I have no clue where this is going. Literally just been sitting in my files for a while. But I love the idea of everyone getting in on some Kuwabara actions. Mmmmmmh, delicious, delicious Kuwabara action. That, and I just can't stop drawing Kuwabara as a geshia. Because it sure is sexy as Hell to see him all sexed up. Enjoy~
"…the outcome of this mission will stand to affect the next several centuries. It is of the upmost importance that you succeed in it or the alternative will bring about the next human apocalypse prematurely. Any questions," Koenma asked.
Throughout his entire presentation the young God hadn't bothered to glance up. Instead he choose to rummage through the mounds of paperwork littering his desk, sorting the papers into piles of importance, pausing occasionally to throw down a signature then tossing that aside to grab at another.
Honestly, the mission he'd given his team of spirit detectives was tame compared to every other one they'd had. In a way, it was more a vacation than a mission. They got to stay at a top notch resort for two weeks! As actual guests no less! He'd originally planned on the four going in as undercover workers, but Koenma didn't think Hiei could reduce himself to the role of a servant and Yusuke'd probably just skip out.
Kuwabara gave a little wave of his hand. "Yeah, I gotta question."
Koenma paused in his work long enough to spare his sole human detective a glance, quickly going back to shuffling through his papers, waiting for Kuwabara to continue.
"Why the Hell I gotta go 'round as a girlie-guy for these three pricks?! Can't Kurama do it? He's already got the hair for it!" Kuwabara moaned.
Kurama, miffed with Kuwabara's jibe at his manhood, bit out a hard explanation, purposefully digging at Kuwabara's insecurities of not fitting in with the rest of them. "We are leaving for a Makai resort. We are demons and belong, whereas you are a human."
"He means you are weak and inferior. Your place would naturally be beneath us," Hiei said, a hint of sexuality twisting his smirk.
"Shuddup! I could top your ass in a second, shortstuff!" Kuwabara growled. Hiei matched his glare with one of his own, challenging him to back up his claim. With a great huff, Kuwabara rounded on the preoccupied God again.
"Look, I get why I gotta be the one…bottomin'. But why do I gotta wear those," said Kuwabara; he viscously pointed behind him.
More than half the room was taken up by the those in question. Strewn about the office was a rather large variety of kimono. Botan fluttered about them, dragging more and more from the various open trunks. She cried in delight at the brilliant colors and patterns, rambling on about how she never got to have anything half as beautiful as the garments clutched in her grip.
Kuwabara was embarrassed to see Yusuke holding a vibrant purple Hikizuri up to his body as he swirled his hips a little. With a twirl, Yusuke came face-to-face with Kuwabara and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.
"Why don't you give us a little dance now? Or you gonna wait til we got you all alone in our fancy-shmancy room?" teased Yusuke.
Kuwabara felt a flush flash along his body as an angry blush blazed on his face. He could hardly hear his own words pass the pounding of blood in his ears. "I'm no Geisha! And I sure as fuck ain't gonna be your personal pleasure, Urameshi!"
Kuwabara backed up as Yusuke danced his way over to the big man with surprising skill. Getting right up into Kuwabara's face, Yusuke asked on a purr, "You the one goin' round talking 'bout love all the time. Don't you wanna spread the love around?"
"Yusuke," Kurama half-heartedly reprimanded.
Cackling with laughter Yusuke settled the Hikisuri across Kuwabara's shaking shoulders and went back to poking through the ginger's new wardrobe to find something else to mercilessly tease him with. Extreme irritability consumed Kuwabara, only feed on by the sudden douche-ie behavior of his 'lovers'. He was about feed up with the bullshit his demonic companions were throwing out and they hadn't even started on the mission. How was he supposed to go two weeks acting the lovesick human to three complete assholes?
Koenma heaved a great sigh and stopped in his work, bringing about the attention of everyone else. "Your situation is not ideal, no," Koenma began, addressing Kuwabara, "But the demon you will be targeting is fascinated with flare and the unique. What can be more attention grabbing than a sole human handling three powerful demons?"
