Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy
AN: This is my first fanfic ever so please be nice. It's probably terrible and English is not my native language so sorry for any mistakes.
The kind of vampires in the text are the ones in the vampire diaries.
I haven't been feeling well today.
When the bus exploded I was terrified and thought that Jackson was dead. I flipped out completely. I wanted to run to bus, to save him. But someone grabbed me from behind and I felt like ripping the head of the person that was keeping me from going to my loved one that was certainly going to die.
I tried to free myself and looked at the person who was holding me back, it was Matthew. That didn't give me second thoughts about what I wanted to do, and wanting to kill him for holding me back.
Then the bus exploded and I heard screams, I didn't realize at first that I was the one screaming. I only knew when I saw the look that Matthew was giving me and how everyone else was looking at me. But I didn't care, how could I?
In that moment I wanted to die, I wanted to surrender to the pain eating me alive. He was dead, which meant that me life was over.
I didn't expect to see him come out of the smoke, holding a child in his arms. I was in shock, he was alive! I wanted to scream and cry, hug him and kiss him, but I couldn't move. I tried, but it was like I was frozen in time, not moving from the moment of when I thought he was dead.
I was now standing in front of his bed, my arms felt useless and I didn't know what to say.
I kept opening and closing my mouth wanting to say something but no sound came out. I was searching for the appropriate words to say to him. I felt overwhelmed with emotions, everything was heightened, to intense.
"I want you, Jackson" I felt my lips say "I want you".
"April" he said softly looking at me. I was sobbing and it was hard to speak but somehow I managed to. "I haven't been fair to you, I know and I've, I've really hurt you."
"And you're getting married." He said looking at me.
"When that bus exploded and, I thought you were gone" The words got caught in my throat, remembering what had happen was too much. I felt the pain overwhelming me again and started gasping.
"You're getting married" He said looking at me. I stared back at him and said "Unless you can give a reason not to." I prayed to god for him to say anything, but he kept quiet, just looking at me. I was still in shock from the earlier events and I guess so was he.
He was speechless, he lost track of any thought when she said those words to him. 'Am I dreaming' he thought, but then he glanced at her eyes and saw she was waiting for answer, which he didn't have. He watched her, and tried to say something but he was frozen.
She took his silence as an answer and lowered her eyes to her feet. She wanted to run out to a dark and small place where no one would ever find her, curl up in a ball and die.
"No, April look at me" He said trying to calm her down.
I realized that I had started sobbing uncontrollably and tears were pouring down my eyes. I did as I was told, but I couldn't take it anymore. It was just too much, I had been feeling to emotional today. I felt hot and cold at the same time, I was shivering, sobbing and desperately trying to pull myself back together. I wrapped my arms around chest as an attempt to calm down. Nothing worked.
I tried to shut everything off and felt so close to doing it. But I felt something between me and the darkness, a wall. No matter how I tried to overcome it, I always failed. I could try to climb it, tear it down or dig a hole, the wall had no end that could be seen. It was unbreakable
I was thirsty, I had been all day. It was strange because it was not a normal thirst, I ached for something to drink, just couldn't figure out what. But, I haven't drunk all day, so it's probably because of that.
I didn't know anymore what I was doing standing there, I bet I looked stupid. I did feel miserable and lost. I prayed for mercy and forgiveness but something told me I wasn't getting any.
My knees were getting weaker and weaker and I felt like I was going to fall.
"April, calm down. Please." I finally turned my glare to his face and felt a little calmer. He was having a calmative effect on me and I felt like letting go of the pain that had been torturing me.
"Come here, sit" He said tapping the bed and looking at me with a concerned look in his eyes.
I walked over to his side, sat on the bed and rested my head, that was suddenly becoming heavy, in his shoulder
My tears started to subside and my sobs were less frequent.
To my surprise, I started to feel hunger, like I was starving, and clenched my fists trying to distract myself from my throat, that was suddenly becoming swollen, and the hunger.
I felt pain and started to feel dizzy. 'I wonder what's going on' I thought.
My eyelids became heavy and everything was spinning. I lost track of any thought and my vision became black.
felt myself wondering through a land of pain, regret and sorrow.
