Title: Psyche
Pairing: Hidan X Konan
Summary: Love is a killer...I got a target on my back for a cupid dressed in black.. (reference from the song "Love is a killer" by Vixen)
This idea was actually my dear friend`s BeautifulMai or you can also find her on DA as RiseDarkMoon...as you can see, her imagination is quite creative and it really was a pleasure for me to write it down for all to read ^^
Hope you enjoy reading it! And don`t forget to review once in a wile :P
"...love...it`ll be the death of me..."
"..."
I can consider myself a voyager. I have been traveling for such a long time that I don`t remember quite how long I`ve been doing that.
Do you ever have that feeling as if you are trapped into the present time, the notions like "future" and "past" being a faraway illusion...just travel...as much as I can...sometimes I feel as if I am being sucked into a void of nothingness...I live...I see...but that feeling of euphoria when you`ve seen everything around the world, when you finally accomplished everything you dreamed of and got a full baggage of experiences...that feeling never reached me...
Sometimes I find myself perched up on the tallest building, gazing at the world beneah me...my expression would become taut with attention as I would study it with curiosity.
What is it so fascinating in a crowd of houses, being cut in straight or curved lines , in which cars glide continually , small from that height, and people swarming in all directions, like midgets in a country of giants? The colors? The beauty of some buildings or some averted churches? The obliteration itself , suggesting the huge amound of power accumulated on a tide expansion in which the human eye couldn`t behold? How much of energy and thinking was wasted for this city to acquire life, with all that was visible, without its cement blocks , apart its windows, shafts, its parks? It`s youth?
I remember it was a little store in the most bizarre street of this city. I heard some people say that this place is haunted, as unreal as it sounds, some say that it might be a refuge for an eldritch dark cult and it is said that customers who had the courage to enter that place were never seen alive after that. Those rumors only feed my curiosity rather than scare me away. Others may think of me as odd or completely out of my mind as I found myself standing in front of the store in question. But as odd as this may be, this place has a strange energy that attracts me in an unexplicable way..
Looking from up close I could clearly see the slowly decaying building, the windowpanes were bare and its color fading, the walls were filled with obscene graffiti, the obvious form of vandalism..From there the store seemed like an old person, tired from all the problems life threw its way and now is waiting for it`s etern slumber...it has a sad air around it and at the same time a mysterious aura that gave the impression the old shop hid dark secrets, concealed with it`s simplicity.
The few wooden stairs creaked as I climbed carefully till I reached the old door, barely hanging in its hinges. It seemed like an old horror film as I slowly opened the door , a part of me expecting childishly a murderer coming out of no where, ready to attack me but I was only met with a seemingly abandoned shop...
My eyes traveled through the interior and I had to adjust to the dim light that stretched over the entire place to be able to see properly..all the antiquated furniture was covered with dust, it seemed as if it wasn`t cleaned and taken care of for years, spider webs were covering all the dark corners of the room and the space was outflanked with the smell of degradated wood and frowst air... as I continued with my inspection, the feeling of deja vu reached me.
I had the sudden impression that I have been there before..but I didn`t have time to ponder too much over that, because my eye catched something almost phantomatic in a dark corner from my left side. Approaching slowly and a little heedful to the mysterious object that caught my attention, it revealed to be a cage of some sort ..
Bending down a bit and looking closely, I glimpsed the most beautiful butterfly I have ever seen in my entire life. The royal blue brought me one of the few memories I hold dear ,of the times I used to stay on the sandy beach, gazing at the endless sea outstretched before my eyes in the light of the approaching twilight...that creature appeared to be as magical as the moments I experienced back then..."who got you in this cage little one?"
"Hello beautiful, looking for something?" the sudden interruption of my musings startled me as I spun around to look at the owner of the voice.I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn`t hear him enter the room, completely out of character for my part as I am known to be always composed and on guard given any situation .
Standing beside one of the dirty windows I was able to see him properly from the silver light coming from the moon. He was smiling at me in a charming way, but I couldn`t help but notice that it appeared to be a bit unsettling on his young features..
"Good evening Sir. I apologise for intruding like this, I am aware that it is unapropiate for me to enter at this late hour, seeming as the store may be closed by now."I replied to him as I regained my composure, acting as a well educated woman should.
The man didn`t seem to be upset by my self inviting, he only regarded me amusingly as if I have done something worth of laughing.
"Nahh people always snuck here to look at those frigging insects, so no worry, it doesn`t bother me ,really "he said that phrase like an every day conversation but I couldn`t help but notice the dark tone hidden under it
"By the way, call me Hidan Miss, those freaking formalities gives me headaches, seriously." He drawled while leaning on the windowpane in a casual manner.
Wait...there are more?
I searched the room with my eyes till they came upon numerous cages hanged from the ceiling. I looked around and discovered that the paper walls were also full of cages ..they were holding captive thousands butterflies or could I have possibly missed that? They were everywhere, I was surrounded by them and in the stillness of the night I could almost hear the fluttering of their little wings.
