First music based fic! This one is just a one shot that I wanted to write. It is inspired by Billy Talent's nothing to Lose. I am still trying to finish the chapter for Letters From awesome me, for those who read that. I picked a bad topic and can't finish it. I am trying. Well here we go.
Crap. It was 6 am, Monday morning. Matthew laid in bed, listening to the electronic beeping of his alarm clock for a minute. He didn't want to get up, not today. Not any day anymore. His thoughts were interrupted by his annoying twin bursting into the room.
"Hey Mattie! Come on we have to get up! Why are you still in bed?" Alfred stared quizzically at him while he lie in the dark.
"OK Al, I will be up in a minute. " Once Alfred left, Matthew got up, put on a outfit and went down stairs. No once noticed when he entered the kitchen. He ate microwave pancakes and left for the bus.
He stared out the bus window, thinking about what life would be like if he didn't live in boring old Ohio. Maybe something new would happen, maybe he would have friends. The only person who noticed he existed was the person he sat with on the bus, and his brother, sometimes.
Matthew heard a voice and turned to see that Gilbert had boarded the bus.
"What was that Gilbert?" The albino grinned apologetically at him.
"I am going to sit in the back today, is that OK?" Matthew nodded. Now he had no friends. He watched the boy disappear into the mob of students boarding the bus. Gilbert probably didn't even like sitting with him, probably felt lonely because Matthew didn't talk to him very much.
Matthew sighed and looked back out the window. The houses were all similar, the trees all the same and all the mailboxes identical. All rushed by las the bus drove past them. It reminded Matthew of his own life. Each the same, a blur of being forgotten and alone.
When the bus pulled up at the high school, Matthew was the last one to get off the bus and the driver didn't say "Have a nice day" to him like he did to the rest of the kids, like he was a ghost, or not even there.
The teacher always called roll call in the morning during first period. She called names in alphabetical order, but when she got down to the last few letters, she skipped him.
"Feliciano Vargas?"
"Here!"
Lovino Vargas?"
"Yeah."
Edwaurd Von Bock?"
"Yes, I am here!"
"Tino Väinämöinen?"
"Present!"
"Yao Wang?"
"Here!"
"Vash Zwingli"
"Here!"
Matthew raised his hand to tell the teacher, but she didn't notice his hand. No one said anything about it either. He let his hand fall back on the desk. The period went by, then the next one.
At his locker Matthew was confronted by Ivan Braginski, the one boy who noticed him at school.
"Hello you. How was class, good, da?" Matthew didn't say a word. "You must have something stuck in your throat because didn't respond! I will help and get that out." Before Matthew could say anything, the tall boy struck him hard in the back. It sent Matthew flying across the hall and he crashed into the opposing wall. Ivan laugh harshly
"I hope that help!" He walked away leaving Matthew on the floor. Matthew's glasses had broke and when he crashed, his books had flown all over the hallway, which was now flooded with students. He stumbled around to collect his things and no one even noticed when he tripped over their feet.
In his next class, which was science, Matthew was partnered up with Gilbert Beilschmidt, the boy from the bus.
"Hey! What happened to your glasses?" Matthew shuffled his cracked glasses around on his nose.
"I tripped, that's all." The whole rest of the period, neither of them talked to each other. When science was over, Matthew got his bag lunch from his locker and went to the bathroom.
There he locked himself in a stall and ate by himself. He did this everyday, all by himself. No one knew and no one even noticed he wasn't at lunch. It wasn't like anyone wanted to sit with him anyway. He hid because Ivan always steals things from him and beats him up. It was just safer here. He finished his sandwich and got up and went over to a sink. He stared at himself in the mirror. He saw himself.
"At least I really exist." Matthew said to himself, laughing bitterly.
After lunch, he had more classes, all which he was ignored, forgotten, and left out. He was used to it but each day, it wore away at him. At the end of day he had study hall. Matthew got out his notebook, and wrote down all his troubles.
This is what the guidance teacher had told him to do. After three weeks of doing it, Matthew had filled 100 pages. The teachers always told him that it was just a phase, that he will get over it and find some friends. He had hope when they first told him that, freshmen year.
Now he was a Junior, one year before he would graduate, and he hadn't been invited to any parties, hadn't made any friends and haven't been in the year book once. What was the point, he thought to himself. Matthew got up and went back his locker. He left all his books there and left school.
Around him he saw everyone, and no one saw him. Everyone was hanging out with their friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, whoever. No one even knew his name, not Ivan, Not Gilbert, not even the teachers. He walked home, alone. There was nothing to gain by using the bus, so he walked home, he always did. Matthew got home and went straight to his room. He stared at him self in the mirror, his blonde hair, violet eyes, and cracked glasses.
"Well there isn't anything to lose, I am alone."
He walked over to the window and jumped.