Now for the record, I do like Shirou/Semiramis pairing, but not for this story. And at first glance, you might think the main pairing here is absurd, but I don't think so. I often wondered what would happen if in Apocrypha timeline Amakusa Shirou met Irisviel who looked almost identical to his Master in the Third Holy Grail War. He seemed to be very close with the unnamed Einzbern (I decided to give her a name for this story to show how important she is). And I have read somewhere that he is in truth trying to save humanity at all cost to forgive himself for not being able to save someone. I believe that person is his Master because... who else really? So if her tragic death alone managed to create such a great impact by turning him from a noble and heroic 'saint' into a ruthless villain, she must have been very dear to him.
And here it is. This is my first Fate/ story. Admittedly, I'm not that knowledgeable about the universe and lore, but I am trying my best. My favorite characters are Amakusa Shirou and Karna. I wouldn't lie. At first, it was only because their awesomeness level is far beyond my expectation, but later I come to love their interesting personalities and heartbreaking stories. And before I forget, I would also like to mention that English is not my main language, so I am sorry if I made some mistakes (it would be inevitable haha).
01
1930 Fuyuki's Third Holy Grail War
Similar to the previous iterations of Holy Grail Wars, this latest war brought forth the undeniable ominous atmosphere for everyone involved. The failures of the first and second wars only served to eat away every semblance of confidence they desperately held that this time would be different. At this point, they only wanted this war to end with a wish being granted just to prove that all these tears and bloodshed were not for naught. But it seemed like even this modest hope would still remain as nothing but a cruel fantasy.
In the eve of another World War, one might think that the worldwide conflicts would be the main if not the only focus of the world, and thus made it easier for the Grail War's participants to hold their ritual. Unfortunately, it didn't seem to be that way. Somehow, the news of the event that was supposed to be a secret had spread out not only to the Imperial Army, but also to the Nazis.
The inevitable happened.
The brutal battles quickly spread out all over the Imperial Capital uncontrollably. It was the first and only time in history that advanced Magecrafts and powerful Noble Phantasms clashed against modern war machines like canons and tanks. The result was something that could only be described as nightmare, a horrific but ironically glorious nightmare.
And near the culmination of the war, there were only two Servants left.
One of them was the Einzbern's Ruler-class Servant, Amakusa Shirou Tokisada. His special class aside, he was by no means an outstanding Heroic Spirit. The privilege of the Ruler class admittedly made up for his lack in raw strength, but as a man of great virtue, he considered it dishonorable and unethical to use the Ruler Command Spells to gain advantage over his opponents. And thus, he refused to use them even when it came to a life and death situation as long as the other Servants didn't intentionally do something evil. It was clear to see that he was not even the slightest bit afraid of death.
What allowed him to survive thus far were basically his wisdom, strategy, and patience.
He never involved himself in chaotic three-way and sometimes more battles, and used every opportunity to observe his opponents so he could devise future strategies based on their show of powers. To be more prepared before he decided to engage an enemy Servant in a fight, he always tried to get as much information as possible from them with the Ruler's True Name Discernment ability. Most importantly, he always made sure his Master stayed relatively hidden before he went to battle, and it was surprisingly not because his survival completely relied on the homunculus girl's life.
They both had lost everything. The Nazis had discovered and taken over the Einzbern castle not long after the war began. The only place they could take some much needed rest was this large tree in the middle of a snowy forest that they currently sat under after a fierce duel with the last surviving Saber. They won and thankfully the Saber's Master decided to leave peacefully after her Servant died. Their latest victory was not without a cost though. Ruler was left completely drained and suffered many deep wounds after the fight, but it meant very little to him because he was happy that his Master ended up unhurt.
Even then, he was surprised when he noticed the tears falling down his Master's cheeks as she silently treated the nasty gash on his abdomen.
"Lumina-chan, you know how glad I am that you're able to express your emotions more freely now. But honestly, I've been expecting your sweet smiles after our hard-earned victory... So, why the tears?"
