There are different types of crying and when it comes to sadness, there are different levels of crying. There's the cry you do when you see or read something sad and then there are the cries that seem to rip from somewhere deep inside you. Thor thinks those are the worst.
Some people consider crying a sign of weakness but for Thor it's the opposite. He's never been ashamed to cry and no one would ever dare to tell him he was weak for doing something natural. Thor had no problem crying but he did have a problem with this type of crying. The ripping from somewhere deep inside him causing everything to hurt type. Thor knew who his tears were for and he was crying for one person he'd never see again.
A lot of people would say that Thor was an idiot for crying over his traitor of a brother, for the frost giant. . .for the enemy. Before Thor was sent to Midgard his first reaction would have been to hit them but he knew better now. They were trying to help, of course they would make things worse but they did try and Thor was grateful for that. Plus, Thor knew that everyone else wouldn't understand. . .and they weren't exactly wrong.
Loki was a traitor. He had tried to kill Odin and Thor because he was blinded by hatred and whatever other reasons Loki had. Thor had no idea what went on inside his brother's head and he didn't care to find out. . .not that he could anymore. Another soul shaking sob ripped through Thor as he sat on his bed.
Thor had meant to get up, get dressed and go see the Warriors three but as soon as his feet touched the cold floor something inside of him seemed to break. It had taken Thor by surprise and for awhile he had thought he was dying. . .that was until he remembered a conversation he had with Jane. Thor had found a necklace that had what Jane called a "heart shape" split in two. You give one to someone and you keep the other and when you're with that person you can join those two hearts up and it'll be whole again. Thor didn't understand that because hearts don't break. Jane had mentioned there have been cases where people seemed to die of a broken heart. Thor laughed at the idea.
Thor believed Jane now. The sadness seemed to be hugging him as tightly as it could, making sure Thor felt every bite, prick and cut it could put onto his soul. He could feel his heart slowly breaking with each second Loki didn't burst into his room and shout "Surprise!", Thor felt it all and as another sob tore through his body Thor wondered if this is what those people felt like before they died. Incomplete, lost, tortured.
Thor knew he wouldn't be seeing the Warriors three today but he did have another place to go. Getting up, Thor glanced at his armour and shook his head; Thor had no intention of getting properly dressed. Pulling on his boots, Thor knew his sleeping pants and top would be enough to go outside but probably not enough to stop questions. Shaking his head, Thor exited his chambers and ignored everything in his way.
It didn't take long for Thor to get to the bifrost. Thor stood there and looked down at where his brother had let go, willing Loki to reappear so he could stop him from letting go. Thor had lost count of how many times he replayed that scene over and over in his head. Thor shut his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to will himself awake. Opening his eyes, Thor felt the sobs he was holding back begin to shake his whole body. Loki was still not here and this was not a dream. Taking another deep breath, Thor screamed Loki's name as loud as he could, not caring who heard him.
Thor hoped Loki heard. Thor hoped Loki heard how broken he felt. He wanted Loki to hear how he wasn't second best to Thor and how Thor missed him and loved him. Sitting down on the edge of the bifrost, Thor shook his head and knew Loki didn't hear any of that. Letting his tears fall into the darkness beneath him, Thor let the sadness hug him once more.