-- Insomnia --

Summary:

B e t r a y a l , A n g u i s h , S e c r e c y a n d Lo v e . Sakura and Neji's lives are thrown out of their control after Sakura kisses Sasuke. Neji's jealousy due to Sakura's old feelings for Sasuke causes him to overreact. Sakura x Neji

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…but I wish I did lol.

Angel of Sincerity: I've been reading a lot of Sakura pairing fanfics and I've notice a growing trend of Neji x Sakura x Sasuke love triangles where Sasuke gets Sakura in the end. Although I love Sauke-kun more than any other character in the show/manga I think its Neji's time to have a winner in this love triangle. So here's my Neji x Sakura contribution to the world of fandom, I hope you all enjoy the first chapter.

Recommended Songs:

- Million Miles Away - Rihanna

- Nothing Good about Goodbye - Hinder

- Lonely Day - System of a Down

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Chapter 1: The kiss that changed it all

"The most loneliest day of my life,

and if you go; I want to go with you.

And if you die; I want to die with you.

Take your hand and walk away."

- Lonely Day – System of a Down

I turned and saw him walking, so I decided to call out to him. He turned and looked at me, I smiled trying to make him smile back but he just looked at me sadly.

"I've bumped into you. I'm sorry about what happened the other day, I didn't mean to kiss Sasuke I swear! I jus-" I started to say as he raised his hand telling me to stop speaking, then quickly turned away and started to walk again.

I started to chase him, calling for him to wait but my foot caught on a rock and I tripped over hurting my leg.

Neji's eyes started to go glassy as he looked down at me sadly, as he closed his eyes and starts to walk away.

I started to cry, not because of my leg but because of my heart. I watched him start to leave as I yelled at him angrily, "Why?"

Neji stopped in his tracks. "You want to know why? Well I've been trying to figure it as well! But I can't…Why did you go to him?" he asked angrily as I cried.

"I'm sorry! He's just my friend; I went to him because I wanted to ask for his advice about something. I didn't want to kiss him or for all this to happen…You know that; surely you do. I love you Neji," I whispered as he sighed sadly. "Neji, you said we'd be together forever..." I continued.

He shook his head, "Then I must have been mistaken, because I can't do this anymore… Goodbye Sakura…"

I sniffled as I brought my hands up to my face and cried, "But I needed to tell you something important…" I managed to call out only to be ignored.

It hadn't always been like that. We were crazy about each other before that day and that fight. I only wish things could've been different. I wish that I hadn't put both him and myself through that, although I deserved the heartbreak - my penance for what I'd done.

Looking down at my leaf village headband I felt a tug at my heart, he was there from the start when I first became a genin and he was apart of the rookie 12 as well just like myself; he was a true friend. A single tear rolled down my cheek as I opened my mouth trying to talk, yet unable to for long moments until I managed to whisper, "I Haruno Sakura am an idiot; and also a self-confessed cheater and a liar. The heavens only know why I even exist…"

Breaking out into uncontrollable sobs I clutched at the neckline of my dark attire, bringing my knees up to my head as I let it all out. My closure of this relationship was far from near, I knew that and all who knew me also knew that. I wasn't going to lose this war of love to anyone…not even myself.

Getting to my feet I peered out at the village from the comfort of my veranda as I heard a knock at my door. I turned my head towards my front door while the knocking continued, "Go away I just want to be alone…" I mumbled as I looked back at the village imagining things the way they used to be.

"What's wrong Sakura? Smile for me it'll make you feel better I promise," Neji whispered, rested his head on my shoulder; "I love you," he added as he disappeared.

I sighed and rubbed my arms as a cold chill travelled down my spine, "Neji…" I couldn't help it, his name just slipped off the edge of my tongue. I suppose that the fact I saw him everywhere I went as a mirage or illusion wasn't helping too much.

"SAKURA! WE KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE. LET US IN WE'RE WORRIED ABOUT YOU. TENTEN AND HINATA ARE HERE TOO, PLEASE LET US IN!" Ino shouted as she continued to knock at the front door.

"Stuff that," I said angrily as I threw myself on the couch, covering my eyes with the palms of my hands. I've screwed this all up, yeah that's right what else is new…If only there was something I could do to get him back, to make him realise how much he means to me; how much I love him. Slowly my eyes became heavy as I slipped into the darkness. A dreamless slumber; something I wasn't accustomed to, my sleeping state was maddening it was my version of insomnia.

