YOO I got this idea from my friends on Discord. its, crack, pretty much. it was too good not to write.

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR MY WRITING

I am God.

To put things simply, I am a human God.

Now, you might be thinking that that is a really high way to think of myself, but you have no idea how true these words are.

There was a rumor flying around, one that was kinda like "Oh, if you leave a 7/11 at specifically 1:17AM, there's a 1/20 chance that you'll get something like an admin mode to life." I didn't believe that bullshit- I mean, that couldn't be possible. Just simply having the ability to cheat your way through life? Ha! If that was possible, I would've already exited a 7/11 twenty times at 1:17AM! Turns out, I had already done so 19 times before without knowing.

I walked out of the 7/11- apparently at 1:17AM- sipping my slurpee, when suddenly I had this tingly feeling in my body. A voice, loud and clear, boomed in my head: "Jason Dean! Congratulations, you now have access to admin mode in LIFE!" And then it was gone. I didn't believe it, but I still had to try, right? What if it was true? So I took my slurpee and went to the parking lot, where my motorcycle was parked, and I placed the slurpee down pretty much in the middle. The only problem? I had no fucking idea how the fuck I hack things. I squatted down and poked the cup, seeing if a menu would pop up or something. No such luck. I must've looked like a hobo or something, since someone hit me in the back of the head with a quarter. I thought about it, thinking of the different forms of hacking. I thought of a code, like, one of those that you would put into a Bethesda Game, a hack to make it grow in size- and it did. But it was WAY too tall, it was like, two fucking stories tall. I shrieked- IN A MANLY WAY, I SHRIEKED IN A MANLY WAY- and inputted a code to make it smaller. It shrunk down to the size of a Labrador dog- and that's still pretty big. I pushed it over to my motorbike with a little difficulty. Damn, that motherfucker was heavy.

But it was also the best slurpee I've ever had. And to confirm your suspicions: Yes, I drank the whole thing in the parking lot of that 7/11.

As I drove home, I thought about what I could do with my newfound powers- and I'm not a charity man. You can't expect good things from me when I have this kind of power.

Next Chapter: Chandler is a Barbie Girl in a Barbie World

Yoooo! Hope you guys liked this lmao

Signing off~

grill