Kirsten's POV.
I thought everything would be ok. I thought I could get through this without help and I even pushed my husband away to prove to myself there was nothing wrong, because there was nothing wrong. Or so I thought. See I do too much thinking. Some people have a problem with not thinking before acting out. Me, me I have a problem with thinking too much and not doing anything about it.
I thought things were going ok. Obviously I had slipped through life's easiness and into the firing line of death, torture and pain. I had fallen into lies and deceit and it had engulfed me in a deadly tight embrace.
I missed my family: my two sons. Heck I couldn't believe it, but I even missed Julie. Julie: the self-absorbed woman who loved herself more than anyone. But she was my friend. Even through the bitching and fighting, she really was my friend! Ok so she was my stepmother in a sick and twisted way, well until my dad died… but I really thought of Julie as a good person in general and I think she was grateful for that. She may have been rich, beautiful and funny but I don't think she had any real friends who liked her for who she was deep down. She may have been a bitch at times but she wasn't really all that bad. I missed Sandy the most though… I admit I was angry at him at first, after all he was the one who put me here but he loved me and I loved him and that would never change no matter what. He had been patient with me but I lied to him and let him feel hopeless.
I wasn't allowed to call home for the next 72 hours but after I was allowed to use the pay phones whenever I wanted and Sandy had left some money for me along with a note. The first 72 hours were the hardest 72 hours of my life and all I wanted to do was call Sandy and apologise for being so screwed up and for shouting at him but I couldn't ring anyone and in the end I resorted to talking to myself, willing myself to get better for the sake of my family. As soon as the 73rd hour was up I was on the phone even though it was 8 o'clock in the morning and I didn't really think anyone would be up. I didn't care if they were up or not because I really needed to hear their voices.
Seth had picked up and he seemed so happy to hear my voice.
"Hey sweetie." I had said and we had chatted for a while and then I spoke to Ryan and even though he wasn't my son, he seemed eager to learn that I was doing fine. Sandy was the last person I spoke to and I couldn't keep my emotions bottled up anymore.
"I'm so sorry." I cried, sobs erupting from my gentle frame.
"It's ok honey, you don't have anything to be sorry for." He told me in a soft and soothing voice.
"I'm such a screw up!" I had choked but he had assured me I wasn't. After 10 minutes I realised I had to go to a stupid group session meeting.
"Sandy, I've got to go." I had told him regrettably.
"Ok honey, you're gonna beat this." He spoke softly and silently; I had started to cry again. "And Kirsten?"
It took me a while before I was able to reply.
"Yes?" I finally spoke.
"I love you." He softly told me.
"I love you too." I paused. "And tell the boys I love them too. Erm say hi to Julie for me please." I asked and he confirmed he would do as I asked before hanging up and I left to go to an unsuccessful group meeting. I then remained in my "room" for a few hours where I reflected on everything that had happened in the past few months until a knock on the door interrupted me.