Warnings: Rated T for sexual humor.
Disclaimer: I own nothing recognizable, I claim no copyrights and earn nothing except for entertainment. I'm grateful for TWD and HP creators for allowing fans to play with their creations. I write for fun, nothing more.
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Hospital Wing:
Michonne, Poppy, and Merle
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'A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion' —George Orwell
"Cat gotcha tongue, my Black Jewel?— Ow! Merlin's beard, woman... so ya wanna play rough, eh? My, oh, my... a lioness in bed. Can't say I'm surprised. Must getcha boyfriend hot and ready ta grab ya by the hips and ram his—"
"Mr. Dixon, this is your second warning. Another and you're out of here," Madam Pomfrey shooed the tall seventh-year away from the bandaged wrapped fifth-year girl trapped in the hospital bed. Another quidditch player making their routine trip to a hospital bed, unfortunately. "I won't tell you again."
"You wanna talk about pushin' boundaries?" Merle gasped in mock outrage and shoved his hands into the pockets of black patchwork trousers. Visible sewn seams were odd additions to the school regulated attire.
Madam Pomfrey rolled her eyes at him.
"What about me," he drawled and ran a hand over the scruff on his chin, "I was over here by my lonesome-"
Michonne snorted at the excessive innocent nature Merle Dixon claimed to be.
"-Mindin' my own. Potion experts have lots of work, ya know. I was only puttin' away a new batch of Peppers, like ya told me," he gestured toward the closed cabinets located at the far side of the pristine infirmary, "Bendin' over at the waist ta push 'em behind the old batch. Gotta rotate the goods, I always said," his hips twitched as he thrusted into the stale hospital air.
"Mr. Dixon!"
"Anyhow, when I was comin' outta the cabinet I saw her lyin' there. Legs spread, mhm, my Nubian princess was waitin' for a lil' somethin'. She was eye ballin' me real good, Poppy."
"Out! You get out now," Madame Pomfrey pointed a finger at Merle.
In return he raised his hands up in defeat.
"I've warned you repeatedly to address me properly. Won't stand for this... disrespectful... I told Albus..."
Her mumblings quieted as she walked toward her sanctuary. The small desk with her title and name on a silver placard. Madam P. Pomfrey, Matron of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
After years of various apprenticeships all over Great Britain, she settled at Hogwarts. First, Potter and Black, now Dixon and Blake. Retirement has long called her name...
*Merle is quite cringe-worthy, lol.
*Peppers is Merle's way of saying Pepperup Potion, or Pepper-Up Potion.
*Michonne is a beater on her quidditch team. She has a hard swing and if she had a katana, she'd be just as badass.
*Merle being a potion expert. Because of his expertise in pills and drugs, I figured it could translate into Merle being talented at potion work. Dumbledore thought it would positively influence Merle to put his talent to good use and re-stock common potions for the school's hospital. Dumbledore is still unsure if this was a brilliant idea. Madam Pomfrey thinks Merle and Dumbledore are both insane.
*Dixon and Blake, being Merle and The Governor. A crazy duo of seventh years that love to bully everyone.
*Merle's sewn trousers. The Dixon family is not an old, rich pureblood family. A gambling father turned their school funds into thin air. After losing their mother when their house burned to ashes, Merle and Daryl had to take care of themselves and repair instead of replace was a statement they lived by wholeheartedly.
*Poppy is sensitive about her achievements and demands respect. She's earned it, dammit! If only she could convince Dumbledore to assign Merle to be Snape's student aid, then her life would be peachy keen.
Thank you for reading, please review.