My heart's in my mouth, I cannot believe this is happening, I can't accept it, it can't end this way, no!
"Reno..." your name spills from my lips, a heart-broken, desperate cry ripped from my throat.
Your gorgeous eyes open, but they aren't those perfect sapphires I remember, they're tainted now, their cold fire seeping away, like the blood oozing from that brutal gaping wound in your chest, that fist-sized hole with scorched edges from that monster's weapon.
I feel my own tears welling up, spilling down my cheeks in a flow I am helpless to stem. Your hand comes up, cold as ice, colder... the chill of death is already settling over you, and my Firaga won't help now. Your long slender fingers brush my skin and your perfect lips curve up in a shadow of that smile I remember.
Those lips, always so pale, are paler now, almost the same shade as your paper-white skin, and the scarlet trickle which oozes between them when you open your mouth is in such lurid, stark contrast that it makes me feel sick.
I can't accept this!
Turks were never supposed to be battle troops, what was the President thinking?! I can never forgive him for this, even though I know as well as you do that we had no choice, that it was all or nothing this one last time. This one last pitched battle marking the end of ShinRa and the world we knew. We weren't sure if there would be a place for us in the new world order bound to follow, but we promised we would find out together, you can't leave me! We are already overrun, the battle raging around us growing distant, a roaring in my ears - the pounding of my desperate heart - eclipsing the sound. Suddenly my thoughts are lucid. This has to be a nightmare, this can't be true, everything we fought for, lived for, died for, cannot be falling around our ears. The empire of blood is at an end it is true, but it must be the night before the final battle, the night before the world will come crashing down around us and in a baptism of fire a new world will be born for just the two of us.
Your rapidly fading warmth against me clears my head and I again have the fresh agony of realising this is not a nightmare, that you are here, dying in my arms.
You're still staring up at me, your beautiful eyes full of concern for me. Even in your last moments you don't care that you're dying, you're worried about me, about the one you'll leave behind.
Every single ability I have ever been blessed or cursed with, every single enhancement, I would give it all up if it would give me even a moment longer with you. I would take the mako dose for every SOLDIER in the program if it meant I could die in your place, but there's nothing left, nothing but me and you. Even my Goddess has deserted me in my darkest hour.
You always had a sense of quiet amusement at my belief in a false deity of legend, but you were still reverent in your own way, you never teased. You protected me. I remember once I asked you why and you shrugged and said as far as you were concerned this was a godless hell, but it seemed a waste not to believe in something, and since this brought me so much comfort you'd believe in anything to keep me safe.
I pray to her now to save you, but the words feel empty, hollow, ringing dead inside me.
It's almost ironic really, considering the rivalry between our departments, how I, one of ShinRa's Great Trinity am kneeling on a battlefield while a war rages around me, cradling the body of the Turk Second-in-Command. But you always did that, didn't you Reno? You brought people together, brought our departments together. Zack first, then he introduced us. Even Angeal has a soft spot for you, though he'd never admit it.
My own eyes close and I fall to brush your lips, praying that if I kiss you long enough, while I'm kissing you, you will have to stay alive. If I can just hold you here, keep you here long enough...
Your hand comes up to brush through my hair and I break off, staring down at you, my eyes desolate as an anguished scream echoes next to me. Angeal watches Puppy fall before another charge. It seems it is the day of losses for the once-great heroes we were.
You meet my gaze again and it's electrifying. Your lips part and you breathe my name. My heart almost stops, I'm not prepared for this to be the end, I don't want my name to be the last thing on your lips, don't want to be left with only a half-thought, with the questions which would eat me from inside for the rest of my life as to what it was you meant.
Your eyes close, but crystalline clear through the clashing of metal and screams of the wounded and dying, I hear your last words.
"I love you..."
With that, I know you're gone, and I throw my head back and scream. It doesn't sound human, it sounds animal, a broken creature trapped and tortured as the last of my humanity is stripped away with your death. I fall over your body but a hand on my shoulder yanks me back to the fight as I wheel on them, snarling, baring my teeth as I draw Rapier from her scabbard. I won't let them have you while I still breathe, and when I die, we die together.
"I, I just died in your arms tonight..."
This wasn't how it was supposed to end...
Basically, listening to the Dommin cover of the Cutting Crew song "I Just Died In Your Arms" and being in an angsty sort of mood, I got this beautifully tragic image in my head. Sadly I knew I would never be able to visually do it justice, so I decided to play to my strengths and express it in words. At first, even that was difficult, and I had several false starts, but then it struck me to do it in first person. It must be said I am pleased with how it's turned out. If anyone feels they want to try to do an accompanying artwork, note me or comment here and I'll discuss it with you. Thanks.
Genesis and Reno, Angeal, Zack, etc. (c) Square Enix, I Just Died In Your Arms (c) Cutting Crew, fic idea, angst, plot etc. (c) me thanks