I know I know it took me forever and a day to update this. Sorry. It's called life and deployment number 4 for my husband. Hopefully it's worth the wait. I will be updating this chapter by chapter over the next week or so, just FYI.

I have received some requests to do a fic in which Aang and Katara engage in certain 'orgy' relations with the twins in this fic. While I appreciate the review and the plot bunny, I'm sorry that is just not in keeping with the couple's character and I cannot in good conscience do this.

However I will consider this plot bunny for perhaps another character or for something more minor in this story. Hint Hint. J

For the purposes of this story, June is now a 'Madame.' If you don't know what a 'Madame' is, you probably shouldn't be reading this.

Aang hooks up with twins who give him some advice, Sokka gets drunk and starts a bar fight, Uncle does Keg stands, and our favorite Avatar Girls Mud Wrestle. Hilarious surprise at the end concerning Uncle.

Borrowed a snipet from the HANGOVER for the start of the story.

Rated M for sexual humor, but nothing too terribly raunchy.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own ATLA. Further legal mumbo jumbo, please don't sue me etc., etc., blah blah blah and more etc.

Chapter 1 Madame June

"Tonight we celebrate manliness, friendship and fun! But mostly manliness!" Sokka declared as they soared over the Earth Kingdom on Appa.

"That's great Sokka," said Zuko, who had Appa's reigns, "but can we cut the restraints off Aang? It's not like your sister's around anymore."

"Sure, we can!" Sokka declared, and he removed a knife from his boot and began to saw at the fishing net "After all, I was a lone wolf in the Southern Water Tribe and then along came Aang, and I said, what is this? Another wolf to howl at the moon with? And so Aang and I were two wolves, looking for bending teachers and cactus juice…Then, along came Zuko and we had a three man wolf pack!"

"Ugg!" Aang and Zuko groaned in unison. Sokka liked to coin the term 'three man wolf pack' for their little gang when the women weren't around. Zuko and Aang were not too fond of it; it reminded them too much of a bad play they once saw.

"Well we look like a three man wolf pack, all dressed in Water Tribe furs," Sokka reasoned, which they'd dawned in order to help disguise their identity. Since the war, people had taken to mauling them upon recognition. The fandom was great but could be tedious at times. Aang had even grown out his hair in order to mask his arrow and look more like one of the men of Katara's tribe.

"AND TONIGHT WE TAKE OUR PACK TO A NEW LEVEL OF DEBAUCHERY!" Sokka stood up suddenly, and the three of them heard Appa roar as if to say "sit down stupid."

Aang reached up and pulled him into the saddle. Sokka reluctantly complied.

"Easy for you, you're not the married guy of the group," said Zuko

"Hey what Mai doesn't know…"

"Can still get me pelted with knives!" Zuko yelled over his shoulder. "Sokka, it's different when you're married. You wouldn't know..."

"Well I would know if Sukki would just..just marry me already!" he sulked.

"Yea I wondered how that proposal went," Aang said, "but you never offered anything."

"There was nothing to tell," Sokka whined. "Sukki won't marry me right now. She's 'into her career.' She said: 'Sokka, I love you but I just can't leave the girls right now…' and some more stuff but I kind of stopped listening after that."

"Ugg, I hate it when chicks say stuff like that!" Zuko groaned. "Mai wanted to study political science for a year before she'd marry me. I told her you're gonna be freaking Fire Lady. No one cares if you've got a degree. Then she said 'but I care.' I had to wait a whole year!"

"Katara never said anything like that to me."

Sokka wacked Aang with his boomerang. "That's because you WERE her career, Dum Dum. All she ever wanted to do was make you into a fully realized Avatar."

"So, how much futher?" Aang changed the subject.

Zuko tugged at the reins. "Shouldn't be long now."