The girl, Luminasviel von Einzbern was the first homunculus he had ever met. She existed for the sole purpose of becoming his Master. At first, he didn't know what to do with her because of her inability to express emotions. But it didn't take him long to see that she merely didn't have any clue on how to show what she felt. It was then that he decided he would treat her as a true human being who deserved to be cherished and respected. And it was inevitable that they became very close to the point that he had become the one reason for her to live, and thus ironically made her willfully embrace the base purpose of her existence.
She also secretly loved the endearment name he always addressed her with, even though she disliked it at first. But at the moment, she didn't even try to pretend to complain as usualt.
"I do nothing wrong. Humans are supposed to cry when they're hurt and when their dear ones got hurt... So why the smile?" She glared cutely at the sometimes irritating but ever so warm smile on his face.
"It is because I couldn't be happier, seeing you unharmed... alive. Yes, I'm wounded, but you know what? I'm willing to bear every pain in the world just to keep you that way."
She made a pause in her work. It was nearly done anyway. Beside, her Servant's spiritual body allowed him to heal faster. She was thinking hard for a moment as if his words were like something that could only be found in a bible. Once she reached a conclusion, she looked right into his eyes with her usual serious expression.
"For the record, I have read enough romance novels to make this valid assumption based on what you just said. So I will ask you this to confirm it. Are you by any chance in love with me, Ruler?"
The secluded place under the tree fell into a complete silence with the girl Master kept her serious stare at her slack-jawed Servant. Her brows furrowed as she tried to analyzed his out-of-character behavior. And she began to get worried when the awkward moment lasted longer than she was comfortable with.
"I am mistaken then. Perhaps my other assumptions make more sense after all. I suppose even though I don't like it, I wouldn't be surprised if Shirou actually saw me as a little sister or worse... a daughter."
And that one 'taboo' word at the end of her statement finally forced the poor Servant's instinct to act.
"NO! Definitely not a daughter!" And he sighed desperately. "Listen, Lumina-chan. You are the most precious person to me in the whole world, and certainly not because I don't know anyone else. But for the time being, that's all I can say about what you mean to me. Trust me, I will be more honest with you when I'm ready. Because you deserve all the good in the world."
Hearing that, she smiled sweetly in relief. He meant the world to her, if it wasn't obvious already. A rejection from him would surely break her beyond repair. She knew he would never do that to her though. They would always be there for each other. But as she thought more about it, her eyes turned glassy again.
"I'm just a homunculus created for this war, though. I will not live long... Isn't it unfair, Ruler?" Her eyes wandered away, seeing nothing in particular. "I wish to live a normal life too. I dream of traveling around the world with you... seeing the breathtaking beauty of nature... meeting nice people along the way... tasting various delicious foods each time we take a break... going to unique festivals too if we come across them. But... is it too selfish of me to ask for those things, Shirou?"
He could only stared at her stunning bittersweet expression in awe. She was just so pure, innocent, and simply beautiful in every way. It made him wonder how such a precious existence could care so deeply for a worthless failure like him.
"Absolutely not. And at this very moment I promise you, Luminasviel von Einzbern. I will win the grail for you, just for you, so you would never again have to worry about yourself. And after that, I will take you to a wonderful journey around the world until you become a master in expressing joy and happiness."
In a pleasant surprise, he suddenly found himself leaning on the tree with her sitting on his lap, her arms around his neck, and her tear-stained face pressed closely against it. There were no words to describe how precious this girl was to him. Somehow, her very presence alone gave him hope. It allowed him to try to forgive himself for the great sin he committed in his past. And that was something that he had never expected.
"Before you ask, I heard this is how humans express their gratitude, fondness, and most importantly... love."
At the end of her confession, she hurriedly hid her blushing face as she felt completely overwhelmed with a strange giddy sense of embarrassment that she had never experienced before.
"Then I will gladly return the gesture, Lumina-chan."
