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KP © Disney.
Whether you've been naughty or nice, you deserve to read Mr. Wizard's Advent, a powerful short story. Check it out – you won't be disappointed.
Kim rolled her eyes as she surveyed the scene. "This is so not the way to keep a secret government facility secret," she observed tartly.
Ron stroked his chin. "True," he agreed as he took in the large wreath and blinking colored lights that festooned the gray steel door. Then his gaze fell upon something to his left. "But you've got to admit, the inflatable reindeer playing poker is a nice touch."
Kim glowered at her long-time boyfriend and partner. "The only nice touch would be if these scientists got a real security system for Christmas." She grabbed his hand and began walking. "Come on, let's go."
"Uno momento, KP," Ron said as he fished around in his cargo pants pocket for something.
"Ron," she said, not bothering to hide her impatience. She was not happy about having been called away from the annual Possible family Christmas gathering. However, as inconvenient and annoying as the situation was, saving the world was what she did and a villain with a pan-dimensional vortex inducer would have been so the Yuletide drama.
"Got it!" he declared as he held aloft some watercress.
"And you're carrying salad, why?"
Ron rubbed the back of his neck. "I, uh, couldn't reach the mistletoe."
Kim's scowl melted into a warm smile. "You are so weird," she said as she pulled him in for a warm kiss. "It's a good thing I love weird," she whispered into his ear when she was done curling his toes.
"Ah-booyah," a goofily grinning Ron said.
Satisfied, Kim smirked. "Okay, Romeo, let's take down the bad guy so we can ace this place. If we do this fast enough, we might still be able to catch the end of the Christmas skit."
She quickly located an air vent and, moments later, the two college seniors were making their way to the heart of the facility. It wasn't long before they heard a familiar voice wafting up through a grille: "With this I will finally get the Christmas present I've always wanted: total global domination!"
"Drakken," growled a very tweaked Kim.
"Man, when will blue boy ever learn?" Ron asked.
"… The only thing you'll be getting is a lump of coal …"
Kim and Ron came to an abrupt stop. She turned and looked back over her shoulder. "I wonder who that is?"
"Dementor maybe? He's always been about the pan dimensional vortex thingie."
Kim shook her head. "Good theory, but only if he's dropped the accent."
"Maybe he took a class or something?"
The expression on Kim's face told Ron his girlfriend wasn't convinced. "Okay," he said, ceding the point, "But if it's not Dementor, who is it?"
"There's only one way to find out," she said as she began to remove the grate.
"… Nnnnggh! Let go!" Drakken cried out in frustration. "Shego, help!"
"On it, Drew," she said. "Okay, Pops, drop the goods and nobody gets hurt."
"I'm sorry, young lady, but I really need this."
"And so does Doctor D, though why I don't know …"
"Shego! Is that any way to speak to your fiancé?"
"Can it," she snapped. "And, speaking of cans, Pops, you can give me that one now."
"I'm sorry," the still unfamiliar voice, which was deep and rich, said, "but he can't have it."
"Whatever," Shego said with the confidence of a master criminal about to steal candy from a baby. "If you won't give it to me, I'll just have to take it."
"Bring it," the voice replied serenely as Kim set the grille aside and dropped through the opening, landing gracefully on her feet. Ron followed her, although he tripped as he landed and wound up sprawled on the floor.
"Okay, you will never see a stranger sight," Ron said as he got up, his eyes glued to the surreal and unforgettable image of a very portly man with a flowing white beard and rosy cheeks, red suit trimmed with white, and tall black boots, executing a flawless back flip to dodge an otherwise well-placed blast of comet energy from Shego.
"Understatement much?" Kim replied as the glamorous henchwoman had to fall back from a wicked spin kick.
"Kim Possible!" Drakken exclaimed.
"And boyfriend!" Ron added cheerfully.
"Who will not be ruining my Christmas this year. Henchmen!" Drakken called out towards an adjoining room.
"Sorry, boss, we're, uh, kind of busy," a beleaguered voice called back.
"Ron, get me the 411," Kim said as she advanced on Drakken.
"On it!" he said as he ran over and peeked in. "Coolio!"
"What's the sitch?" Kim asked him.
"Drakken's goons are looking like the losers in a GWA smackdown," Ron called back over his shoulder. "Oh yeah! The Half Nelson rocks!"
