Disclaimer: I do not own OTH or anything affiliated to it. If I did, Brucas would be together.
AN: Italics are lines from the show.
As soon as I saw him playing for the first time, I knew I was hooked. Ever since then, I have wanted him. I realized that I scared him when I showed up in his backseat naked. The moment I asked him whether he felt it change, I had a feeling that my life had already begun to change by his arrival. At that time, I didn't know what this meant for us but I was psyched to find out. I was ecstatic to see him having a great time on our date.
"I'm glad we did this," he said.
"What's your take on tattoos?" I queried.
"I don't know… depends," he answered.
I grabbed his hand and led him into the back room. There, I leaned against a wall while pulling him closer.
"What do you think…about… this tattoo?" I ask as I unbutton my pants.
"Mmm. That tattoo is very, very… sexy," he exclaimed.
I don't know what possessed me to show him my tattoo but I'm glad that I did. Guess I knew he would come up with a good answer. As we kiss, it was exactly how I envisaged it to be. It was hot and magical and boy, he sure did know how to kiss. The kiss was in a world of its own. As we devoured each other hungrily, I knew I was right about him all along.
888
I'm sitting outside his doorstep terrified of what might happen when I see him. I'm going through my words and I cannot help but feel I'm already losing him to her. When she told me she didn't mind us being together, I should have called her bluff but I was already enamored by him that I didn't had it in me to cut through her crap.
He's everything I ever wanted in a guy and now that I have him, I do not want to let him go. He's the first guy who sees me the way that I am and he's the only one who tells me that I do not have to pretend.
He seems surprised to see me but his face lights up a moment later. Once he settles himself, I blurt out that we needed to talk.
"Okay, I'm not sure if we have a problem, or if I have a problem," I said.
"What's the problem?" "In a nutshell, you're you and I'm me," I replied.
"Yeah but if I was you, you'd be dating yourself," he counters.
"What I mean is, I do what I do, and I like what I like, and that's just who I am," I revealed.
"I know, and that's what I love about you."
"Okay but the music that you listen to and the books that you read, I'm not into any of that stuff," I burst out.
"And I never asked you to be, okay? You know I kind of enjoy the fact that we're different," he retorts.
Its comforting hearing him reassure me. In fact, I let it slip that he is the first guy I care about. "Okay. I am sorry. It's just that you're the first really great guy that I've ever dated and that really scares me because I never gave a rats ass before, okay? But I do now."
"That's good, because I give a rat's ass about you too," he replies.
My whole body is bursting with happiness to know he feels the same way too. As he leans forward to kiss me, I feel myself letting go of all the doubts and insecurities that have been plaguing me and see us committing ourselves fully to each other.
888
She's sitting on my bed talking aloud when I let my presence known.
"So, I guess this is goodbye?" she states.
I held out my hand and she stands. We hug each other firmly before letting go. I look at her for a beat before pulling her forward. As we kissed, I tried my level best to convey my feelings for her. Once we break apart, I stared deeply into her eyes willing her to understand what this meant.
However, she looks dumbfounded.
"Tell me that was a goodbye kiss."
Instead, I drop a bombshell on her "I wanna be with you, Brooke."
She looks flabbergasted.
"I'm sorry. I know we're friends… it's just how I feel," I proclaim.
"What about Peyton's stuff?" she queries.
"I keep that stuff as a reminder of how badly I screwed up things, with you. To remind myself, if I ever get a second chance, I'd never let you go again."
She seems thunderstruck.
There is a loud honk from the cab and I'm hoping she says something.
She's in tears as she utters she has to leave.
She walks by me slowly and I call out "Brooke?"
She turns around.
"You think… you could ever-"
She holds up her hand and despondently says "I'm sorry I… I gotta go... Bye!"
I look at the door morosely before whispering, "Have a nice summer, Brooke."
888
There's a knock on my door and I'm perplexed to see her at the other end. She's holding a box in her hand when she confesses "There are eighty-two letters in here… and they're all addressed to you."
I'm mystified but I take the box from her.
"I wrote them all this summer. One a day, but I never sent them because I was afraid…" I'm in shock as I gaze at her.
"Brooke-", I state.
However, she cuts me off and declares "I was afraid of getting my heart broken again. Like before. Coz you hurt me so bad and… I was afraid to be vulnerable and I was afraid of you and the way that you make me feel and I know that doesn't matter now, after what I did… but I just thought that you should know."
She looks so vulnerable with tears rolling down her cheeks.
"This is how I spent my summer, Luke; wanting you."
I regard her in amazement when she blurts"I was just too scared to admit it."
When she walks away, it takes me a second to register before I ran after her.
"Brooke! I'm sorry," I cried out.
She looks bewildered.
I divulge "What you did with Chris; it's okay."
She declares "It's not. It can't be. It's too much to forgive!"
Yes, I was mad when I found out. However, after listening to her explanations, I find it easy to overlook what she did.
I insist "Well that's too bad, because I forgive you."
"You can't!"
I affirm"I just did. So you're gonna just have to deal with it."