I blinked uncomfortably as the sunlight filtered through the blinds of my lounge room and directly into my eyes as I squinted, yawning sadly I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes. 'That was the worst night's sleep I've had so far…' I thought as I got to my feet and re-did my long rose hair into a braid. 'We bought this house together, we were meant to spend the rest of our lives in this house…' I thought as I sighed loudly causing it to echo throughout the house as I walked towards the kitchen; stopping in my tracks as I set my eyes on the countless dirty plates that had been sitting on the counter since the day my world came crashing down. 'I think I might eat out for breakfast…' I concluded, I haven't been able to bring myself to wash the dishes and to keep the house in order…what was the point? He wasn't living with me anymore and he was the only reason I did such strenuous deeds, I wanted to prove myself to him. I wanted him to be proud of me as both a woman and his lover; I wouldn't settle for half.

The street was practically deserted as I walked down it with one hand in the pocket of my attire the other floating by my side gripping the key to my home until I slowly tucked it away into my other pocket for safe keeping. 'Where is everyone? I need to talk to the girls and apologise I guess…' I thought as I reached the ramen bar, seeing someone sitting down in a familiar red and white garment, Uzumaki Naruto the sixth hokage of the village hidden in the leaves. Pulling back the curtain I smiled slightly, sure he an I never really got along that well but he wasn't intolerable nowadays; he'd changed a lot since he was a teenager…we all had, it would be a little depressing if you found people our age of 24 years acting like 15 year olds, then again at times we didn't act our age. "Hey Naruto," I muttered calmly as I took a seat two down from his and ordered some beef ramen.

Shovelling ramen into his mouth he turned to look at me and smiled slightly, "Hey Sakura! I haven't seen you out and about for days," he replied between mouthfuls.

Looking down at the wooden counter I nodded hesitantly, "Y-Yeah, I spose…"

Blinking Naruto hesitantly put his bowl and chopsticks down on the counter. "What's the matter? Is this because of you and…him…" he asked forlornly as his azure eyes softened sympathetically.

I remained silent. 'So everyone knows then,' I noted as I received my steaming bowl of ramen from the store owner, 'I wonder if they're laughing about it? About me the girl who went back to Uchiha Sasuke, and lost the only man she truly loved…' God my life is pathetic it's like a soap opera.

"Sakura…" Naruto whispered as he waved his hand in front of my eyes, his breath hot upon my forehead as he looked down at me worriedly.

I sighed as I pushed him away. "Too close Naruto, too close! People need personal space, remember?" I muttered as I finished my ramen and looked back over at him. "Have you seen the other girls this morning?" I asked him as I paid for my meal.

Naruto folded his arms across his chest as he sighed, "I know Hinata is at home today because she wants me to meet her parents, Ino might be working at her mum's shop today…" he replied.

"What about Tenten?" I asked as I looked back at him.

His eyebrows furrowed at this, "We know someone called Tenten?" he replied slowly as he sweat dropped.

"Ughh!" I muttered as I threw my arms in the air, "You're hopeless! You know Tenten she was one of the rookie 12."

Looking back at me blankly he sighed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure!" I snapped, he really likes to push my limits. "She has brown hair done up into two buns and wears Chinese-like clothes," I explained only to receive the same blank look as before. "She was on-" I paused as I bit down on my bottom lip, 'I can't say his name…It's too painful…' I noted as I continued; "She was on bushy brows team…"

A smile broke out onto his features, "Ohh! I know who she is, I thought you said Tenten you were meaning ticktack," he said with a laugh.

I sighed, "You really are a dobe..." I muttered, "Her name isn't ticktack, her name is Tenten! Have you honestly always thought her name was ticktack?"

His head dropped as he sighed sadly, "Why do I have to be so out of the loop…"

I smiled, "You're in the loop, you're just a slow part of the loop," I replied with a smirk as I spotted Tenten nearby; "Cya Naruto, good luck with your loop issues," I said as I slowly approached Tenten.

She stopped in her tracks as she looked over at me in amazement.

"Hey Tenten can I talk to you? I really need to get something off my chest…" I muttered as Tenten approached me.

Smiling warmly Tenten wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "Of course, I'm actually surprised you're walking about. We haven't seen you around for a while…" she said slowly as we approached the bridge.

Leaning over one the rain I released a long tiresome sigh, "I don't know why I did it Tenten…" I mumbled ashamedly, "I wasn't even drunk when I cheated on him…I had perfect control and yet I still did something so stupid as to kiss Sasuke!" I exclaimed as I glared down at the water under the bridge. "Sasuke better have nothing to do with Neji finding out otherwise he's dead. I mean everyone knew that Neji was jealous of Sasuke because I harbored feelings for Sasuke for so many years. Even though Sasuke and I are just good friends and my feelings towards him are gone now, Neji feels just as threatened because we have history," I continued.

Tenten leant forward on the railing, looking over at me sympathetically, "Do you love either of them?"

"I love…Neji…" I replied slowly as my body trembled. "Tenten…if I tell you something can you promise not to tell anyone but help me with it?" I asked worriedly.

Her eyes glimmered with tears as she nodded, "Of course."

