This is just to amuse the humor side of me. I get ideas for things like this all the time. But feel free to send me some if you get them! Infact, I push for you to send me them! Though, I can't promise I'll get them all. -frown-
I do not own ANYTHING or ANYONE fromSTARGATE ATLANTIS
SGA-1 got bored very easily. So, since the Gate Room had a lovely, big, empty wall to the left of the gate when you entered Atlantis, they decided to make a list of things you SHOULDN'T do in Atlantis, off-world, and in the Pegasus galaxy in general.
SheppardMcKayRononTeyla
Never have the first thing you say here be 'This place isn't so bad.' You'll only regret it later
A: Colonel Sheppard would like to remind the original members not to talk about Colonel Sumner to the newbies.
B. Dr. McKay requests that newbies ask a scientist the statistics of Murphy's Law here in Pegasus before doing anything.
Do not ask someone what a Wraith looks like. If you are lucky enough to get put on a team, you'll find out soon. If not, ask Dr.Beckett if he'll show you his video data on Michael. (This is not suggested, for your safety)
A. Teyla insists that Dr. Beckett will never harm you, and that Sheppard and McKay are just acting inmature.
Three weeks of boot camp is required. This will teach you how not to get killed. Don't skip it.
A. Colonel Sheppard would like to note that Marines will be punished for skipping. He would also like to note that civilians will only go through basic gun training unless they plan on volunteering for our regular off-world trips to allied planets.
Remember. Here, we are the aliens.
A. Dr.McKay would like to say that, for your own safety, never ask the natives crude questions. Ronon might not beat you, but Teyla will.
All gossip from SGC is null and void here in Atlantis, as both SGC and Atlantis are in a never ending contest.
A. Colonel Sheppard wants to prewarn anyone who used to, or does, work at the SGC that for your first month or two here, you will be the product of many pranks.
B. Dr. McKay promises to post a list of taboo topics in the infirmary during his next visit there.
C. Teyla would like to tell the newbies that many people compare SGA-1 and SG-1 a lot. It is wise for you not to.
Remember. You are on a planet that is more than 90 percent covered in water. If you can't swin, get lessons. And quick.
A. Ronon says that Dr. Beckett has been telling some natives who can't swim that he would set up a class if they want to learn. Go ask him.
Atlantis' (unoffical) motto is "Yeah, the world sucks. But if it didn't, we'd all fall off."
A. Colonel Sheppard wants everyone to learn this and love it, because it's true.
Yes. We do realize that some of you might accidentally activate something. If you do, go to Dr. Beckett to get tested for the ATA gene.
A. Colonel Sheppard begs you to do this, as he is very tired of being the guinea pig for the Science Department.
B. Dr. McKay also asks you to, as he is certain that if another scientist (besides himself or Dr. Zelenka) asks Sheppard to activate something for them, they will get harmed, and he would rather not do the paperwork.
Just because one of the senior members does it, doesn't mean you should. THEY can get away with it. You can't.
A. Colonel Sheppard wants you to remember that this includes things like volunteering for suicidal missions, eating something unknown, injecting yourself with a bottle full of Wraith enzyme, and yelling at McKay's little band of scientists. Dr. Weir does not like it when the senior members do it, but they are the ones that the command goes to if anything happens.
B. Teyla notes that Colonel Sheppard's last sentence scares Dr. Weir greatly, even if she trusts her 2, 3, and 4IC's with her life.
C. Dr. McKay warns EVERYONE (including all the old members) that the next person to yell at any of his scientists, or makes any of them cry will wish that Ronon thought they were Wraith instead of what he'll be doing to them. He also wishes to explain that the 2IC is Colonel Sheppard, the 3IC is himself, and the 4IC is Dr. Beckett. He wants you to memorize this, for all major plans must go through one of these people to be OKed.
Do not flirt with the locals.
A. Colonel Sheppard says that if Dr. Weir doesn't yell at you for doing this, he will. Only he won't be vocal.
B. Ronon notes that Colonel Sheppard will have to get in line after him, ofcourse.
C. Teyla would like to warn that the men of SGA-1 don't care if they get kicked off of Atlantis. The local people are like family to them, and they will act according to their own thoughts on how to deal with you.