Song: It's About Time by Barcelona with the exception of changing "she" to "he" in some places..
Note: None of the characters belong to me! All Mama Cp and RIB.
Julian Larson lies comatose in his hospital bed. Trapped in the hell that he's come to know as his memories. He can't move, he can't make them stop. And he just wants it to stop...
One more day down these stairs
his room is cold now and it hurts like hell
He holds tight, he stares
It's almost over and it's running through his head
They don't know me, they don't know more than I show
Julian doesn't remember that night well. Mainly because he doesn't want to. He remembers going to tell Logan goodbye. He remembers failing. Falling into Derek, looking for support. Just this once. He wasn't strong enough to do this, and God was he so stupid to think he was...
Julian knew that just because he didn't say goodbye to Logan didn't mean he wasn't leaving. He was leaving. He was leaving them all behind. An even break. Right? Jules looked up as he and Derek reached the foyer. The athletic boy grabbed the suitcase as he grabbed his travel bag. Before he knew it, he was halfway to the door. Almost to freedom.
Once they had reached the door, Derek looked to the young actor again to confirm he really wanted to leave. The tears won't stop falling, and he thinks Julian stopped trying a long time ago. Inwardly, Julian was cursing himself, to just get his shit together already and that he was an actor and he'd be damned if he couldn't do this one thing right!
He's walking up to him so slowly
It's about time, it's about time to fly away, but wait
This one is different cause he's lonely
Fold your wings, you'll need them one more day
Those concert tickets he gave Logan way back when. "Had those for eight weeks." Julian remembered telling Derek. He had. Oh, had he. He had been stupid enough to think that he'd have the courage to ask Logan to go with him.
That maybe Logan would want to go with him. That maybe even though Logan was hung up on that Anderson guy that he'd go to the concert with him. And show him that-how did he put it? He was a human being. Instead, he gave his advice to Logan. He needed it more. Julian didn't have a snowballs shot in hell with the green eyed boy. It was better this way.
At least that's what he told himself as he handed over the tickets. That's what he told himself as the words he'd said to Logan before he'd left bounced around his head.
"You might actually properly fall in love and vice versa!"
That had been the plan, but the plan was in Logans hands now.
One more smile, one more bed
His eyes are dark now and they hurt like hell
he's so still, he's dead
He knows it's over, he holds her head and says
"They can't love me, they can't love what I don't show"
Confessing. He remembers telling Logan that he loved him. Every last detail, in perfect memory. And Julian hated it.
He was always so weak when it came to Logan. Why couldn't he be strong for once?
Explosions. Fire. They black out his vision. Then he remembers running with Logan. And the staircase. Best friend, or guy you're in love with? Logan was so conflicted. And that's why Julian had to pick for him. He'd pick Kurt anyway, he was sure of it. But they didn't have that kind of time. Julian knew that Logan would never love him anyways. Logan wouldn't miss him. He's miss Kurt. You can always find a new best friend. You can't find the one again. So he pushed Kurt into Logans arms. Kind of like how he pushed Blaine into his arms last year.
He'd do anything for Logan, wouldn't he?
He's walking up to him so slowly
It's about time, it's about time to fly away, but wait
this one is different because he's lonely
Fold your wings, you'll need them more
He remembered making the choice that he was going to die in peace. Not in hell personified. He remembered taking Adams prone form across his shoulders, and then the feeling of flying. Except he wasn't flying, he didn't have wings.
His last delirious thought was that maybe he was flying. Just with a more permanent destination.
There's been many times when I've drowned you with these perfect lines
And you've heard me say that I can cure you
this morning I woke up with this overwhelming fear of love
I don't know if I can resurrect you
Some of Julians latest memories are of Logan. Well, not Logan. Just his voice. Begging him to open his eyes.
He didn't understand that it was better this way. Logan could be happy this way; if Julian left.
That white light that everyone said they see when they die never came. Just the sensation of flying. Maybe he was an angel now.
I'm walking up to you so slowly
it's about time, it's about time to fly away, but wait
I swear it's different cause I'm lonely
Fold your wings, you'll need them one more day.