Early mornings with three hyperactive kids, and two grumpy ones: not my idea of a perfect vacation. Why, may you ask, were we going on vacation? Well, the "vacation" part was just a cover for another mission. Fang had found there was a huge lab where they were experimenting on avian DNA-hybrids. Probably another building full of bird kids—like us. Even though I'm the leader-all-powerful, when the younger kids get stubborn, there's going to be trouble.
Angel, Gazzy and Nudge suddenly went into full-on boycott mode when I told them we were going to go destroy another lab. Kids these days! Destroying evil scientists' labs isn't fun enough anymore. Luckily, Fang suggested it would be a vacation trip to Baltimore—then everything changed. With the help of his laptop and a few images of the harbor that I was sure were photoshopped, everyone agreed to come.
Then the coffee comes in—just wait for it. I suggested we take a break from flying. We touched down in Kansas, in this place called Junction City. Did you know there is a huge Starbucks in Junction City? I sure didn't. Until Nudge came out with a XXL Vanilla Spice Frappuccino, followed by Gazzy holding a Caramel Macchiato that was at least half as big as his head.
So now we were flying over the Kansas-Missouri border. Nudge lifted her wing a little to swerve closer to me. "Coffee is so good. Did you know that New Yorkers drink almost seven times as much coffee than other cities in the U.S.? How do they measure that? Do they ask people how much coffee they drink a day? Maybe that could be a question on the Census. 'How much coffee do you drink every day?' What if people lied? Then the whole thing would be wrong. How do the Census people know that we're not lying?" Nudge looked at me, genuinely concerned for the Census people.
"Don't know, don't care," I replied. Nudge frowned at me and went to talk to Gazzy, who was screaming his head off while making loops and figure eights in the air. Ah, the wonders of caffeine.
Fang was flying silently below me, carrying a canvas bag. By its size, I could tell it contained his precious laptop. He spent so much time on it that it was practically glued to his face. I almost laughed at the thought. "What?" he said defensively, calling from down below me. "Nothing," I said.
Iggy was flying silently to my right, with no possessions whatsoever. He looked—free. Happy. Angel was flying down below, holding Celeste dangerously by the halo. I was not going to get that back if it fell down into Missouri. Note to self: buy Celeste a leash.
Overall, the trip was going terribly. But at least the kids weren't saying—"I'm hungry!" Gazzy wailed. I groaned. "Fine, we'll stop at McDonald's." Everyone cheered—wait, no, not Fang. I folded in my wings a little. The Baltimore Avian DNA facility was going to have to wait.