Kuwabara looked down at the floor demurely. The timid "I don't think I can seduce some guy," reminded Koenma just how young the man was. Legal by human standards, but still just a teenager, lacking the centuries of knowledge at Kurama's disposal, Hiei's early, hardening struggles in life, or Yusuke's ease to shrug everything off like nothing.
"You will not have to actively seek out the demon," Koenma said with a certain softness to his voice, "not with the kind of … allure you'll be throwing off. All you have to do is go along with everything until the opportunity to eliminate the alleged weapon he possesses against humanity."
Kuwabara glanced up through his eyelashes. "That's another thing. How'm I supposed to know what to nab if ya don't even know what the thing is yourself?"
"You'll know, Kuwabara. It will have a subtle presence of spirit energy and he'll be guarding it close to him."
"Koenma, is this really an issue that requires Kuwabara's assistance? The Makai has never been a place for humans," Kurama implored. Though he despised being associated with any kind of femininity, he could not allow the whim of one mood cloud the concern he held for his friend.
"Hey! Hey, hey, hey!" Kuwabara yelled, getting up in Kurama's face much like Yusuke'd just done. "I can handle the Makai just the same as you assholes! I fought in the second demon tournament, didn' I? And I remember makin' it farther 'long than someone did."
Hiei chuckled in the background. "He is correct. Your performance was laughable."
"Holy shit! It was freakin' hilarious! I just about pissed myself, I laughed so hard," Yusuke burst out, breaking down into a fit of uncontrollable laughter. "What kinda demon gets their ass handed to them by a little girl!"
Kurama clenched his hands into fists at his sides. They shook with the overwhelming desire to lay one on the mocking man hollering up a storm on the ground. Even Hiei was chuckling darkly in the corner of the room!
"That girl was actually a puppet to a much more powerful demon working in the backgrounds," Kurama hissed through pursed lips. "And I recognized the solution to winning that fight only seconds too late."
Yusuke sombered up at Kurama's explanation and struggled to sit upright. "So what you're saying is…"
"You got beat by a girl," Hiei finished.
Kurama's eye twitched at his friend's ruthless teasing. He remembered a similar time when they had discovered just how many hairbrushes he owned, though the teasing then was headed by Kuwabara and Keiko. He himself was a more than a little mortified by the large number of brushes he had in his possession. Somehow thirty-four seemed like an obscene amount. Quite frankly, he had no idea how he had managed to amass such a collection without recognizing the overindulgence himself. Opening his mouth to argue against Yusuke and Hiei, he was interrupted by Kuwabara.
"Shut the Hell up, Urameshi," said Kuwabara, no sting to his harsh words, "Just last week that little girl at the arcade stomped your ass at Goblin King." He turned to Kurama and winked. "I even saw him shed a few tears over the ordeal. Broke his poor little demon nonheart."
"Sonabitch! You're just cranky cause you haven' got none in a while. Don't worry, I'll have you begging for my cock tonight, bitch boy," Yusuke leered.
"Yusuke!"
This cry of indignation came from all over the room. Though Koenma, Kurama, and Botan had all shouted out their dismay at his crass, it was Hiei's quiet scold that brought shame on Yusuke. When Hiei's correcting him for bad behavior, he knows he went too far. Yusuke wore a pissed off look on his face, a default of his whenever he got into trouble. He shuffled over to Kuwabara on a stiff gait. Wordlessly, the two bumped their tense shoulders against one another, Kuwabara having to lean over severely to reach Yusuke's. One grunt left Yusuke's mouth and suddenly the both of them seemed to fall back into their usual laxness, like Yusuke hadn't spent the better part of the past hour goading Kuwabara about his part in the mission. Kuwabara smiled faintly, pulling the purple garment from his shoulders and dropping it over Yusuke's head.
"So when we gotta head out for the resort?" Kuwabara asked.
Koenma sighed in relief, glad that Kuwabara had accepted such an important mission. For a minute he thought the unusually aggressive behaviors of his three demon detectives were going to ruin the ginger's cooperation.