I was getting really worried about April, I was about to freak out when she stopped moving but then I realize she had felt asleep. She looked so beautiful.
Her hair was covering her face and I tucked a curl behind her ear. She was breathing heavily which meant she was in a deep sleep.
She looked so peaceful, He could feel his heart swell with love just by staring at her.
He couldn't believe he had her in his arms, he had wished for this to happen. The woman he loved was sleeping in his arms and had just told him she rather have him than the paramedic.
Let's face it. He knew the paramedic was a perfect match for her, did he like it? No. Did he do anything about it? No. Why? Because, as much as he hated the paramedic, he loved her and didn't want to see her suffer. He wanted her to be happy. And if that meant he was going to bee miserable, so be it.
But she had just turned everything upside down. She had stormed in and told him she wanted him. Not the perfect paramedic, him.
He was still processing the information. She moved in his arms and he turned his attention back to her.
She was squeezing her eyes shut and had a pained expression on her face. He realized she was having a nightmare.
"April, wake up" He said softly shaking her shoulder. "April, it's just a dream"
"humm..." She mumbled, still half asleep. "What's going on? Jackson?"
"You were having a nightmare." He said looking with a worried look at her.´"Are you ok?"
"Yeah. It wasn't a nightmare" She said still sleepy. "I'm tired, I'm going to see if I find an on-call room. See you later" She said as she got up and left the room.
He watched her leave and sat up straight on the bed. 'She was acting strange' he thought.
He was still thinking about what she had said to him. 'Had she regret saying it? Was that why she run off?' he asked himself. He suddenly remembered Stephanie. What was he going to tell her? Maybe he wouldn't do anything just yet.
He had to make sure that April was speaking the truth before. She could be running back to paramedic right now. He wasn't going to throw away what he had with Stephanie if it was going to end badly.
April was never sure of what she wanted. Today she could just had been scared and hadn't meant what she said.
He loved her, but he didn't want to be the guy that waited forever, because she could never go back to him.
She stormed out of the room and tried to find a free on-call room. She found one and sat on bed.
She buried her face in her hands and desperately tried to put her thoughts in order. She was really shocked about her 'dream'.
It hadn't felt like a dream at all. It felt like... a memory. But it couldn't be a memory, not unless she was dead, which she wasn't. She was very much alive, from what she could tell. She would know if she was dead right?
The dream had been very confusing. Everything was dark and she couldn't understand where she was.
She couldn't remember what had happened in the beginning of the day. It couldn't have happen what she thought it did.
In her dream, she was walking to... the hospital! Yes, she was going to the hospital to help prepare for the storm. Then she couldn't remember anything, it was almost like she had blacked out. Then she was being dragged and she could only spot a shadow.
She felt pain in her neck and it took her a minute to realize that something was biting her.
She gasped and tried to scream, but something was covering her mouth. The next thing she knew something that tasted metallic was going down her throat. She chocked on the liquid and tried to breath.
She was trying to free herself from her attacker but it was useless. It was a waste of energy.
She felt her eyelids became heavy and everything was spinning. She realized she was dying.
'No!' she tried to scream but she couldn't command her muscles anymore. She was in shock.
'This can't be it!' She thought 'I don't want to die'. If this was it, what was the point? What was the point of waking in the morning, work, and go back to sleep. What was the point in life if you got nowhere?
She had almost died when the shooter came to the hospital looking for Shepherd, Richard and Lexie. What was the point of surviving when you were going to die the next day?
Life keeps on going. Why? When bad things happened, like someone's death. People become sad, they mourn and question why it happened. Then, when time has passed, they get back up and start reliving.
Why? What's the point? If everything is going to come crashing down the next day, what's the point?
She was angry and revolted.
This couldn't be her death. It couldn't be how it ended. She realized in that moment what she had given away, all the mistakes that she had done. But one stood out. Jackson. He wasn't a mistake, of course not, but giving up on him was the ultimate mistake.
She had given up the man that she had loved the most for what? She liked Matthew, but she didn't loved him as much as she loved Jackson. Not nearly as much.