He wrapped his arms around her petite body and rested his cheek on top of her head. Her breathing evened out and she seemed to be close to succumb to a peaceful sleep, until an unexpected question suddenly came to her mind.
"One more question, Shirou. Is it okay for me to have a baby too? With you, of course!"
Almost died in shock and embarrassment, the Ruler-class Servant seriously considered using a sleep spell on his beloved Master. But in the end, he could only sighed with a smile.
"Your wish is my command, my Master. But now, please spare your loyal Servant from any more of your too deep for mere mortals questions, and go to sleep."
"Fine, but I want a baby boy, Ruler. He would look like a male version of me in appearance. But his personality would be like Shirou Mk. II. He would be brave, noble, chivalrous, kind... caring... but often times... silly... just like you..." And finally she fell asleep with a serene smile on her lovely face.
As they held each other intimately under the great tree, surrounded with ethereal snows, they both shared a moment of sacred bliss that lasted throughout the night. It would surely be a grave sin to disrupt them, because the cruel fate had already decided that a tragic end of their tale would befall them the very next day.
/
1986 Middle East expedition
In a remote location somewhere within Iraq territory, a youthful-looking white-haired man woke up from his brief sleep inside an ancient ruin, and accidentally hit his head on one of its pillar. His eyes were wide, but not from the pain, not even the slightest bit. He needed a fresh air to cool down his mind and body, so he decided to finish his work for the day and get out of the ruin. The air in there was too hot that he was forced to discard his shirt, showing off his well-tanned and muscular but full of scars upper body.
Once he was outside, he took a deep breath of cool evening air before giving his mind a rare moment to ponder over the dream he just had.
To be honest, that particular dream was in actuality a bittersweet memory from a long distant past that he had been trying to keep hidden and safe inside the deepest part of his soul. Don't get him wrong, he cherished those memories more than anything. That was why just for this one time, he allowed himself to admit that his nigh impossible quest for humanity's salvation was actually based on how he could never forgive himself for failing the girl in those memories. Not only he was a failure of a Saint, he had also stooped so low as a man by failing to fulfill the promise he made to the one and only woman he ever loved.
He had never shed tears, not during the hell in Shimabara, not even when he held her lifeless but still so majestic form close. Because he reserved all his tears for when he found his true salvation, but ironically, he didn't believe a failure and sinner like him deserved a semblance of salvation. Not to mention, to achieve the ultimate salvation for humanity, there would be no choice for him but to walk on the path of a villain. He didn't mind though. He was willing and ready to bear all the sin, pain, and suffering in the world to create a new, pure world. A world where everyone is happy, everyone is good, and everyone is perfect.
He could never lie to himself though, that he secretly and selfishly still wished that he could see her again, even just once, even just to apologize to her. He knew he would be the most blessed person in the world if the God gave him a second chance. And he would surely become the happiest man ever if she still accepted him. But it was all just a silly fantasy. The only thing left for him was to become the heaven's tool that would eventually be discarded into hell. He was nothing but a mean for humanity to reach salvation as a whole. And he had since long ago completely accepted his role, his fate.
In the end, with a heavy but full of resolve heart, he once again returned the precious memories into their sanctuary before he locked them away probably for the last time. His holy task was calling, and he could do nothing but to obey. Even though so far his years of expedition still held no result, he would not give up. He would never betray his faith. It didn't matter to him that all his life, the said faith had given him nothing but sorrow and despair. Because after all's said and done, without his faith, he would be nothing, a worthless nothing.
A while later, just after he finished packing his equipment and once again donned his priest attire, he was greeted by the old farmer who generously accepted him in his residence for the past eight months.
"Father Shirou! It is almost time for dinner! Your self-proclaimed mother had been shouting at me to bring you home since the sun went down. You know how she is. If I don't get you home in time, I would be forced to sleep with the camels tonight!"
They both chuckled freely at the old man's usual over-dramatic description of his antics with his wife.
