not do well with strangers. I'm sure that all the people from the 4077th that were in the room intimidated her a bit. When she was little she wouldn't talk to anyone; no matter how hard they would try to get her to speak nothing would come out. When they would hand her off to a new person she would literally throw a temper tantrum so that she wouldn't be "touched" by a stranger. When she was two I met her for the first time. No one knew what was wrong with her but something was up. When I met her, I was able to recognize the signs she had and suggested that she be tested for autism. Sure enough, she was!"
"Weren't the doctor suggesting that they institutionalized her?" Sydney asked.
"I was with them when they received the diagnosis. I was the first person that Dani had allowed to be held by besides her parents and grandfather. When Margaret heard that suggestion she about tore the doctor who suggested it in half. Margaret believed that the community of Crabapple Cove could do a better job helping her than some crazy doctors."
It was about 30 minutes into the trip when Dani stirred awake. "Hey sweetie," Trapper said to her, "How are you feeling?" he said to her as he took her out of Hawkeye's arms and into his.
"Who's he?" Dani asked bluntly who Sydney was.
"This is Dr. Freedman," Trapper told her.
"But you can call me Sidney."
"It's okay Dani, he won't hurt you. He was a friend of your parents and me during the war," Trapper told her why hugging her to provide comfort.
"What happens now?" Dani asked.
"What do you mean?" Trapper responded.
"I mean what happens? Mommy gone to Heaven, but where's Heaven?"
Knowing that Dani did not know who he was, Sidney did not answer her question and left it to Trapper and Daniel.
"Sweetheart," Daniel began, "Remember what your father said that it was a place where spirits go after their bodies die."
Sidney made a mental note that he would have to remember that definition.
Dani began to cry, "But why can't I ever see her again?"
Trapper tried to answer this question while he rubbed Dani's back in small circles in hopes of calming her down getting her back to sleep, "You'll see her again one day, but right now she's in Heaven preparing it for us. Remember what your father said to you, she'll keep watch over you."
A few moments of silence passed before Daniel asked, "Is she asleep?"
"Yeah, cried herself back to sleep," Trapper said and kissed the top of Dani's head.
It was almost 4:00 a.m. when the Pierce family, plus Sidney and Trapper arrived at the elder Pierce home.
Everyone had exited the car and headed towards the house when Daniel woke up Hawkeye.
"Come on son, it's time to get you into a real bed,"
"Dad," Hawkeye asked half asleep, "When does the pain end?"
"Son, it never ends but it becomes tolerable as the days and years go on. Come on – it's cold out here."
Hawkeye got himself out of the car and bear hugged his father, shocking him.
"What was that for?" Daniel asked.
"Being there for me and Dani too."
"Promise me one thing Hawkeye."
"What's that?"
"Remember how I shut you out and had you live with your great-aunt after your mother died?"
"Yeah"
"Don't do the same mistake I did with you with Dani. She needs you more than you know."
"I know. I'm so grateful to have her. I just hope I can do this parenting business on my own."
"Remember you have me; Trapper; Sidney and the rest of the gang from the 4077th and not to mention Crabapple Cove to help raise her. Don't worry – you'll have plenty of help."
"Yeah I know, but right now I just want it to be the four of us, Dani, me, you and Trapper and help from Sidney. Lord knows I need it – maybe we can get Dani to open up to him too."
"Give her some time to adjust to him and the situation and I'm sure she'll come around."
While Hawkeye and Daniel were talking, Dani woke up and insisted to be put down. Trapper put her down and she followed the shoveled off path to meet her father and grandfather. When she met up with them, Hawkeye scooped her up in his arms and asked, "Are we going to be okay, Dad?"
"Yeah, kiddo, we'll be okay," Hawkeye told his daughter who found a comfortable position in his arms and Daniel knew that while there would be rough patches during the grieving process; the Pierces would come out of this okay.
The End