She realized she had given up on love, the one thing that she had lived for.
The pain was overwhelming but the loss was unbearable. It was to much, she felt the person letting go of her and she collapsed on the ground.
She only felt pain now. Her brain was shutting down and she was drifting off. She knew it was now, she was going to die, she didn't even know what had happened. It had been too fast.
She felt her head become heavier and started to wander. She was being sucked in into nothing, she couldn't fight it. It was stronger than her and she was exhausted.
Then she was wandering in … emptiness.
She was trying to calm herself down, it couldn't have happened. She could smell death, but she was alive. She was alive... 'It isn't working' she thought. She was starting to panic. She got up and started to pace around the room.
'Breathe April, breathe' She commanded herself.
She started to calm down a little bit and allowed another thoughts in her mind. She wa really getting thirsty and dizzy.
She left the room and went to find a bathroom.
She crossed the hall full of doctors and patients and entered the bathroom.
No one was in there. She went over to the sink and rubbed water on her face. She tried drinking some but it felt disgusting and it only improved her thirst.
She didn't feel refreshed either. Her throat felt like it was burning, she couldn't handle this torture anymore.
She leaned against the wall and closed her eyes. 'What's happening?' she asked herself but didn't got any answer.
'I'm starting to panic again' she thought. 'Calm down, breathe..'
"April? Are you alright? What are you doing here?" She opened her eyes and looked at Alex.
"Yeah, I am." She said composing herself. "Wait, what do you mean 'what am I doing here'?" She looked at him with a confused look.
"This is the men's room" He said looking at her with a weird look.
"What?" She said widening her eyes in shock. She looked behind her and saw urinals. "Oh my god!" She felt herself blush "I'm so sorry" She said running out of the bathroom, leaving an amusing looking Karev.
' I can't believe I didn't notice where I was!' She thought to herself 'I must be really tired'.
I was standing in the hall when I heard someone call my name.
"Hey, April! Wait." I turned around and saw Alex. 'What does he want now?' She thought.
"Do you know were I can find some batteries?" He asked looking at her.
"No, but I'll look for them." She said.
She walked down the hall and tried to remember where they kept some batteries. She remembered a closet were they used to keep supplies. 'I'll go see if I can find some there.' she thought.
Now, there wasn't anyone with her in hallway as she made her way to the closet.
She entered the small room full of supplies and started looking. She didn't liked this room, it looked old and they were in the middle of a storm. She should make it quick.
She searched all the shelves but didn't find any batteries. ' I should go back' She thought.
She was making her way out of the room when she heard a loud noise. ' It's probably a lightning' She ensured herself.
The loud noise was repeated and suddenly everything was crashing down. All the supplies and a cabinet fell on top of her and the ceiling was too. The floor was full of debris and outside the closet it was all probably destroyed too.
She felt pain and tried to get out from under the cabinet, she crawled from under neath it and tried to stand on the debris.
She was going to be bruised, and she didn't understand how she got out from under the cabinet. It was like she had used super-strength.
She tried to open the door but it wouldn't.
She started to kick the door with all the strength she could manage to join. She wanted to get out of this place. Would they find her if she couldn't get out? What if she died? She was scared and just wanted to wake up in her bed and find out it was all a nightmare. But if it was a dream, it seemed she wasn't ready to wake up just yet.
The door gave in and smacked against a wall of debris. She was stuck in here. She walked out of the room as another lighting made the ceiling collapse even more.
The floor began to shake and pieces of wood were falling from the ceiling, she fell and tried to crawl to the wall of debris. A sharpened piece of wood stabbed her and she let out a scream.
It was a big stick that stabbed her in the back right next to the heart. She gasped and desperately tried to take it off.
Experience told her to leave it in but she wasn't exactly in the mood for thinking
She took of the stick and was finally able to breathe. Then she realized that she should be dead. A piece of wood probably just ruptured her lung. How was she breathing. To her surprise the wound started to heal, in seconds, not days. How was that even possible
Wood was still falling, and she tried to protect herself, but the wood was falling on top of her and stabbing her.
She felt pain, to much, and blacked out.