Kim was about to say something when Shego sailed by her and into the wall. "Oy …" the villainess groaned.
"Er, uh, maybe we can talk this through," Drakken said nervously as a clearly displeased Santa advanced on him.
"There's nothing to discuss," the red-suited man replied. "You're going to give me the vortex inducer. Then you're going to take Shego home, make her some egg nog, and tuck her into bed."
"But it's Christmas!" Drakken wailed. "I want my fair share."
"If I were you, I'd go now," the man cautioned. "Otherwise I can guarantee Mama Lipsky's fondest dream will come true this year."
Drakken gasped. "You wouldn't dare."
"Actually, I would and I will."
Drakken's shoulders slumped in defeat. He turned to Shego, gently picked her up, carried her to the hover car and climbed in after her. As Drakken piloted the vehicle towards the hole he'd blasted through the facility's wall, he defiantly shook his fist. "You think you're all that, Santa Claus, but you're not!" he cried out as he flew into the inky dark December night.
"Well, I'll be going now," Saint Nick said as he hefted the vortex inducer.
"I don't think so," Kim said sternly, her arms crossed, and her face etched with disappointment. "I never thought I'd say this, but, Santa, you're busted."
"You know, if I can take Shego, I can take you," he countered.
"Maybe," she said doubtfully, before Ron joined her and she took his hand in hers. "But I don't think you can take me and the Monkey Master."
"KP's got you there, big guy," Ron said. "Even if your awesome elves have mastered the entire GWA playbook, you'll be going down."
"What if I told you I know Monkey Kung Fu?" he asked, dropping into a stance known only to adept practitioners of Tai Xing Pek War.
"I'd say that was pretty cool, but it still wouldn't help you. I've got the Kim Factor."
Kim cooed, Ron beamed, and Santa sighed.
"Fine. So now what?" Kris Kringle asked.
"First, you tell us why you've taken up a life of crime," Kim said evenly.
"Oh! Let me guess!" Ron offered. "The Internet's undermined your business model!"
Both Kim and Santa cocked their eyebrows.
"Or maybe not," Ron added quickly.
"I haven't started a life of crime," Santa averred.
"And yet the evidence suggests otherwise," Kim said as she looked at the PDVI in Santa's hand.
"I was going to bring it back," he said.
"Riiiight," a disbelieving Kim replied.
"Look," he explained. "I need to be in billions of homes within just the space of a few hours. How do you think I do that?"
"You run lots of red lights?" Ron asked.
"You manipulate space-time," Kim said.
"Exactly," Santa said, clearly impressed, though not surprised, by Kim's ability to comprehend matters so quickly.
"But why steal the pan-dimensional vortex inducer?"
"I prefer secret borrowing," Santa answered.
"Dude, you so don't want to go there," Ron said sagely. The expression on Kim's face told Saint Nick that Ron knew that of which he spoke.
"The trans-dimensional carburetor on the old sled gave up the ghost tonight," Santa explained. "I'd heard about this little baby and decided it would do the trick."
"But why break in?" Kim asked. "Why didn't you just ask the scientists if you could borrow it?"
"I tried calling, but they'd left early," Santa said. "All I got was voicemail and that blasted automated menu."
Kim and Ron nodded sympathetically.
"So what do you think, KP?" Ron wondered.
"You'll really bring it back when you're done?" Kim asked Santa.
"Promise," he replied, holding his hand up like a Boy Scout.
"Wait a minute," a suddenly suspicious Ron said. "How do we know you're really Santa? You could be a synthodrone or something, maybe some alien zombie bent on taking over the world."
"As weird as it may be, Ron has a point," Kim said.
A twinkle in his eye, Santa smiled knowingly at Kim and Ron. "Would a synthodrone or alien zombie know that the present each of you most wanted when you were four years old wasn't a cuddle buddy," he said looking at Kim, "or an eight track tape of Snowman Hank's Holiday Hits," he offered, gazing at Ron, "but a best friend? Or that Ronald has in his pocket the present Kimberly most wants for this Christmas and she has the one he most desires?"
"And why do you think I want watercress for Christmas?" Kim asked sarcastically, thinking about what Ron had pulled from his pocket earlier – until it occurred to her that her boyfriend might be carrying something else with him. The all-too-forced look of nonchalance on his face and his shuffling of feet told her he was.
