Hello, Floor...
by: Strike To Incinerate
Disclaimer: Don't own. Technically, I guess the title isn't even mine... It's an Invader Zim thing. Anyways, character's belong to Square-Enix + Disney. -sniffle.-
Warning: CRACK. MAJOR CRACK.
Pairings: Zemyx, AkuRoku, MarXig (don't ask me what I was on when I wrote this... it was a while ago!)
Enjoy!
--
"Hey... Hey Roxas..." Axel began, as the three of them; Roxas, Demyx and himself, sat on the couch in his room. Roxas looked up from the pages of Sailor Moon Volume 4. "Do you know what Sailor Venus sounds like?" he asked, indicating the young woman on the cover.
"Uh... a girl?" The blond guessed.
Immediately, Axel and Demyx broke into sniggers. "No!" Demyx snorted.
Roxas blinked, and gave them a funny stare.
"Put 'p' in front of 'venus'..." Axel hinted.
"Puh-venus?" Roxas guessed lamely.
The redhead laughed even harder, and Demyx nearly fell off the couch. "Take the 'v' off first! P-e-n-u-s!"
Demyx paused for a moment. "Dolt, that isn't how it's spelled!" He said, but they both laughed harder, falling all over themselves and each other as poor, innocent Roxas stared blankly before going back to his manga.
Axel paused as number 6 passed by the doorway. "Oi! Zexion!" The violet-haired nobody stopped. "You like that domestic stuff, right?"
Zexion nodded. "If you mean cooking... then yes."
"Go make me some cookies. C-o-o-k-i-e-s, got it? No 'homemade pickles' in them, either," he instructed.
"And go make me a sammich. S-a-m-m-i-c-h, got it?" Demyx said, rolling over for a new bout of loud chuckles.
Zexion sighed. Maybe he would put too much baking soda in the cookies and raw cabbage on the 'sammich' instead of lettuce.
"That isn't how it's spelled! S-a-n-d-w-i--" Axel started.
"Do you want something too, Roxas?" Zexion asked.
"Some sea-salt ice-cream," the blond said, looking up from his manga with a pathetic 'take me with you!' expression.
Suddenly, a dark portal opened in the room, and Vexen stepped out of it. Only, he looked different. "I feel like tacos..." he said.
"Vexen, what the hell are you wearing?" Demyx asked.
"What, you don't like it?" Vexen asked, spinning around. The chains dangled on his pants. His black shirt was much too tight, and he was wearing a helluva lot of eyeliner. At first, they'd thought that maybe Larxene had attacked him and forced him to play dress up, but now they weren't so sure.
Zexion abruptly left the room.
"What is it?" Demyx persued.
"I'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be. You'd be non-conforming too, if you looked just like me," he answered.
"What's his problem?" Axel asked.
Demyx shrugged. "I dunno... I think he's upset because we lost to that Sora kid again," he guessed.
"I have paint on my nails and make-up on my face. I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs," Vexen continued.
"Okay, listen dude, that's gross," Demyx said. As Vexen began to sing, however, Demyx and Axel went from annoyed to horrified.
"Run, Roxas, RUN!" Axel shouted, grabbing the short blond by the waist and running out the door. Roxas let out a squeak of surprise.
"Leggo of me, Axel!" Roxas protested.
"Hurry, Axel!! If we make it to the kitchen--" Demyx started. Somehow, all three of them bumped into Marluxia at the same time.
The Graceful Assassin wasn't even fazed. "Shh, darlings! Have you seen Xigbar?" He asked.
"No!" Axel half-shouted. "Get out of the way!"
"There you are, Marluxia!" A gruff voice said.
Marluxia jumped as the sharpshooter grabbed the back of his shirt. "Oh, Xigbar-honey!"
Axel and Demyx became even more horrified, and Roxas was just confused.
"Don't make me get the leash." Xigbar growled, starting to drag Marluxia away.
"Aw... you know I like it when you're mean, Xigbar-honey..." Marluxia purred, latching onto his arm.
Xigbar wrapped an arm around Marluxia's lithe waist possessively, pulling him against his hip as they walked down the hall. "Shut up," he growled.
Zexion poked his head out from the kitchen. "Hey, do you guys want to try some of my homemade pickles?" He asked the two.
"Maybe later," Xigbar answered,
"Go make me a sammich!" Demyx said, pointing furiously at the fridge.
Zexion sighed and went back into the kitchen. "Aw..." Marluxia pouted. "Can't he come with us?" he whined.
"Maybe later," Xigbar answered, as Axel and Demyx rushed into the kitchen. Roxas went down the hall, delving back into the manga still in his hands.
"Hey, Roxas! Guess what Axel and Demyx are doing without you!" Larxene squealed.
Roxas stopped, intrigued.
"Oh, Demyx!" came Axel's joyous cry.
"I know, it's so big!" Demyx gushed.
"I've never seen one that big!"
Roxas blushed, his face turning bright red like a cherry or a tomato or an apple or something...
"It's so warm!"
"I can't wait to put it in my mouth!"
One the verge of nosebleeding, Roxas shouted, "That's it!" and ran back to the ktiched. "You guys--!"
Zexion, Axel and Demyx were each holding a Toll-House cookie. Axel's was rather large.
"Wanna cookie?" Demyx offered, mouth full of chocolatey chippy goodness.
Roxas nearly fainted. "You mean... you guys weren't... it was just..." he stammered.
It took Demyx and Axel half a second to realize what Roxas was talking about. Demyx swallowed and said, "You're a pervert."
Axel smiled brightly, dropping his cookie. "Oh Roxas! You know you're the only one for me!" He exclaimed, hugging him tight.
"Axel--" Roxas tried to push him off, but Axel was bigger and taller than him. "Get off!"
"Roxas, I can't believe how adorable you are when you're jealous! Green with envy, eh? No worries, I'll never cheat on you," Axel said smoothly.
Roxas was actually green because he was nauseated, but okay. "Don't make me pull out my keyblade!" He threatened.
"Ooh, fiesty. You're a real live-wire. I like that." Axel purred, nuzzling his cheek against the blond's.
Demyx sniggered, wrapping an arm around Zexion's shoulders. "That's right. I like my men domesticated."
"Axel, get off me!" Roxas continued to whine.
"Hey, Axel..." Demyx started, then sniggered and snorted.
"What?" Axel asked, looking over at him. He loosened his grip on Roxas, but didn't let him go completely.
"Hey, Axel..."
"What?!" Axel repeated, starting to get annoyed.
"You and Rox - as make a cute couple." He joked, chuckling a bit more.
"I don't get it..." Roxas whined, wriggling and trying to get away from his best friend.
"Axel and Rox - as," Demyx said, loudly and clearly.
"Hey, that's funny!" Axel agreed, punching Demyx in the shoulder.
"I still don't get it..." Roxas said, pouting.
"It's alright, Roxas," Axel soothed; Demyx snorted again, "they're way over your head." Roxas didn't complain when Axel cuddled him sympathetically this time.
"Everything is way over his head," Demyx pointed out. He and Axel dissolved into fits of laughter and Roxas and Zexion decided not to let good cookies and sea-salt ice-cream go to waste.
--
End.