Disclaimer: Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya
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She hated going.
But Haru always insisted on going, just like he insisted on doing every other stupid thing. And she liked Haru's company, and she didn't want him to get in trouble, so every time, she went along.
So Rin leaned against Yuki's door, tapping her boots in the hallway, looking around boredly.
If it had been up to her, they never would have gone, not even once, not even to stand outside the door and laugh, because he wasn't worth it. Let the Mouse stay in his hidey-hole all day long, she didn't care. If he was going to be a waste of space, he didn't deserve Haru's time and attention.
And he certainly didn't deserve Rin's time or attention, so she never went in. She'd never really met Yuki, as much as Haru seemed to like him, but the dislike was implicit. When he was little, he'd only ever come out at New Years, and even then he'd do nothing but sit at Akito's side. Silent like a little doll, too stuck-up and in love with Akito to bother to come over or even say hello to the rest of them. So why should she go to him?
She would have gone on like that, not caring a bit for what the Rat did, except that Haru had suddenly gotten the idea he was wonderful. Rin had smiled and been happy for Haru, even though she hadn't really cared what Yuki was doing.
But then Yuki had started taking martial arts with Haru. And Haru talked about him a lot more, then. She let him talk, because she liked to listen to him—and who else would he have talked about, Kagura, the Cat? So Haru told his stories and Rin laughed where appropriate, and sometimes she fluffed his soft white hair while he was distracted with speaking.
To be honest, then, Yuki hadn't been a problem at all until he suddenly stopped taking martial arts and disappeared from her life.
The rumor had been that Akito had ordered him to stop. Akito hadn't liked him doing martial arts anymore. In fact, Akito hadn't liked him doing much of anything, and wasn't letting anyone see the Mouse anymore, just like when he was little.
Rin hadn't cared. Haru had.
So here they were, with Haru sitting inside talking quietly with the Rat, and Rin outside the door, fiddling with the toes of her boots or twirling her hair around her fingers in between watching for adults.
Of course it was Haru who had to be so foolish and infatuated with Yuki that he decided he ought to break all the rules and go visit him. Rin couldn't have cared less about seeing the Mouse, but she liked Haru's company, and she didn't want that stupid Yuki to drag Haru into trouble with him. So she tagged along, and Haru said it was great.
But she'd refused to go in. Haru had pushed a little, but knew when to stop, shrug, and go talk to Yuki himself. The Rat didn't deserve her attention—a pathetic little parasite. He was so weak he didn't ever stand up to anyone and was just content to be Akito's toy, and then he had the nerve to act like this, as if he were worse off than the rest of them. But worst of all, he took advantage of the compassion of people like Haru who were too stupid to realize what a parasite he was.
So she sat outside and listened to the quiet voices until either someone came or she really did get sick of it. Then she'd stand up and announce, "I've had enough. I'm going home." And Haru would say goodbye and follow her.
But then one day, the Mouse started ignoring Haru. The past few weeks he'd been looking distracted sometimes, depressed, and Haru, that idiot, had been worried about him. And here Yuki was ignoring him, like an ungrateful little brat just begging for attention.
Rin was well aware that being Akito's pet couldn't be a good thing. But did he think the rest of them all had it easy? Did he think he had a right to act like this? That damn stupid Rat.
She wanted to tell Haru to give it up and Yuki to stop being a pathetic baby, but she just would have ended up yelling, and that would blow their cover and Haru would get in trouble. So she bit her tongue, sulked outside the door, and listened to Haru puzzledly but determinedly make conversation to what sounded like an empty room. She fiddled with her necklace until she couldn't stand listening to Haru waste his time anymore and stormed home.
The next time, and the time after that, Yuki still didn't talk. Rin peeked into the room a few times; he'd taken to hugging his knees close to his chest and burying his face against his legs. Even Haru wasn't able to be oblivious to the situation anymore, and began quietly cajoling and begging Yuki to do anything. To just look up, to just say something, anything. But the Rat refused to acknowledge anything, just curling up silently and shake as if he were sobbing silently, which only made Haru worry more, and made Rin hate him.
Stupid, stupid Haru. And stupid Mouse, for leeching off his kindness until one day Haru might end up breaking. And that was unacceptable. She dug her heels into the floor angrily; she wanted to yell at them both, and hit Yuki for being so weak and stupid. She wanted Haru to realize that Yuki would survive perfectly well without him.
But Haru never realized that. He thought everyone needed him, so he just kept giving until one day he wouldn't have anything left. Rin could have lived without him, too, but she liked his company. And at least she showed it, whereas the Rat didn't show any emotion at all, like a terrified little animal. A waste of space, like a black hole slowly eating away at her favorite person.
She hated going to visit Yuki, because she hated to see Haru look so upset when Yuki wouldn't do anything.
So she sulked outside the doorway until she couldn't take it anymore. And she told Haru she hated going, she hated going so much when Yuki was so pathetic. If he hated his life here so much, why didn't he just move out like Gure-nii?
The next time they went, Yuki talked to Haru a little. And then they didn't go again, which Rin didn't mind. It was much later that she found out that was just because Yuki was living at Gure-nii's, because Haru had begged and pleaded with Gure-nii to take him in. She hadn't known whether to hit Haru for being so stupid, or to hug Gure-nii for agreeing so willingly and making Haru not worry so stupidly over Yuki anymore.
It wasn't until near the end of her hospital stay that Rin realized she was letting Haru be just as stupid over visiting her. So the next time he came, she was strong, and she made sure he didn't come back.
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Owari
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-Windswift