How strange...there seemed to be a hidden light, like a weak glow inside of them, as if they were outside of this world belonging to something ethereal and unreachable for the human hand...
"Are those real?"I couldn`t help but ask, my curiosity taking a tool of me
"As real as a freaking butterfly can be."came his response, a wicked smile adoring his face...I didn`t stay to ponder too much about it, I was too entranced by those unique creatures..
"May I touch them?"my eyes shifted to him, waiting patiently for the confirmation, but he only gave me a lazy smirk before shaking his head as if I was a naive child who isn`t able to comprehend the dangers of the world.
"To do that, you have to open those cages but then those little fellas might fly away and I would have to collect new ones, which would be a pain in the frigging ass, seriously, not exactly my cup of tea to chase like a crazy buffoon a bunch of insects, really " sighing, he turned to me with a strange expression on his face.
"Do you know Konan? New ones wouldn`t be as special as those "he indicated with his hand toward the cages holding the blue butterflies.
Odd, I cannot seem to recall ever telling him my name...for some strange reason this man was stiring a feeling of nervousness inside of me..
He gave me the impression that I knew him from somewhere, but from where? I was positive that I haven`t seen him in my entire life...but, why this familiar feeling persisted?
I riveted my attention back to him, determined to analyze all his features in hopes of finding some spark of familiarity to be able to recognize him. He appeared to be unperturbed by my scrutinize watching me with that look that seemed to tell me he knew something I was not aware of. Letting out a dark laugh he stared appretiatively at something out of my vision. I slowly turned my eyes in the same direction only to come upon a sign hanged on the wooden door. The words were a little smudged from the time, but I was able to discern what it was written on it
"Your humble soul collector."
A peculiar slogan for my point of view...
My ears sensed movement and I immediately snapped my attention in his direction, he was advancing toward me slowly...I took cautiously a step back..
"You ran away, have you forgotten the blue butterfly? Fuck, let me rephrase that heh, let`s say some of your parts run away from here...most of them were your memories...that`s some complicated shit, alright."he told me all this which such fineness that I would have thought he was engaging me in a amiable conversation if the words weren`t so out of place.
"What are you talking about?"I stared at him, challenging him with my eyes to answer me and he did just that without hesitance.
"You died a long time ago on this very street then your soul for reasons I have no fucking clue turned into thousands butterflies and flew away from the earth...this seems simple enough for that pretty head of yours to fucking understand?"
I found that extremely offensive, was he mocking my intelligence? He has a smirk plastered on his face and was watching me with a look akin to sadistic pleasure ..I felt so unnerved by this bizarre occurrence...who was this man? What business did he had with me if he claimed he was well informed in my "supposed" death? Maybe it wasn`t a bright idea to inspect this place afterall, this man was proving me by the second how ill minded he really was..
"Your words don`t make any sense at all. I am very much alive like yourself."
I could only watch bewildered as the man let out a deep throaty chuckle before he brust into a full hysterical laugher.
His laugh was dark and hideous, I couldn`t stop the goosebums showing onto my skin. I stood unmoving, watching appaled the clearly mad man in front of me till his last chuckle echoed into the darkness of the night. When his gleaming eyes snapped on my form I barely managed to stop that slight tremor passing through my body.
"Then, how about this? try to remember where are you living gorgeous."he looked at me expectantly as I struggled to form words but with no avail. How is it possible that I cannot seem to remember where I am living? Have I traveled for so long that I have forgotten such a trivial thing as knowing my own home?
"Tell me something about a person you know." He continued his questioning assault as he again took advance toward me.
I was so shocked when my mind went blank with information that I didn`t even have any strength to depart myself from his approaching figure. He must have sensed my silent distress and frustration as he let out again a bark of laugher at my expense, seeming pleased with my internal conflict.
"Just tell me angel, how the heck I know your name? if you remember your name that`s it...hihiheheh.."
I absorbed every detail of him with calculating eyes, churning the information around my head and trying to determine what I was supposed to do in that situation..
What was it with this man? What was it with this outlandish behaviour? Was he trying to tell me that I am a lost soul, damned to haunt the earth for eternity? This was unreal and without logic...I couldn`t be dead, that is not possible...My name is...I live in...
My eyes widened with realization as panic began to wash over me in waves...all this time I`ve been traveling, it felt as if I was in a small boat floating endlessly on the ocean, never knowing the time, or day seeing and doing the same thing repetitively like a broking record...all this time I was trapped in a sort of purgatory and I never realized this...my whole "existence " was a lie till now...
"..But...how.."my words came out raspy as I stared unblinking at his approaching form, wishing desperately for answers I knew for sure he could give me... whishing that this was only a part of his mind games in order to satisfy his perverse pleasure in seeing me muddleheaded and frightened, confirming me that the harsh consequential my mind seemed to make wasn`t substantial.