Finally Aang felt Appa land, and Sokka removed his blindfold. They were outside a five story grand pagoda a few miles away from Ba Sing Se. In the distance Aang cited the city's outer wall. Hundreds of lanterns hung from the floors, glowing in the twilight. Paths of pale gray cobblestone and lanterns lead the way to a staircase which fed into the grand building and wrap around porch. Beautiful women dressed in shades of green and brown silk milled about, beckoning the visitors with fans and fanfare. Music and laughter swirled about the establishment. A sign was posted: "Dancing Dragon Club."

"A brothel?!" Aang chortled, thinking only of how Katara would blood bend him if she ever found out.

"Gentleman's club!" Sokka corrected, hanging a finger in the air. "There IS a difference!"

"And Hotel" Zuko. "You see, Madame …."

The sound of breaking glass interrupted Zuko, and the gang looked up to see one of the windows busted out. A man burst through the disheveled glass and into the courtyard, closely followed by a woman with long black hair and a whip.

She pounced on him like a moose lion and picked him up by the collar. "No one mishandles my girls Jiro! Now get out of here! And if I ever see you back, I'll feed you to Nyla!" She shoved the man against the pathway, hard, and he ran away screaming in fear.

June got up and adjusted her hair and clothing. She'd traded in her bounty hunter's leather garb for an elegant brown and green sequin dress with long slits up the side. Brown silk gloves complemented the outfit and neatly fixed the whip at her side. She looked up, caught sight of Appa, and smiled. "Jun Li!" she cried toward the porch, never taking her eyes from them, "come here please," A girl in a green silk kimono came running up beside June and together they approached the Avatar and his crew.

"If it isn't my old friends Firelord Furious, Avatar Aang, and Captain Boomerang. To what do I owe this great pleasure?" June and company bowed with exaggerated reverence.

"A bachelor party and a room for the night," Zuko explained, handing her a small bag of coins.

She opened up the sack and smiled at the reflection of gold. "Consider yourselves paid up for the night! I assume you want discrepancy?" June questioned.

"Please. Oh yeah, that reminds me, Aang, put on your headband,"Sokka instructed.

Aang quickly affixed a water tribe blue band over his arrow.

"Whatever you want, it's yours," June bowed again. "Jun Li, stable the bison out back where no one can see him. I can get you guys the presidential suite if you give me a little time to get it ready."

The three men acquiesced and followed their hostess past the beautiful giggling women on the porch. June placed a warning finger against her lips as she eyed her employees.

The club had to have at least five hundred tables; some were on balconies overlooking the main floor. Everything was done entirely in wood. There were two side bars from which ladies dressed as Kyoshi Warriors ferried drinks and other refreshments balanced on metal fan shaped trays. Two grand staircases hugged the edges of a stage, leading to the upper four floors where the rooms were. The current floor show presented a sample of Kyoshi Warrior fan movements, though these warriors were much more scantily clad than the originals.

Zuko let out a low whistle. "It looks like you've been busy, June."

"It's Madame June now," she corrected gently, "after the war the bounty hunter gig just wasn't paying like it used to…so I gathered up some entrepreneurial widowed ladies and started my own gentleman's club. Nyla's my best bouncer. Of course I kept the whip for the ones who don't pay…" she smiled suggestively, "and for the ones who do."

At length they reached a private booth to the rear of her club and she ushered them into its oval green velvet cushions. "At any rate, what are you boys into tonight?"

"Everything! Bring on the Sukkis!" Sokka hollered.

"I'll send over a few of my best Warriors," she turned to Zuko, "and what about you almighty Firelord?"

Zuko smiled, "I'll just enjoy the floorshow, thanks."

June looked over at Aang.

Aang blushed…. "Well uhh, I don't know…

"Oh I know your taste Avatar." June purred. "Don't worry, I've got the most beautiful Water Tribe girls in the world!" June turned and shouted into the crowd: "Kila! Mila! Get over here!"

Across the room, two girls with bright blue eyes and braided hair looked up, giggling idiotically. They both were dressed in Water Tribe blue…well sort of. Their outfits were far skimpier than anything he'd ever seen Katara wear, showing their legs and other assets. They were identical twins.

