I own nothing! TBBT is the property of its creators, network, and writers. I can only dream...
Knock, knock, knock.
"Penny."
Knock, knock, knock.
"Penny."
Knock, knock, knock.
"Penny."
Sheldon Cooper waits impatiently as Penny opens the door to her apartment. Her messy blonde hair the epitome of sex-hair, the gorgeous 26 year old leaned against the door frame.
"What's up, chicken butt?" She asked, smiling to herself.
"Penny, I have to ask a favor of you."
"What is it, Sheldon?"
"May I come in?"
"Sure." She opens the door and follows him to the couch, where he sits without hesitation.
"Uh, Sheldon… have you found you spot that easily?"
"No. But right now, comfort eludes me to the severity that where I sit no longer matters." He looks down into his hands, a rare sign of vulnerability from the gifted scientist.
"Sheldon, what's the matter, sweetie?" She sits down next to him and grabs one of his hands. To her surprise, he does not pull away.
"It's Amy." He hesitates.
"What about Amy, Sheldon?" She asks.
"Well, I don't know what to do about our relationship. The parameters of our contract have been breached. She touched me where no one has ever touched me and I have never felt so alive and exhilarated in my life."
"Sheldon, did you guys have… uh, coitus?" she braces herself for his answer.
"No! Of course not... But I think I want to."
Silence looms as she takes in the massiveness of his proclamation.
"Shelly, if that's what you want to do… do it. She loves you."
"I love her too."
"Wow! I never thought I'd hear you say that. "
"Penny, while I may be stingy with my affection and compliments, my feelings for Amy are evident in the evolution of my relationship. Five years ago, I wouldn't be here unsolicited or even have a girlfriend for that matter. Amy is the single culmination of the evolution of my emotional maturity. I love her as much I love science. But these feelings… these yearnings… they are taking over my every thought. I'm obsessed with being with Amy."
"You asked about a favor?"
"Teach me how to love."
So, where do we start?" Penny asks, sitting down on Sheldon's couch.
"Well, first of all with a request that you remove yourself from my spot." Sheldon responds stiffly.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah." She scoots over to the next cushion and crosses her legs.
"Okay. To begin, I have decided to approach this as a social experiment with which I will study and utilize the results to further my intimacy with Amy."
"…Okay. What do I have to do?"
"Kiss me."
"What? No, that is not what I signed up for." She stands.
"Well, it's obviously not my idea of a party either. But it's a crucial element of building a physical relationship."
"Won't that be cheating on Amy?"
"To lesser beings, yes. However, since Amy and I have a union of the mind with limited physical contact, it would not be cheating. Cheating can only occur when a spouse is doing what he does or should be doing with his spouse with someone else. Amy has no expectation of kissing; therefore kissing you is not cheating."
"That's some wackadoodle logic, Sheldon."
"But true nonetheless."
She sighs and looks into his blue puppy dog eyes. She stands and steps up onto her tip-toes. Gently, she kisses Sheldon's left cheek, then his right. When he closes his eyes in response, she kisses his eyelids and then his neck. Sheldon sighs and lets out a loud gulp.
"Fascinating." He says, and then smiles widely. "Again."