A/N: I think you can figure out what I was listening to, judging from the title. This probably will end up being a little OOC...or not;;
Any normal person would see their lives in yearly increments. For them something happens either this year or last, maybe next year or some other year. One way or another it's always by the year, and if they wanted to be more specific they'll change the increments into months and sometimes weeks or days. But in the end, they'll be remembered in yearly increments.
Karma would sometimes wonder when exactly he stopped seeing the yearly increments. It most likely started mid-way through elementary as that's when his parents left for indefinite periods. It was to be expected; they're travelers after all. Adventurers – what reason is there for one to stay shackled to a child? They weren't made to simply settle and live on.
Since then they would be off in another prefecture or even another country all together. Karma would be home, living on his own in a house of his parents' memorabilia with money being sent to him at the end of every month. At first he waited eagerly for their return, but after the first three trips he gave up on them.
They wouldn't look after him; there is no going back to that old memory of "family" now. That was what Karma believed, and from there he built up his solitary world.
The yearly increments fell away leaving a vicious cycle of temporary comfort transcending to utter loneliness and back. There were the periods in between as well – the period of increase tension before the realization of being completely alone and the period of numbness afterwards. Like the passing seasons within the years they come and go, taking with each the memories of those times.
It was a rough cycle to go with, but for Karma it gave him a sense of calm. Once you stop seeing the years, time for you also stops, he realized after experiencing all of the "seasons," one after another, several times over. Once time stops, the future hardly matters anymore.
He didn't need to think about what will happen to him later anymore. All that matters is the "now", and whatever that "now" presents him, he'll be sure to hold his pride up high. It's all he had left now.
The season of temporary comfort – it probably started once he entered Kunugigaoka Junior High School. Karma had learned a couple of amusing things about himself from the period of numbness before. For one, it was amusing to spite others. It amused him to no end, seeing the glares focused on him. It was a direct challenge of superiority; "who has the bite to back up the bark" in a way.
Speaking of the bite, it was the other thing he had discovered. He craved a fight. Screw the fact of it being a good or a bad one; he just wanted to fight. The reason why…
He loved the thrill of battle. Whether it was against a petty delinquent or a full on gang, there was always a strong spark of adrenaline in his system. Karma had to admit just as much; he feels most alive in the throes of a full-on fight. More so than he has felt in a long, long time.
That was during the season of loneliness however. In that period he was so bored and depressed and utterly resentful that he couldn't help but piss off everyone he could come in contact with. That led him to getting a suspension period from the school. That led way to the death of that terrible season, and in time the start of a long season of numbness.
Karma was pretty sure he calmed down in that period, and once the suspension was lifted he graduated that final "year" and went on to the first year of that reputable school called Kunugigaoka.
He had heard of it before; it had a grueling system arranged like some sort of hierarchy. It's mostly present in the third-year classes, but it was glaringly obvious that once you hit the "End" class any expectations of the future are destroyed and dumped. Put it simply, there is no future in Class 3-E. Not that it mattered to him anyways.
People were afraid of him. Not just the students in his class but the teachers as well. Fear might not be the right word though – perhaps intimidated, or anxious. Either way, he was a presence that made everyone squirm, just a little. He couldn't help but revel in that fact.
The classes were easy for him. Aside from one or two small cases in Japanese, it was all child's play so most times Karma would just skip entirely. If he wanted he could move up the ranks to a more academically challenging class, but he lost the privilege thanks to his seasonal spurt of bloodlust. Not like it mattered anyway.
Almost everyone in the class – students and teachers – was a bore. Karma attempted to spite a few of his classmates, but in the end it was all pointless. They know very well what type of person he is. Troublemaker, delinquent, trickster, a humanized devil of sorts; the list could go on. Even though that's only the small fragment of the person called Akabane Karma.
Despite all of that, one person did catch his interest. Front row, second desk before the window, there was a student that caught his eye. Had he not known any better Karma was certain he'd mistake that person as a girl. Short stature, long blue hair held back in a low ponytail – Shiota Nagisa was a living example of a full-fledge trap.
That was enough to at least perk his interest, but that was all it was. Slight interest. Otherwise Nagisa was nothing else. He was, in all forms of the word, harmless. That's why, despite the peaked interest as to why he resembled a girl (too much) Karma had no real reason to engage him.
Not that it kept him from doing so. It started with an ad for the new Sonic Ninja movie from a magazine Nagisa had. They started talking about it, and it just escalated from there. Soon enough, they were best of friends…for a little while, anyways.
The season of growing tension – it was after summer break of his second year. What had changed during the previous season to this one? Karma can't exactly point it, but it might be concerning his relationship with Nagisa. They are friends…were friends. They talk still, but they stopped speaking casually after some time. Why was that?
Karma still doesn't know; there was something about Nagisa that disturbed him. It unnerved him to no end, and it's all because of a single poke. A small gentle poke that had carried the same ferocity of a knife plunging through his gut; it petrified him. He couldn't stand it.
The next thing he knew – they knew – they were just regular classmates that talked on occasion. Nagisa focused on his studies, and Karma distracted himself through more spites, battles, and minimal facts.
His teacher that year said something interesting to him. "So long as you're in the right, Sensei will always be on your side!" he said, in a rather proud voice. It intrigued Karma; this was the first time he heard something like this. It begs the question what exactly is right and what exactly is wrong.