They skipped over, holding hands and laughing. "Kila, Mila, please meet the Avatar," said June, looking pleased with herself when she saw Aang's reaction. "Now it's his bachelor party and we've been paid in advance with gold so show him a good time and do whatever he asks."

"The Avatar!" They both squealed in unison "Ahhh!"

"Shh ladies, show some tact" June crooned, slapping her hands over their mouths. "We want him to have a good time, not get mauled. You can brag later after the night is over."

"Ok June!"

"Yea hush hush! That's us!"

They both looked at each other again "Ahhh!" they squealed and rushed to Aang's side. June politely excused herself, the men assumed to see to their presidential suite and the rest of the club's affairs.

"So what are you into?" said one, taking him by the arm.

"Yea what are you into?" the other asked, running a hand through his hair

. "Umm…" Aang said uncomfortably…."I uhh…" He looked out of the corner of his eye at his friends. Sokka was oblivious and trying to woo a couple of Kyoshi Waitresses, but Zuko was laughing like mad at Aang's predicament, pounding the table with his fist.

"We'll do anything!" Mila squealed

"Yea anything!" the other finished. "There's a room, we could all go upstairs and..you know…."

Mila giggled.

"What?" Aang looked at Mila, clueless.

"Oh he's innocent! Sooo Adorable!" Mila crooned.

"I'll tell him Mila." Kila whispered something into Aang's ear.

Aang's eyes grew wide and he turned every shade of red. "Ladies, that's very….uh generous….But I'm saving myself for my fiancée…"

"OHHH!" the twins purred with exaggerated disappointment.

"So sad for us Mila!

"But good for her! Does she know how lucky she is?" Kila said, dreamily admiring him.

"You have to at least let us kiss you!"

"And we could give you some tips, you know, if you haven't ever…." They were both giggling again.

Aang smiled. He could use some advice. He was about to be married in less than a few days, and despite all of his desire for Katara, he knew practically nothing about how to make love to a woman. Who better to give him advice than ladies who did this sort of thing for a living. "How about a ride on Appa?" Aang suggested, "Maybe we can talk there?"

"Oh we'd love it!" they squealed in unison and the three of them got up from the table. Aang looked over his shoulder at his two boys. Sokka was glaring at him a little but Zuko smiled in approval, happy that he was finally starting to loosen up.

# # # # #

"Can you believe it?" Sokka growled. "He's cheating on my sister!

"Sokka, don't you think that's a little hypocritical?" By now Sokka was surrounded by three Kyoshi waitresses. Two were hanging on his arms while the other was pulling at his boomerang, which mean the actual boomerang as well as a metaphor."You DID promise me you wouldn't act like an overprotective freak tonight!"

"Oh don't worry Honey," crooned one of the waitresses, working her way onto Sokka's lap, "I'll put him in a better mood."

"How about some drinks?" asked the other two waitresses. "We'll be back!" They sauntered down to the bar.

Zucko looked at his friend. "Sokka ,this is Aang we're talking about. They probably just went for a ride on Appa."

"Yea, you're probably right," Sokka muttered, "I guess I am kind of overprotective."

"It's Ok," Zuko said, finishing his drink," just kind of hard for me to identify, what with my sister being a sociopath and all…"

The men shared a hearty laugh. It was intermission between shows and the performers were roaming the floor, greeting the patrons. "I could play wingman for you," Sokka suggested, "you know for old time's sake, just to see if you still got it?"

Zuko shook his head at his friend and smiled as he surveyed the floor. Lots of pretty girls were roaming around, and he thought back to the days of hiding in the Earth Kingdom with his Uncle, who kept encouraging him to date.

Suddenly there was a commotion down below and patrons began hollering: "Chug! Chug Chug!" Money changed hands between Kyoshi Waitresses and customers who were congregating a table where an older man was quickly swallowing massive quantities of beer; a younger man was doing the same thing to the left of him.

Sokka and Zuko looked at each other. They rushed down to the commotion, pushing the crowd aside.

Zuko gasped "UNCLE!"