"Now now, such an ill thought is very unbecoming of you, Mr Ibrahim. I'm sure 'mother' means well. Perhaps she's only worried that your camels would be sad and lonely without your company." And he let out another chuckle when the old man made a playful scowl.
"You two surely make such a great team in abusing this old camel. Why am I not surprised? We only have daughters, and all of them had left the village to seek better lives in the city. She was so happy since your arrival, you know. She - no, we genuinely consider you as the son we never had."
The living Heroic Spirit was honestly touched. This old man and his wife were the very example of all the good in humanity. The couple were faithful Muslims just like the rest of the villagers, but they treated a priest of the Church like him with the utmost respect and kindness since the beginning. Even till this day, they always refused his insistent offer of money in return for their generous shelter. And all he could do so far in return was teaching them to read and write, along with English language, and they always accepted each lesson with joy and gratitude.
"I don't even know how to express my gratitude, Mr Ibrahim. Honestly, I don't think someone like me even deserves the slightest bit of your kindness."
"What do you mean someone like you? A handsome young man with absurd humbleness? Listen here, boy. You don't need to do anything. But if you insist... I wouldn't mind if you put some good words about me for the old woman."
And once again the two shared a laugh as they made their return to the village.
The village itself was very small and secluded from larger civilizations. All of the villagers were very friendly and polite. They were mostly farmers with some of them also acted as the traders for their goods with the other villages and cities. But what really amazed him was how they were ever so grateful for everything their God bestowed upon them. He still remembered the joyful celebration they held after the electricity finally reached their village five months ago. They lived such simple but fulfilling lives. If only the world was full of people like them, he could just let go of everything and accept the God's judgement for him.
As the two got close to the humble abode they lived in, they saw a familiar old woman waiting at the terrace. Immediately, she ran toward the young man with a worried expression on her wrinkled face once she noticed how exhausted he looked.
"Oh my God! What have the old fool done to you, dear?!"
The old man groaned miserably as he watched his wife frantically fussing over her dear 'son' who could only smile awkwardly in his current position.
"What have I done wrong this time? If you really want me to sleep with the camels that badly just say it already!"
It seemed like that was the wrong thing to say, because the old lady slowly turned her head toward her husband and gave him a death glare.
"Oh, you so sleep with them for the rest of the week! You should have brought one of them with you as a ride for our dear Shirou, so he wouldn't have been this tired."
The bickering might sound rather heated, but Shirou had already known from long ago that it was just one of their strange ways to show the unbreakable bond between the two of them.
"Calm down, ma'am. Mr Ibrahim actually has a good reason behind this. A leisure walk on the way home in a nice evening like this is a good opportunity for him to share his wisdom with me. And trust me, I've learned a lot from him."
Unbeknownst to his wife, the old man gave a proud nod to the priest that made the young man chuckled in amusement.
"Is that so? Alright then. Let's get you two cleaned up. The dinner is ready. And the old man can sleep inside. I feel so bad for the camels though... They would feel so lonely tonight."
This time, the three of them laughed together as they walked into the house.
The dinner time was such a warm occasion. Before they started eating, they made silent prayers in their own respective believes. The meals were modest, but it tasted very good, just like everything Mrs Ibrahim cooked. He almost never had meals together with family, not even with his foster family. However, eating together with this people made him feel like they were family. It was strange. He had never let anyone get too close to him since the end of the third war, not even his foster father. But somehow, this old couple had been stubbornly reaching out their hands to him, trying to draw him close to their warm embrace.
The old lady noticed the faraway look on the young man's eyes and decided to try to get him to open up to them.
"What's the matter, dear? Do you miss your home? Maybe it would make you feel better if you talk about it with us. We would love to know. You've told us about your foster family. Hm... What about a girl? Is there a beautiful young lady waiting for you back home?"
The question made the two males looked up at her in surprise but for different reasons, and her husband couldn't help but to voice his opinion.
"Have you gone senile? Surely someone as handsome and fabulous as our Shirou already has a sweet young lady as his intended!"
