Chapter 1: Something that Changes Us

Hi guys, so I've had the idea to write a fanfiction like this for a while now and i'm actually really nervous to post it because it's a little different to normal fanfics you may read or what I write anyway. So, I hope you enjoy it and please don't be to mad at me you all know my feelings about the ep that this stars. Love you all,

Freya

xxx

Fire. Fire burning everywhere. The smell of smoke suffocating my senses as I thought of him. Smoke. Thick and black seeping into the depths of my lungs as I watched it burn. The building. A six floor tall apartment block tall enough to take us all out.

He ran in, it was his job to do so, but he ran in. Adrenaline pumping. Hand clenched around his haligan. Crack. They're in as the door swung open. Searching the room for survivors, people that had always needed saving but never knew how badly. Victims trickling out of the building that was threading to collapse. Then a cry. A mother wanting nothing more than for her child to be safe. He made a decision. Risking his life for the child would keep his father-like mindset in tact. Sweeping. He was the only one left in the building now and he knew it - no one to bail out with, just him and a baby. Running. He could see the doorway now. He had overcome all firefightingly possible and now he was running for the home run. The pitch was there he just had to make it. Pain. What the hell happened? Why isn't he out now? Oh god, baby no - where are you? Screaming. They're running in to get him; it's times like this when I wish that he wasn't a firefighter. What are they doing? Is that? 'Matt!'I call as I serge towards him, my arms outstretched to catch him as the view of his SCBA mask comes to my attention. Blood. Everywhere. He hands hold out the baby to give to me just in time before his legs buckle and he collapses to the floor. I can't give the other paramedic the baby quick enough. Falling to my knees I fight to pull the mask off him. He's already out, passed out from the trauma and blood loss is my guess. The rest of the firehouse gather him and lift him onto the gurney. The Ambo was an eternity away and as soon as we got him in there he started to seize. My heart was pumping as Kelly and I fought to keep him still so I could administer the drugs I needed to to try and keep him alive. Tears. They came thick and fast for both me and his friend. I couldn't see. I couldn't hear. It was just him. Him laying there, in front of me, and I couldn't do anything.

The hospital staff took him before I could even kiss him and now as I wait here for the results I'm loosing my mind. He's my world and I can't loose him. After everything we've been through he can't go out like this. I know people say that you only have a certain amount of road but he can't go. I wont allow it. He can't. He just can't. If really this is the end of the road for him I don't even know how I'll move on. Gabby, don't think about that, not now, not ever.

The nurse is walking towards me. I can feel my heartbeat quicken, not for a good reason. The look on her face isn't positive. Crap, this can't be happening. Is this dream ever going to end? If so, please can I wake up. I'm praying to the gods of sleep or whatever because I'm not going through this. 1,2,3 back in the room? Shit, it didn't work… It's bad, I can't listen - I won't listen.

I can't listen to it anymore. I'm jogging down the sterile white corridor to the OR door. I'm standing there, my eyes closed, trying to summon every molecule of courage to look round and see him. My love. My life. The better half of me. Come on Gabby, you can do this. Take a deep breath then… I did it and now I regret everything. There was blood everywhere. Doctors. Doctors everywhere. Something isn't right, what's going on? Paddles. Oh god. The tears are coming again. Shock one. Nothing. Recharge. Matt wake up! Keep fighting, you can't leave us! Shock 2. Nothing again. 'Baby don't do this to me.'I manage to whisper. My hands are over my mouth and I know that the rest of the house is watching me, but I don't care. Shock 3. Flat line. NO! Matt don't do this to us, we need you here. 81 needs you, we all do.

A doctor looks up from him and meets me in the eye. He shakes his head. The tears stop, my eyes fixed on him. I fall. My legs collapsing as the weight of what really just happened hit me like a tonne of bricks. Death. He was gone. The one part of me that never continued to amaze me. The one person that was kind, and loving and all the things you looked for in a person. We had our whole life ahead of us. We we're going to get married; have a family - all that wiped out in an instant. My heart still believes that he'll wake up and everything will be okay; my brain is telling me that he's gone. The doctors did everything they could but now, there was nothing they could do.

They fought with everything they had and lost. It was like fighting a war. Sometimes you win, other times you loose. But from being a paramedic for god knows how many years, I've learned one thing, you can fight to the ends of the earth to save someone. But in the end, it all comes down to one thing - Medicine.

Ahhhh, so that's the first chapter. Please don't be mad at me because I really think that you will like what's to come. All i'm going to say it that it may mess with your head a little Muhahaha. I know some of you read my fic because your Jesse fans but stay here because you will love what I'm going to do with the story (by this I mean its not 100% Gabby!) I hope you all enjoyed! Please leave a review so I can see what you think about this new writing style of mine and what you think of the story so far! Thank you for reading - Freya xxx