State of Change

"Is Alexis home for the holidays yet?" Kate asked as she and Castle stood in his study. His arms were around her waist, and hers were around his neck.

"Yep. Got home this morning," he answered with one of those happy dad smiles Kate now recognized.

"You're looking forward to having her here for a while, aren't you?"

"Yeah. I might be a little concerned that she's outgrown me, though. She's been at college on her own long enough to start thinking my sometimes childish ways are too juvenile for her."

"She's never going to stop enjoying your childish ways. She loves you way too much."

"You sure?"

"I'm thinking it's a pretty sure bet. I'm also thinking I should probably stay away, for at least a few days…give the two of you some time alone. Things have changed a lot for her this fall, and she needs to know you're still her rock…that she can still have your full attention."

"What about me? I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you, too, but we'll see each other at work."

"At work I can't snuggle with you in bed, and I can't do this," he argued, and gave her a long, lingering kiss.

"Mmmmm…." she answered lazily. I'll definitely miss that, but I'm not sure Alexis is all that happy about us yet. Let's give her some time to understand where we are before she has to live with it in the loft. I think I'll just talk to her a minute and head home.

"Do you really think of your apartment as home now?"

"Only when you're in it. These days, home is wherever you are." She stopped and cupped his jaw in her hand, leaning in to kiss him briefly. "Look what you've done to me. I've gone all mushy."

"A proud moment for me." He grinned at her mischievously, and she playfully smacked him in the chest.

"Ow! I don't think Alexis has a problem with us, but if I come out of here with physical injuries, she might." He looked more serious then, and asked, "Is being here with the whole family too much for you? You've stayed when Mother was here. Is it Alexis? Is the whole family thing too much for you?"

"No!" she answered with full certainty. "Your mother is a little over the topand it took some getting used to; but I love opening the door here and finding the love and welcome and joy in life. She's smart and perceptive and knows how to mother me without trying to replace my mother. And your daughter, Rick…your wonderful, amazing daughter. You've told me you don't know how she turned out so well under your watch, but I know how it happened. She's just like you. She's brilliant and talented and generous and perceptive and has a heart of gold…just like her father. And like the rest of the family, she enjoys what she does with her whole self. And just like you and your mother, she'll fight for what's best for her family."

"You really think my studious, organized, reasonable child is like me?" he asked incredulously.

Kate laughed. "Okay, so she handles it differently; but yeah, she's got all your good qualities, and I have no problem at all thinking I'd feel honored if she'd let me into her life. I'd be really proud of that. How do I tell your amazing child, who has had you all to herself for so long, that I need you like I need air to breathe? I don't want her to worry that I'd try to come between you. Do you think she can share you with somebody else who loves you that much?"

"You really love him that much?" they heard from the doorway and turned to find Alexis watching them.

"How long have you been there?" Castle asked.

"Too long," Alexis answered with her head hanging. "I'm sorry."

"Has college taught you it's okay to eavesdrop on personal conversations?" he asked, obviously not happy with her."

"No. And you've taught me it isn't."

"So how long?" he asked again.

"Right before I might not be that happy about the two of you being together yet. I'm sorry."

"Alexis, this isn't like you," Castle started.

"I heard the front door open and thought it would be Grams; but I got to the study, and it was Kate, and you were talking about me, and…"

"I think I understand," Kate said, looking at Castle. "Maybe this time you could let it slide? I remember coming home from Stanford expecting things to be just like I left them, but Mom and Dad had just had almost four months all to themselves. They were clingier, seemed closer than before. When I was home, I knew almost all the little jokes between them because I was there to share them; but when I got home for the Christmas holidays, they had new ones that I wasn't part of. They'd bought a few new things that I didn't recognize. Cases they talked about were all new. It felt like home, but it was different. It was hard to assimilate that while I was off getting a new life started for myself, they were home having to do the same thing. Alexis is in the middle of that now. That conversation was probably important to her."

"Thanks, Kate, but I'm still sorry I eavesdropped. I guess you're kind of right. I know the two of you have been spending a lot more time together. Maybe I'm feeling a little on the outside."

Without even communicating outwardly, both Rick and Kate held out an arm to invite Alexis in. Rick pulled her head to his shoulder, and Kate's put an arm around her waist and her head went to his other shoulder.

"I want Kate to be part of our family, Pumpkin. Do you think you can come to terms with that?"

"Dad, I can see how much you love each other. My opinion shouldn't matter."

"But it does," he assured her. "We'd like to have your blessings."

"You have my blessings…in theory. It's going to take a little time to get used to seeing all this, though. Definitely new and different."

"If you're not comfortable with us together, we'll figure something out while you're home." Kate offered. "Just be honest with me, okay?"

"Okay."

"I'm gonna go now." Kate turned her attention to Castle again. "See you in the morning?"

"Yeah. You gonna pick me up?"

"Sure."

Alexis hugged Kate and said, "Thanks for understanding."

"I'm not too old to remember…not yet anyway," Kate assured her with a smile. "If anything about this worries you or bothers you, talk to me, understand?"

"I will." Alexis hesitated a moment. "Did you really mean all those things you said about me…that you'd be proud of me?"

"Of course I did."

"I like that you can see that Dad did a good job with me, and I like that you think I'm like him. He needed to know that."

"Did you know that one of the first things that attracted some respect from me was the way he talked about you? It was the first time I saw past the façade. Fatherhood looked good on him."

"Alright, child. Kate insists on leaving; so, unless you want to watch some serious good-bye kissing, you should go now."

"Eeew! I'm going. I'm going," Alexis said, chuckling her way out of the room.

After she was out of sight, Castle took Kate in his arms, and they spent enough time saying good-bye to hold them until she picked him up the next morning.

Alexis walked to the door with them as Kate was leaving. "Kate?"

"Yeah?"

"I'll be proud of you, too." She gave Kate a hug before she opened the door.

As the door opened, Rick took Kate's hand and kissed the back of it. "Until tomorrow, Detective."

Kate smiled and gave him a quick kiss before leaving, clearing the evening for some needed dad/daughter time…and feeling hopeful that the three of them would eventually feel like a real family.