And this was where the priest found himself in an awkward situation with the expectant gazes of Mr and Mrs Ibrahim glued on him. He then let out a sigh in slight amusement and decided to be honest, because they deserved no less.
"Actually there had been one, not an intended, but still someone very dear to me... more than anything... the one and only. Even though I could never be with her, I have no intention of finding another. Because I have given myself to her completely and willingly, and I would never regret it."
That was not what the old couple expected at all. And at that moment, both of them could feel the young man's misery even though he tried to hide it.
"That is very sweet of you, dear. But, why couldn't you be with her? I know sometimes it's difficult. Even this old married couple needed to fight hard for our love when we were young, but we never gave up. And I'll tell you that it's all worth it in the end."
The incarnated Heroic Spirit could only gave them a bittersweet smile as he gathered the strength to give an answer.
"She has passed away." That was all he could say without having his heart burst open.
"Oh... I am so sorry, dear. Please, forgive this tactless old woman. I can't even imagine..."
The kind woman couldn't finish her words as she burst into tears. Her husband instinctively drew her into his arms before giving his guest an apologetic nod. And the young man returned it with a smile that was full of assurance.
"Don't be, Mrs Ibrahim. You did nothing wrong. You are only concerned about me, and I am deeply touched. But you don't have to worry. I will manage. Because I still have an important responsibility, and I will not stop until I can fulfill it."
The old couple didn't question about said responsibility because they knew it wasn't in their place to pry. Though they had no doubt that it must be something very noble that could only be fulfilled by this young priest who they already considered as their own son.
"You are strong, my boy, very very strong. I just want you to remember that at the end of the days, your old self-proclaimed mother and father will always welcome you home, wherever you ended up to be."
And here it goes again. This two old persons had once again reminded him why he loved humanity so much.
"Arigatou." He said it with such a heartfelt voice that even took him by surprise.
After dinner, they spent the rest of the peaceful evening in the living room, studying. The old couple continued their lesson under the priest's ever patient guidance. It was such warm occasion for them as they shared a joke every now and then. Until suddenly they were taken by surprise when a strange white dove flew into the house through the opened window.
Shirou could easily tell that it was a Familiar, and it carried a white envelope with it. The creature hovered around him quietly for a moment until he gently took the envelope and let it fly away.
"I never thought anyone would care to send me a letter. This must be important. Please, excuse me."
The old woman gave him a warm smile, unlike her husband who grunted in playful annoyance.
The first thing that caught his attention was the distinct seal on the envelope. He still recognized it very well. It was none other than the Einzbern family's authentic seal. He briefly wondered what they wanted with him after not having contact for decades. It didn't surprise him that they were aware of him being incarnated by the Greater Grail at the end of the third war. In the end, he decided to just see for himself and opened the envelope.
Greetings, Lord Amakusa Shirou Tokisada.
It has been so long since our partnership in the Third Holy Grail War. You brought us closer than ever to the Greater Grail. We would have become the true victor of the war for sure if not for the cursed Nazis' underhanded move. Nevertheless, we still remember and speak highly of your great deeds even till this day. And for that reason, we would like to invite you for some tea to show you our appreciation. Please, visit us anytime you wish to.
Your trusted ally, Jubstacheit von Einzbern.
To say he wasn't conflicted would be a lie. It was clear to him that the Einzberns needed his help, and they seemed to be desperate enough to contact him. He supposed meeting them again would be good for him. They had vast knowledge that could help him in his endeavor, especially about the Third Magic. It had the potential to become a new alliance with mutual benefits. However, he was still unsure. Not because he was afraid that it might be a trap, not even the least bit. As much as he was ashamed to admit it, he knew the one thing he was afraid of was the awakening of old memories at full force once he met them.
Seeing his troubled expression, Mrs Ibrahim worriedly approached him, followed by her not less worried husband.
"Is everything alright, dear? You seemed troubled by the letter..."
He snapped out of his deep musing and gave the old couple a reassuring smile.