'She's worried about me…' I noted as I bit down on my lips once more, "I'm pregnant with Neji's baby."

Tenten covered her mouth as she emitted a quick gasp. "Are you certain? Did you take a test?" she asked worriedly as she placed a warm hand on my shoulder.

Looking at her hand for a moment I pressed my eyes shut, I knew it was going to be tough to tell the others. I thought it would be difficult when Neji and I weren't fighting, so now that we are I had a feeling it would be harder and most definitely more belittling. Slowly re-opening my eyes I pushed Tenten's hand off my shoulder; "I haven't taken a test but my period is a whole month and a half late, and I laid with…Neji before then so I must be," I replied icily as I trembled.

Wrapping her arms around me Tenten sobbed quietly; "I feel terrible for you Sakura…I wouldn't know what to do and here you are; staying so strong, not crying a single drop," she whimpered as she looked up at me.

Squeezing my eyes shut I forced back tears. I won't allow myself to cry in public. I'm not weak, I don't need this; "I don't need sympathy Tenten," I whispered as I looked down at her with calamity but deep down my heart was aching. Oh how I wanted to drop this brave act and cry hysterically, what I'd give to just go back in time and change all this. The pregnancy I could deal with, it was going through the pregnancy without Neji and without his knowledge of it that hurt the most.

"What will you do?" Tenten asked unsurely as she moved away, bringing a finger up to her mouth as she bit down on it nervously.

Taking a deep breath I trembled once more. Why can't I stop shaking? I want to be strong, I want to make it through this…I have to; there's no way I'm losing this baby it's mine no matter what. Taking a few steps forward I leant forward on the rail of the bridge and into my hands as they cupped my cheeks, "I-I…I'm not sure…" I replied at long last, "I don't even know if I should tell him…I tried to after the fight but he walked off," I continued bitterly. Looking up at the sky I felt tears returning to my eyes, "He knows where I am and yet he hasn't tried to contact me vice versa…" I said hurtly as I looked at Tenten in the corner of my left eye, "…It's probably best if he doesn't know…He'd probably try to take the baby when it's born since it'd be his rightful heir, or try to get back together with me..." I finished in a whisper.

Looking at me puzzledly Tenten cocked her head to the right, "But isn't him wanting to get back together with you a good thing? You said you love him so don't you want to be together to raise the baby?"

I frowned at this as thin stands of my rose hair fell over my watery emerald eyes, "I want to get back together with him…But not if he just wants to for the baby." Looking up at the sun I shielded my eyes as I forced a smile, "I will only allow it to happen when we stop fighting and he does it for his love of me, not what's growing inside me."

Taking a few steps forward Tenten smiled, "I'm really proud of you Sakura, I hope you know that," she said sweetly.

Glancing back at her I smiled and hugged her tightly. "Thankyou…" I whispered as I shivered and let two tears roll down my cheeks at long last.

"Will you tell Ino? What about Hinata…She's Neji's cousin…" Tenten asked as she looked down at me.

Moving out of her embrace I wiped my tearstained cheeks, "I'll tell them, you three are my best friends there's no way I wouldn't tell all of you…As for Hinata I know she won't tell Neji. She's a loyal friend, so she'd never do that…" I replied slowly.

"And the baby?" Tenten asked, "Who's will you say it is? You can't exactly fake the immaculate conception here and besides; what if the baby has the Hyuga bloodline trait?" she asked concernedly.

Looking at my feet I started to walk back over the bridge with Tenten at my side. What would I do? What would I tell everyone? What if I don't survive childbirth? I shuddered at the thought. The child would have such a tough childhood if that happened…I mean look at Naruto and Gaara, sure they were both human sacrifices so they were hosts for powerful demons but neither for them had parents…Gaara's mother died during birth and he murdered his father; and Naruto…Naruto never even knew his parents. Both of them were victimised by the villagers; neither of them having a proper childhood.

I would never wish that upon anyone, my own children in particular; maybe I should tell Neji…but not yet, I'll wait until I have no other options or this is all sorted out – if it gets sorted out that is. "I'll work it out eventually," I replied eventually as I stopped in my tracks, "I better get home and change; I have to go to the hospital to do some paperwork. I spose that's what comes with being the top medic-nin," I replied dazedly as I grimaced.

Tenten laughed lightheartedly, "Ok well I'll talk to you later then. Just try to keep your mind off things, ok?"

"I'll try I promise. Cya…" I replied hesitantly as I smiled a little. Why did I say that? It's not going to happen; it's too big an issue to just slip my mind.

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Angel of Sincerity: So how was it?

Please review, even if it's short, I don't care. I want to know what each and every one of you thinks of my fan-fic. I don't mind if it's an anonymous review either by the way.

If you have any asian baby names I'd love to hear them, just state them in your review ok. Thanks,

xx

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