Us2p!Uk
I would like to acknowledge my favourite stalker MissBliss8527, she is a terrific 2p!England rper and helped give me this idea in our rping emails.
America decides to send 2p!England to a psychologist but due to lack of trust accompanies him.
Session 1
America was no stranger to insanity, he dealt with it in the form of politicians daily and he attended world meetings, he could handle insane. Hell America was probably insane himself. What he couldn't handle was psychotic, which 2p!England was the very essence of. The two should technically be soul mates 2p!England loved to cook and America loved to eat. America loved to be the centre of attention and 2p!England loved to lovey-dovey especially with the American. But despite that compatibility America and the 2p had a rather odd relationship filled with… insanity. 2p!England loved to cook people and America didn't like to eat them. 2p!Enland showed affection by cooking special cupcakes and his affection could be a little over the top and possessive and if there was one thing America liked more than England food it was freedom… and non-cannibalism…
America often tried to confront the 2p about his 'problems' but the 2p simply said he had 'odd tastes' which often led to the argument of the line between 'odd tastes' and 'psychotic tendencies'. America was also growing tired of having to warn people not to eat the cupcakes and telling the horror stories of the ingredients or what they did and people not believing him or calling him 'paranoid' and saying that the cupcakes were fine. And then dying because the American was right.
So America decided that a psychologist was the best way to go since there was nothing more he could think of to do for 2p!England.
So that is the three paragraph/ 251 word story of how America and 2p!England ended up sitting in the lobby of a psychology centre place… America didn't know what the actual name was so he just called it that. America had decided that he would fill in the paperwork due to the fact that 2p!England would probably draw on it or write about how he was 'perfectly normal' and that America needed the psychology for his paranoia. America took the paper work for submitting someone else as 2p!England sulked about how he didn't need the therapy, after having enough of the 2p whining America just gave him some paper and a pen to draw with. Eventually America nodded, satisfied with his answers,
Patient's full name: Second Player United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland 2P!England Oliver Kirkland
Relation: Lover Friend Acquaintance Son BROTHER
Age: a thousand years, give or take, probably give by a lot 25
Reason for therapy: Psychotic tendencies (e.g. violence, odd eating habits, poisoning others), extremely childlike personality, yandere, Imaginary friends (e.g. Flying Chocolate Bunny etc.) Cupcake and knife obsession (not necessarily together but occasionally), overly affectionate, weird eyes, extremely gay fashion sense, talks in a weird sing-song voice, weird vocab, constantly types with '~' on the end.
Family: Twin Brother named Arthur, older Brothers: Alistair, Dylan, Michael, younger brother named Matthew Williams and Alfred F. Jones (me, the person filling out the form) and younger brother called Peter, and a lot more…
Willingness for therapy: NON-EXISTANT
What you are hoping to get from therapy: A sane person…? What else can I get? Oh and a hamburger…
Signature: ((the author is not allowed to display this due to international security))
Yes, those answers were perfectly satisfactory, by America's standard. America looked at the 2p to see what he had been doing. It turns out the Englishman was still drawing. America froze up before quickly snatching the paper away. "Wtf are you drawing man?! That's gross!"
Oliver tilted his head looking at the overly dramatic American "I was just drawing a nice picture of you, love~"
Alfred did an anime nerve throb "'Nice picture' my ass!"
Oliver giggled "It's just there, see~?" he pointed at his picture making Alfred angrier
"A picture of someone with their insides being ripped out and there intestines showing is not a nice picture! It's disturbing!"
Oliver rolled his eyes "Alfie, that is incredibly rude of you to say, I would never draw anything 'disturbing'. You should not lie."
Alfred heaved an exasperated sigh "Fuck you"
Oliver narrowed his blue-pink swirl eyes at Alfred "Don't use dirty words. There are children in here, you probably scared them all with your yelling and bad words"
The children in question we're looking timidly at the Briton whilst a few others asked their parents asked what 'fuck' meant whilst the said parents glared at the two arguing men and aforementioned men glared at each other and the receptionists sat there like awkward turtles.