"I'm the guy for you, Brooke Davis… and I know I hurt you last time we were together but-"
Before I finish, she professes "I love you."
I am blown away by her confession and I reply"I love you too."
Her face lights up and I am happy to see her so blissful. I slowly caress her face and nickname her "Pretty girl." She moves forward and our lips meet in a searing kiss. We stood for a long time kissing and all the while, I was beaming with joy that I had my Cheery back with me.
888
She's cooking dinner for me and I'm excited to see how she fares. I'm carrying my next letter and I hope she likes it. I see her smiling at first, but by the end of the letter she's furious.
"What's wrong with the last line: 'you're mine forever'. It sounds pretty damn good to me."
She shouts "Yeah, it sounds great. It sounded even better when I read it the first time, last spring, in another letter you wrote – to Peyton!"
Next thing I know she grabbed her coat and was out the door.
I run after her yelling "STOP! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!"
She screams "RIDICULOUS? I FOUND THAT LETTER IN YOUR SAD-BOX TO PEYTON, WHATEVER, IN YOUR CLOSET! DEAR PEYTON, BLAH BLAH BLAH, YOU'RE MINE FOREVER, LOVE LUCAS!"
I yell "I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WRITING THAT!"
She's pissed as she shouts "WELL YOU DID! LOOKS LIKE FOREVER JUST GOT A LOT SHORTER!"
I call her name saying I'm sorry. I try to take her arm but she shakes me off.
I holler "IT WAS A MISTAKE!"
She whirls around angrily screaming "WHICH TIME; WHEN YOU WROTE IT TO ME OR PEYTON?!"
I bellowed "YOU KNOW YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS SNOOPING THROUGH MY CLOSET! Look, I know you feel vulnerable about what you wrote to me in your letters-"
"THAT IS NOT WHY I'M UPSET RIGHT NOW! AND FYI, I AM NOT YOUR RECYCLING BIN!" she shouts as she stomps away.
I yell "NO, YOU'RE PSYCHOTIC!"
I wait for a beat before going after her again. I tell her I'm sorry for the remark made. I then jokingly tell her that No, she's not psychotic but maybe a little disturbed.
She stops to face me before shrieking "You think this funny?!"
I reply "Know what I think? I think you're trying to sabotage us. Find any reason you can to end it. So that you don't have to worry about getting hurt again."
She questions "The exact same words?!"
I shook my head as I replied "I never sent that letter to Peyton."
She states "I never sent my letters to you either but they still meant something!"
She looks at me before asking "Just tell me, why me this time. Why not Peyton?"
I respond "I can't say anything bad about Peyton. She's my friend, and she's your best friend!"
She replies "That's okay; you can say bad things about her." I shake my head sadly while uttering her name.
Of all the times, I have been with her; she has never been more vulnerable than she is now. To hear the sound of fear creeping in her voice when she asks me why it is her that I want breaks my heart. She looks so small and broken and all I want to do is to hold her telling her how much I love her.
I shake my head while telling her "The truth is, I care about Peyton."
She retaliates "Then what is the difference?"
I declare "The difference… the difference is I love you, Brooke. I wanna be with you, not Peyton."
She looks at me dejectedly as she questions "But why? I need to know why."
It is devastating to hear her asking for a reason on why I love her. It's sad she doesn't believe she deserves to be love for the way she is.
I confess "Because you… kink your eyebrow when you're trying to be cute; because you quote Keimoo, even though I've never actually seen you read! And because… you miss your parents but you'll never ever admit that. And because… I've given exactly two of these embarrassing speeches in my entire life… and they've both been with you." She's smiling slightly though she doesn't answer. "I mean that's… gotta mean something, right? And because we're both… gonna get pneumonia… but if you need to hear why I love you, I can go on all night."
She answers "You did pretty good" before stepping closer and kissing me.
The kiss is like a scene in a movie. The night is cold and the air is chilly. We are soaked to the bone and shivering, yet it is romantic kissing her in the pouring rain. We must have stood there for quite some time but it didn't matter as we were together once again.
888
It has been a long and hard day. His uncle, Keith was shot and killed in the high school shooting incident. Due to the loss of Keith, he's been moody and angry. I'm trying to be supportive but he keeps shutting me out. I'm afraid that we will never be able to get through Keith's death as a couple. I'm resting on his bed when he walks in.
"Hey pretty girl," he says.
I love it when he calls me that. I informed him that I wanted to sleep in my car but then I heard a noise and I thought it was a bear, so I decided to crash with him. He laughs once he hears my suspicion before lying down beside me.
He asks "Have I told you how much I love you, today?" I replied not really.
He says "Well I do. And even when I don't tell you, it means a lot to me to know you're there. It means everything."
I tell him "I am here. We both are."
He answers "I know. It's good being here. Especially with you."
I stare into his eyes deeply before revealing "I wish that it was me. I know that's horrible, and I know it's selfish but…. I watched you rescue Peyton and you told me you rescued Dan. Sometimes I just wish you could rescue me."
He questions "From what?"