"Oh, it's from an old friend of mine. We haven't seen each other for so long, and he asked me to visit him in Germany. I guess I'm just not sure what to expect. Because things have changed, and I'm not who I used to be. There are some memories that are better be left alone."
They seemed to accept his vague but not outright dishonest reply, and gave him understanding smiles.
"You know we trust your judgement, Father Shirou. Still, this old man wishes to give you a different view. It might be wise to face the past, even the most difficult ones, and try to make peace with them. And if we are blessed, we might even find some enlightenment from it."
Mr Ibrahim's words reached deep into his conflicted mind, and slowly shed warm light from within.
"Besides, you have been working too hard lately, dear. As much as I don't want you to leave us, I hope a time away would do good for your weary soul."
Their kind support left him speechless as he stared at them in amazement, and once he regained control over his senses, he gave them a nod of gratitude.
It was then decided that he would take his leave the next day. The old couple insisted that the three of them should sleep together in the living room for his last night in this house, at least until he returned again. He didn't have the heart to make an objection to their silly but genuinely sweet wish. And as expected, they almost didn't get any sleep throughout the night due to the constant jokes and funny bickering. But somehow, the time together managed to give him a much more fulfilling rest than just sleeping alone undisturbed.
At nine in the morning the next day, the priest was finally about to take his leave. The very kind old couple who gave him a shelter for the last eight months tried really hard not to cry in front of him.
"This is it. Let us hope this is not a good bye. Thank you... for everything."
He gave them a deep bow, but the two hurriedly tried to straighten him back. They did appreciate the gesture, but to them it was completely unnecessary. In return though, the old lady gave him a motherly hug.
"Please don't hesitate to bring friends or anyone close to you when you come back again, dear."
And the old man gave him a proud slap on his back.
"And remember, when you return here, you must say 'I'm home!' with a huge grin on your face!"
"Understood. Please take care, both of you. And keep the silly jokes alive."
Finally, the wayward Heroic Spirit turned around, and took his first step toward a new path that would dramatically change the course of fate.
/
He always enjoyed travelings, because in a sense, he'd like to think that he did it for her. By doing this, he tried to blindly convince himself that it was an effort, no matter how futile it was, to realize her dream. Her memory would always live on with him, so he would take it upon himself to live his life for her too. Often times, he even pathetically pretended that she was there by his side as long as he didn't try to have a look.
This journey from a remote village in Iraq to the secluded castle on top of a mountain range in Germany was no different. He enjoyed the scenery of the vast desert as he rode on an old bus, the buzzing city as he got to the airport, the glamorous sky as he flew on a plane, and the wondrous snow-covered forest as he climbed the mountain. Along the way, he met nice people and ate delicious foods too. She would've been so happy! Unfortunately, he didn't come across any festivals. He knew she wouldn't have complained though, because as long as they stayed together, nothing else mattered.
He didn't have any problems in adjusting to the drastic change of climate from the hot desert to the cold snowy mountains. And before long, he finally arrived at the outskirt of the forest where the grandiose Einzbern castle stood. The gate was already opened, so he continued on without breaking a step.
They seemed to have been aware of his arrival, and already prepared an unnecessarily formal welcome for him that made him raise an eyebrow. Two rows of servants and staffs stood meticulously on each sides of the main pathway to the castle that he was currently facing. And at the end of the path, in front of the grand front doors of the castle, stood Jubstacheit von Einzbern himself in his never-changing strict posture.
He then turned his gaze toward the petite figure standing awkwardly by the Einzbern leader's right. And he, Amakusa Shirou Tokisada, the Ruler-class Servant of the Third Holy Grail War, completely lost himself. He fell to his knees as soon as he had a good look at her. And tears, the very first he had ever shed, all he had saved all his life for when he finally found his salvation, fell uncontrollably down his face.
There is nothing more unpredictable than fate. The question is, would this time it ended up to be unpredictably cruel again just like all he had experienced in his past, or maybe unpredictably... generous?
So, how is it? I hope it's enjoyable. Thank you for reading!