Alfred pouted childishly before getting out his smart phone to text Arthur two simple words that he had just said to his 2p before turning his phone to silent so that England's spamming him with his rage wouldn't piss everyone off. In an hour's time after the session America would check his phone and see over 250 messages from Arthur.
"You scared the children with your creepy eyebrows and eyes and clothes and voice and overwhelming creepiness that would put the pedobear to shame…" America muttered quietly as he started goggling Avengers fanfiction looking for the one he had started reading earlier.
"Love, I'm bored. Would you like to play a game with me~?" Oliver asked with a smile that would make even Russia shudder.
Of course America was too stupid brave to notice pay attention to the smile. "Yeah sure I love games."
"Okay, love let's play hide and seek~ You hide and I'll seek~"
"Ollie we're in a reception, there is nowhere to hide." Alfred deadpanned
"Mr Kirkland and Mr Jones, the doctor will see you now." The receptionist said, gesturing to the doctor who had walked into the room. He was an older man in his late fifties to early sixties with his black hair greying and beady black eyes squinting slightly out of his too large glasses he looked every part of a psychologist in America's opinion.
Alfred stood up to follow the doctor who according to his name badge his last name was Dr. Grayham (Alfred suppressed a laugh at the irony) Oliver narrowed his eyes at the doctor before being nudged and later dragged by Alfred.
Dr Grayham gestured for the two nations to enter the room. It was simple in its interior with a desk against a wall with a swivel chair and white board on one wall, facing the white board was a sofa for the two blonds to sit on. Alfred sat at one end and Oliver at the other. Oliver tried to move closer to the Alfred and snuggle into him only to be pushed away and for Alfred to move further to the armrest. Oliver retreated back to what had been silently assigned as his side of the couch and the psychologist watched the two in interest.
"Mr Jones, I'd like to ask you about some of what you wrote on the form." Dr Grayham stated as he straightened his glasses. America nodded "What is you relation to Oliver"
2p!England decided to save America the trouble and answer "We're lovers~" and tried to hug the other blond again
Alfred pushed him away again "Just ignore the crazy, we're brothers."
"There is nothing wrong with crazy, love~"
"Maybe not but there is a problem with psychotic!"
"Psychotic is only a matter of opinion~"
Dr Grahams coughed to clear his throat, well actually it was more to make the bickering blonds "If you want I could refer you both to a marriage councillor?"
"Yes I think marriage counselling is exactly what we need, right Alfie~?"
"NO! And don't call me Alfie, it makes it sound like we actually like each other"
"But I do like you~"
Alfred ignored Oliver "We are brothers."
The psychologist nodded "You also couldn't decide on your brother's name"
"It's Oliver Kirkland"
Oliver pouted "But I'm Artie~!"
"You're Oliver and that's final." Alfred was ready to try and murder Oliver, even if he wouldn't die Alfred would feel a bit better. "Can I answer these questions later…? And can we start with the actual counselling?"
Dr Grayham sighed "Then could you please leave me alone to talk to Oliver? I'll talk to you individually later."
No sooner had America left the room had the giggling and screams started.
ZOMG I wrote a fic that wasn't a reader-insert! *le gasp* I'm shoooo happy~~
This plot bunny jumped out of an email and at my face *holds up pot bunny with pink-blue swirl eyes and an ahoge up before patting it* I felt obliged to write about it, his name is Oliver F. Jones or Flying Cupcake-Hamburger Bunny~
Isn't he adorable and fluffy~? *bunny has rabbit-rape face* Um… maybe not… *emo corner with bunny* why can't you be fluffier and more adorable? I'm changing your name, I'm calling you psycho-rabbit. It shall be your super hero name…
I (unfortunately) do not own the picture, if you own it, please tell me and I will credit you
Yes, I rp as America… 2p!England (well England's in general) constantly end up being a contributing to cause to any and all RusAme cockblocking that happens on there.
This will be part of a series, I don't know how/ when/ where it will end so feel free to send me a private message on how you think it should end.
How do you think the next session will go~?