Karma was positive he was on the wrong, yet this person – his teacher is telling him he is in the right. It was interesting to say the least. It was also by all means suspicious. He was in 2-D after all.
At this point he can move up to the more advance class, all the way up to class 2-A now. But Karma enjoyed being lazy; when there's nothing it meant he can go off and do things of other interest. There is no reason for him to study in this class, so he stayed just for the freedom of doing whatever he wanted. To an extent that is what that teacher was telling him, but Karma knew that "Sensei" had plans of his own. What they were, he wasn't sure and that put him on edge, just a little.
But he found out eventually. Through a small number of events he found out what that teacher was doing. It started with his seniors in their third year. One of them (Karma guessed it was a class A student) was bullying the other. "Bullying" was putting it lightly, actually; it was more like harassment.
It left a foul taste in his mouth, and next thing Karma knew he beat the crap out of that class A student. It wasn't even a light beating either. He smacked that guy's head against a wall, broke an arm and a leg, and (although this was pure speculation) Karma was pretty sure he cracked a rib or two. All in all, it was a brutal beating, and that senior of his was in tears. In the meantime the victim of that senior had stumbled away.
Kara learned eventually that the student he saved was a Class E student. At first it hardly mattered to him; he was in the "right" after all. There's nothing wrong with saving anyone, regardless of this stupid hierarchy the school had set up. No matter what they say, he was in the right.
"No, Akabane. No matter how I look at it, you are in the wrong,"
That was what he said. It begged Karma to ask, "Exactly what about this puts me in the wrong?" But he kept it to himself, because the answer was staring right at him the face. The teacher didn't care about him. To this man – this "adult" – he was only a stepping stone in his career.
"A low rank student passing the school all with full/high marks," – he could imagine what sort of sick, twisted ideal this man had in mind. The right thing versus the wrong thing; there was no such thing. There's only the concept of what's done is done and what hasn't been done hasn't happened. He went and helped a Class E student at the cost of the top third-year student's wellbeing. That was the end of it.
Crap, he's dying.
Karma realized it as he faced the teacher, who in his mind's eye was falling away, piece by piece. All interest died with that man; he may as well be as good as dead. Everything might just be as good as dead; after all, what's left for him to go after.
Everyone could try and act as superior as they want to be, but what good does it do to prove that against someone he won't look at you straight in the eye. That was that bastard's mistake as well as his own. This will be last time he'll make such a stupid mistake again.
He's still spouting bullshit. Karma noted as the living corpse continued talking him down. His final year will be spent in class 3-E. So be it.
Without restrain, piling up all his pent up anger and despair, he attacked the corpse. He fought, tooth and nail, against this stupid adult who had the nerve to talk himself superior.
That man was annoying.
Adults are annoying.
People are annoying.
The whole world can just go rot away for all he cares.
The season of nothing – it went all the way through suspension straight to his otherwise first day in "End" class. He was told something rather interesting; it turns out that this year the class is asked to kill the teacher. A giant tentacle monster that was responsible for destroying a fraction of the moon. It sounded like the plot of some crappy action comic, but the minute he stepped onto the grounds that make up class 3-E's classroom he saw the whole thing to be true.
A big, yellow tentacle monster was serving as a teacher, and he had the grand pleasure of trying to kill him. It was absolutely perfect.
The first day gave a good idea of how this mockery of a teacher was. Easily fooled, easy to spite, and most importantly restrained from any harmful action against him. Should Karma or anyone else for that matter suddenly went up and died by this monster's hand.
Goodbye sensei. The thought of being able to bring an end to a foolish adult's career or even killing a figure that had once dared looked down on him brought him such satisfaction that he wanted it desperately. He wanted it, and no one will stop him from having the pleasure.
The second day backfired on him. That damn octopus saw through all of his attacks, and upon rebutting them sought to humiliate Karma in the process. Nail art, a cute apron, a stupid hairstyle – it did more than just irritate him. It pissed him off. He wanted to kill him, badly, to save what little pride he still had left.
So he jumped. He fell straight off a cliff, issuing his challenge to the monster teacher. Save me and die, or let me die and destroy everything that made you a working teacher. The career meant everything after all; "Sensei" will have to come after him. He can't fail this time. "Sensei" will come, and when he does he will kill him.
It failed – his plan, that is. Apparently that teacher of his can secrete a sticky substance, which was enough to keep him place upon being saved. It was irritating to say the least. Is there anything these tentacles can't do?!
But this monster – this teacher – then said something that sparked a new interest. More intriguing than what the man before had said to him once before…
"For me, the option to abandon you doesn't exist. Believe in me and jump whenever you like,"
Those words were enough to explain everything. Sensei – Korosensei – won't let him die on his own accord. In turn Karma cannot kill him – not the monster himself, or the teacher he is. But he figures it's all right in the end. The octopus said it himself; he won't abandon anyone.
The numbing season ended in that moment and cycle came to a stop. This wasn't the season of that bitter temporary comfort. It was a new year. A new year with an irritatingly amusing teacher.
Iyaaaaa thanks for taking some time read this...drabble of sorts. Akabane Karma has a very complex mind to me, and it makes it a little difficult to figure out exactly what he's thinking sometimes. I kinda got the idea listening to "Kisetu wa Tsugitsugi Shindeiku" to which if life happens as the seasons come and go, then everything is just a large cycle in which things happen, but nothing new begins. That made no sense,but hey I tried to make it work;;;
Feel free to leave a review~