"Ron?" she asked hopefully.
"Uh, well, this isn't quite the way I'd planned on doing this, but …" he stammered.
"Why don't you just let me go and let you two enjoy this moment?" Santa offered.
Kim and Ron exchanged a look and nodded. Then she turned to Santa. "Okay, but if the pan dimensional vortex inducer isn't back here by midnight on the 26th, Ron and I and a platoon of Global Justice's finest will be paying you a visit at the North Pole and the present you'll be getting is a one-way trip to Cellblock D."
"Fair enough," Santa said. "Come on, boys," he called to his comrades, "we've got some presents to deliver!"
The squad of pro-wrestling-loving-elves hurried from the other room exchanging high-fives and then jumped into the grand red sleigh.
"Hey, dude, one question," Ron asked as Santa climbed into his present-laden sled.
"You should be asking that of Kimberly if you want to know her answer," Saint Nick answered playfully, causing both heroes to blush. "On Dasher, On Vixen—"
"Wait," Kim called out. "I know what Ron was going to ask and, to be honest, I'd like to know, too."
"What was it Mama Lipsky wanted for Christmas?" Santa asked, eliciting two nods. He laughed heartily. "She wants Drew and Shego to be married and invite her to live with them in their new split-level lair!" He then snapped the reins to urge the reindeer on. "On Prancer, On Dancer …"
Santa called out the names of the rest of his reindeer. Kim and Ron watched with wonder as the reindeer and sleigh took off. "Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas!" Santa lustily called over his shoulder before the sky in front of him dilated and the sled disappeared into the vortex with a flash of brilliant light.
"Well, that was different," Kim finally said after the sky returned to normal.
"Yeah," Ron agreed.
"So," said Kim, her eyes alight with anticipation. "Do you have a present for me?"
Ron grinned sheepishly. "I was kind of planning on luring you to the tree house …"
"If it's what I think it is, I am so not waiting to get back to Middleton."
"Gotcha," he said as he reached into his pocket and dropped down to one knee. "So, Kim, will you marry me?"
"You so bet I will," she replied.
"Badical," he said as he took off her mission glove and slipped the ring onto her finger.
"Merry Christmas, Ron," she said as she looked down on her hand.
"You too, KP," he said before she pulled him to his feet and embraced him. He was surprised when she reached into his other pocket. "Uh, Kim?"
"You don't think I'm going to let this go to waste, do you?" she asked as she pulled out the watercress, which she then held above their heads as she brought her lips to those of her new fiancé…
… who woke up with a start.
"KP!" he exclaimed before he rolled off the couch.
Kim snorted, then knelt down to help her boyfriend to his feet. "Enjoy the nap?"
As he got up, Ron looked around the Possibles' living room, which was decorated for Christmas. Open presents were scattered about and the Doctors P, the Stoppables, and Nana sat around the dining room table drinking egg nog and chatting.
"Where are the Tweebs?" he asked.
"Snowball fight with Hana and Rufus," she said.
Ron shook his head. "Your brothers don't stand a chance."
"Not so much," she said with a huge smile.
Ron then looked down and noticed Kim's hands. Her ring finger was bare. She was surprised when he turned thoughtful.
"What is it?' Kim demanded.
He answered sagely, "Ron Stoppable knows that sometimes you should marinate, other times procrastinate."
"Oh?" she replied with a smirk. "And which of these times is this?"
"Neither," he said as he reached into his pocket, and dropped to his knee.
Kim brought her hands to her mouth when she saw what Ron was holding. "Yes!"
"What?" he stammered, caught off guard. "I haven't even asked!"
"I so don't care," she said as she dropped down before him and threw her arms around him.
"So I guess this means you'll marry me?" he said as they embraced.
Kim pulled back, cocked an eyebrow and grinned. "What do you think?"
"I think we need some watercress," he said as he noticed the mistletoe was out of reach.
"Excuse me?" she asked.
"I'll explain some other time," he offered with a lopsided, goofy grin.
"You are so weird," she said fondly.
"Hey, I am what I is," Ron said with a disarming shrug.
"Yes, you are, future Mister Possible," Kim said softly as she drew closer to him.
"Coolio," he whispered as he brought his lips to those of his new fiancée …
The End.
Merry Christmas and Seasons Greetings to one and all!