I announce "From all of it."
He attests "I will. If you promise to rescue me back."
"Promise," I replied.
He touches my face as he kisses me gently. The kiss feels different than the others we shared. It symbolises our promise to rescue one another as we manoeuvre through life's obstacles together. As we continue kissing, I get this feeling in the pit of my stomach and I realize kissing him is like coming home.
888
It's Naley's second wedding and I'm the maid of honour while he's the best man. The day has not turned out great for me. My best friend and I got into a huge blow out about him. Ever since then, I have warned him to stay away from her. We were swaying to the music when he asks about the fight. Instead of answering, I suggested that maybe he should tell me about it.
He exclaims "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Peyton told me some things about the two of you," I claimed.
He answers "I know that you're worried about my past with Peyton but you have to understand the circumstances this time, you know? I mean, she was bleeding and she thought she was gonna die. It meant nothing."
I'm stun when he says they kissed. "What kiss? Did you kiss her again?" I shriek.
He looks down in shame and I leave the dance floor.
I'm in the back room trying to find my purse when he appears.
"I need you to listen to me, okay? I'm sorry you didn't know about the kiss and I'm sorry for springing it on you but I meant what I said. It didn't mean anything," he recites.
"A kiss always means something," I reveal.
He counters "Okay, you're right but it wasn't a romantic moment! And you would know that if-"
"If what, I was there? As you so sweetly pointed out at the party- the party that I threw for you- I wasn't there, was I?" I announce as he hands me another purse to look through.
"Is it possible for you to forgive me? I forgave you," he states.
"For what?" I shout.
"For sleeping with Chris Keller," he divulges.
The words he spat were a slap to my face.
I began to cry as I utter "You know what Lucas, I loved you for that. You had such grace in that moment that I fell in love with you all over again. I can't believe that you would use it now as a bargaining chip."
"I'm not- I'm not- I'm not. I just- I need you to believe me when I tell you that my heart is with you. But a part of me feels like, ever since we got back together YOU'VE BEEN WAITING TO PUSH ME AWAY," he roared.
I'm piss that he blames me when it's clearly his fault. "Oh great! You kiss Peyton AGAIN and I'm pushing you away!"
I move to grab another purse before slamming it on the table.
"God! Why did I make everybody identical purses as wedding gifts?!" I shriek.
"I love you Brooke. I don't know how else to say it."
I'm full blown out crying as he doesn't understand and I wonder whether he knows me at all.
"How about, how you show it? I am not pushing you away Lucas, I am holding on for dear life! But I need you to need me back! I mean, why didn't you tell me about the kiss and why didn't you call me while you were away and why won't you ever just let me all the way in?!" I sob as I pound his chest with my fists.
Once I have calmed, I say "We have to go give our toasts now. About love" as I move to the door.
"Please don't be mad at me Brooke," he says.
I stop and turned around.
I look at him forlornly before answering "I'm not mad, Lucas. Not mad."
I'm actually devastated that the boy I love has no clue who I really am. All I want is for him to show how much I mean to him. I know that I'm insecure but I have a right to be after what happened the last time we were together.
Lucas takes the stage to give his speech. "The last time I gave a speech about Nathan and Haley was, well, at their first reception. And I remember saying 'Prepare to be surprised'. Well I have to say even I'm surprised. Because, you see they do something very rare to see in someone our age. Actually, it's very rare to see in anybody. They give their hearts to each other, unconditionally. And that's what true love really is: It's not this fairytale life that never knows pain. But it's two souls facing it together, diminishing it with unconditional love. To Nathan and Haley Scott."
His speech is beautiful and I'm nervous since I'm next. "I'm not the most eloquent speaker so I decided to borrow a few words from Shakespeare: Love is not love, which alters, when it alteration finds. When life gets hard, when things change, true love remains the same. I look at Nathan and Haley and somehow I feel safer. I don't know if I can explain that, but, they give me hope. And I'm afraid to say it out loud because maybe if life finds out it'll try to beat it out of them and that would be a shame. Because we could all use a little hope sometimes, you know? That feeling that everything is going to be okay and that there's someone there to make sure of that. So, here's to Nathan and Haley; here's to hope; and here's to a love that will not alter." Everyone awwhs as Nathan and Haley kiss and I am happy that everyone loves my toast.
I'm consoling Mouth when he comes over. Mouth walks off when he sees him by my side.
"So we never finished that conversation," he says.
"Dance with me," I say.
"Did you miss me while you were away?" I ask.
"Everyday. I was just angry and upset about Keith but that doesn't mean I didn't miss you Brooke. Because I did," he confesses.
"I needed to hear your voice. There was just so much stuff going on with me and-"
"What kind of stuff?" he cuts me off.
Instead of replying, I kiss him. Deep down, I knew this was our last kiss. Thus, I poured my heart and soul into it. Somehow, I had the distinct feeling that he knew I was lost to him. Our last kiss was bittersweet and poignant. After breaking the kiss, I leaned into his embrace as I tried to memorize all the details of him before I left us. He held me close as we swayed to the music.
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