Disclaimer: I do not own 'Alice in Wonderland'. Oh, and I'm still rather bad at english, so...

My Last Breath

Sunrise was barely lighting the landscape and her.

She was alone, standing on the top of the building, eyeing her destiny. Watching her future, she wasn't even a little bit thrilled, maybe only fascinated… Was fate this inevitable? Was it unstoppable? Had she nothing to say?

Oh, no, she wasn't afraid. Future was everything everyone wanted, because was there a person that imagined a 'no future'? Of course not. She would be stupid, naive, to complain. There was only one, little 'but'…

Looking down, looking forward, she saw darkness. Darkness wasn't bad, darkness was part of the world, part of soothing night, part of a man when one closes his eyelids… But what was behind this darkness, what was this thing – certainly unknown to Her?

Counting heartbeats, breaths, counting the mere seconds that separated her from the beginning, the beginning that was the end at the same time, and everything was part of normal circle of time. Looking down, looking forward, she saw only everlasting darkness, but in her head she heard a voice saying that this was alright.

Was it alright? Was it inevitable?

Voices in her head were too loud to ignore them, too strong to fight. Well, she wasn't fighting at all, she was only waiting… So what was this tightening feeling inside of her? This growing, cold feeling, making her shiver uncontrollably, making her thinking about another ways of living.

Through the open door she looked back and saw the mirror, this mirror, that made her life a damned existence, a cursed story. Mirror was black, but she knew there was a shadow inside of it, inside of her mind, feeding her with madness. Every day looking the same as the previous one, and this was an endless routine of cruel theatre, so empty, empty, empty… Her life became lonely, like a caged bird she can't leave. Her home was her prison, and the balcony door, the door that guided to the top of the building, with such a beautiful look on the huge row, on freedom.

Suddenly she thought that the door were made to torment her with uncertainty.

In some way she called what she felt the 'addiction' to the mirror, the dark world behind it. She couldn't live without it, without voices, without world so simple, world so planned. Like if the mirror and it's demons have stolen her soul, every joyous thought or feeling. Was she strong enough to break this bond?

She shivered. Tempting voice inside her told her that she isn't. She is the right thing.

But the wind smelled of freedom, and for the first time she thought, that maybe there is one more choice she can make. That she can live without the voices, than she is able to do that…!

But…

Will the voices allow her to do that?

She saw them cold, but yet so warm, so close to her, so distant, but she knew that the mirrors surface wasn't a prison, because she was walking through it. She was certain of one thing – she won't live here like that any longer. The house itself felt as if started to breathe once more… To breathe, to live, and it will end when she will end. End to breathe.

She was counting. One, two, three… Waiting for a signal to come, to enlighten her, to stop her from the edge, because haven't the wind felt her silent tears, that came from inside of her being. Like she was crying out Mabds lake.

Will it change anything?

Will the stepping out into the air end her pain, or will she stay forever instead in that dreamworld behind the mirror, and could never come back to her normal world, now so poisoned. She couldn't live like that any longer, she couldn't even stand here for much longer, because looking down was disturbing. Where she could stand for next minutes? Not too near the mirror, because she will look inside of it depths and see what new – that never was new, really – and end her very will. Where she could stand? Inside the doors, like in between?

Yes, it was a good place, she decided.

Mabd told her everything was just a game, and she should play it if she wants to live. When it was? She hadn't seen Mabd for a long time, but Mabd was the only person conscious enough to know what the dreamworld is. Maybe she was prisoned there like She is now...

So she decided.

There is only one way.

Wind smelled of fresh water and grass, of ozone, and for the first time in eternity she smiled like an eternal child she actually was.

She made her step, and the mirror screamed.

She took another, and heard the mirror to break, and the voices died out.

She stared at the edge, and then the Open Door appeared before her, like if it was there all the time, just the same normal door directing to a normal room, but unlike her room this one was brighter. Like if she could stop counting her breaths, determining her life length.

She thought, she would miss Mabd, but if Mabd was part of her mind, maybe she would be free now just like her. Maybe.

Dreamworld screamed, then burned, and then disappeared.

She took her final step into the air, and door swallowed her, and guided her to her Freedom.

In a blink of eye sunrise passed into a new day.

THE END