Author's note: This is just a quick fic I did, and the idea came to me at 2:30 in the morning listening to Britney Spears, trying to get to sleep. Don't ask. The first part of it isn't funny, and the rest isn't all that much either, but that's just my opinion. Who knows, someone might like it. I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters, or the song. I just changed some of the words. Enjoy!
Voldemort…Singing?
The Death Eaters appeared in the appropriate clearing, as their Dark Lord had commanded. Many of them glanced around uneasily, the quiet darkness getting to them. Most were not looking forward to hearing what Voldemort had to say.
Finally he Apparating in the middle of their circle. Wasting no time, he said in his cold voice, "I'm through with you fools. You can never do anything right. You're lucky I'm not going to kill you now."
Lucius Malfoy stepped forward hesitantly, shock showing openly on his face. "But, my Lord! What do you mean?"
"You heard me. I'm stronger now, and I'm going solo." With that, he waved his wand and 3 attractive girls appeared, dressed in black and wearing what the backup singers for B. Spears usually wears. Music filled the clearing as the girls start to dance, and Voldemort began to sing:
Ooh, hey, yeah
Hush, just stop
There's nothing you can do or say, baby
I've had enough
I'm not your leader as from today, baby
You might think that I won't make it on my own
But now I'm…
(backup singers join in)
Stronger than yesterday
Now it's nothing but my way
My loneliness ain't killing me no more
I'm stronger
That I ever thought I could be, baby
I used to go with the glow
You don't really care 'bout me
You might think that I can't take it, but your wrong
'Cause now I'm…
Stronger than yesterday
Now it's nothing but my way
My loneliness ain't killing me no more
I'm stronger
Here I go, on my own
I don't need nobody, better off alone
Here I go, on my own now
I don't need nobody, not anybody
Here I go alright, here I go
Stronger than yesterday
Now it's nothing but my way
My loneliness ain't killing me no more
I'm stronger!
Voldemort finishes singing, and the music and girls fades away. Without saying a word, he Apparates, leaving his former henchmen (and women) speechless. They look at each other in amazement and confusion, mostly at the fact that Voldemort could sing. It hadn't sunk in yet that they were no longer Death Eaters.
Finally, on the the hooded wizards said, "If he had to leave, why couldn't he have left the girls behind?"
~Fin~
Okay, so this story made no sense, even to me. But thanks for reading!