I didn`t even flinch when his cold fingers touched my face in a comforting manner being aware it was false and mocking.
"Che, you didn`t even remember me...If you did, you wouldn`t enter this fucked up place again and again..."
He continued to caress my skin as I was too transfixed by his gleaming violet eyes to make a move to stop his actions.
" ..as a matter of fact, who would want to come face to face with "
then he bend down till he was at the same level with me to whisper those two fatal words in my ear:
" their killer..."
Those two words echoed over and over again in my mind as a suffocation pressure crushed my heart.
I didn`t know how to react, my thoughts were a tangle of different emotions, I was reduced into state of utter distress.
"I have nothing, I am nothing..."
This phrase kept screaming into my head like a mantra..I am dead!... I looked at him accusely, what have you done to me? This man...no,this murderer... he took a life without remorse, only for the twisted pleasure only his ill mind could cherish, I`felt only abhorrence for him , I wanted him to experience the same feeling of oppression I did . But still, I couldn`t do anything to reverse the tragedy.
He was regarding me in a way I could only describe as lackadaisical...as if he was watching an inured thing and I was overcoming with anger as the seconds passed. My pusillanimity for this man was gone and was replaced with pure fury, considering he couldn`t do me any more damage that this.
"I.. despise you." I managed to ground those words out, but his expression remained unfazed by my venomous tone.
"I figured this may happen.."he murmured while staring unabashed into my anger filled eyes. He let his hand linger a bit on my cheek,before turning around sharply, swaggering arrogantly toward the numerous cages. The urge to dispose of him grew even more my narrowed gaze followed his every movement attentively.
"Like I said before, after your frigging death your body turned into thousand butterflies like everyone.." he started to narrate as if we were old friends and that made my suppressed rage grow even further...I could even taste the tension that filled the air...this man didn`t have any morals, a conscience... he didn`t feel any remorse for what he had done. The way he confessed that I was not the only one he had slaughtered made me nauseous...God knows how many unfortunate people suffered the same treatment as me..
"I collected some parts of your soul as much as I fucking could and locked them into those cages so you can never leave me...lots of fucking time passed and after a while I got bored of collecting those flippery things and I didn`t want to grow old between those fucking cages either...waste of time, seriously.. "
The more I listened to that the more my abhor for him increased...that monster didn`t deserve to live,he didn`t have any right to prig someone elses existence and as much as it pained me to hear him relate all his wrong doings I needed to be in the know of my deadliness. I choose to stay silent and listen patiently even though I wanted nothing more than to torture him mercilessly..
"So I decided to set them free and those little freaks flew away like bats out of the fucking Hell...one of them almost poked me in the frigging eye once..."his expression softened into one of reminiscence as he touched one of the many crates almost lovingly..
"I opened a different cage everyday...months passed and this fucking shithole was continuing to lose its ambiance with all those runaways .."by now he appeared to be in a trance, his words spilling out like a waterfall and his face was contorted into a raunchy grimace.
"Then I started to open your soul cages, the most beautiful butterflies I ever caught...the reason you don`t remember any shit is because your memories flew away."he growled before opening one of the hutches roughly, few of those stupendous beings slipping through the opening delicately, chasing their liberty.
I took into consideration all he unveiled me...with an ache in my chest I deemed that explication plausible enough for my forgotten recollections .
My amber eyes followed him sorrowfully as I stood paralyzed into the same spot, feeling as if the ground was slipping away from under my feet...I was beyond hope, I mused bitterly. Gone were the urges to impeach him of his misdoings, the need to scream and shout in his face all the hateful words he deserved...what good will it do to me? I would not attain anything to be worth from it.
I don`t know if my soul would be able to accept resignation sometime...I was still too young for my life to finish brutally...I presume I had unfinished goals to fulfill and magnificent things to achieve...out of my own volition I abandoned my loved ones out there,even if I couldn`t remember their existence...and even if I have lost all that, I wanted to know one more thing..
"Why did you kill me if you wished to be with me?"I called out softly, not sure if he heard me. But the way he paused in his actions confirmed the fact that my question reached his ears. He took a deep breath before answering me nonchalantly.
"No reason woman. Just felt the need to have you." I smiled bitterly at that...typical obsessive criminal response...an egoistic and childish reason only a man devoid of qualms would consider it justifiable enough for doing that ghastly thing..
"Was it worth it?"I questioned again even though I could already foresee the answer..
"Che...every single second of it."the wicked smile came back on his lips as he responded this, not showing a single sign of remorse on his young face. Then he resumed in opening another cage, whistling a cheery tune while doing that. I narrowed my eyes at him.
"...Why are you setting me free then?" this particular question managed to take him by surprise...he wasn`t` expecting that it seemed...
Turning slowly in my direction, he stared at me like we gaze upon a thing that we are well acquainted that it exists, but don`t know why. Averting his gaze from mine he turned around hastily to open more cages furiously.
I diverted my attention to my hands...they`ve become paler and translucent...I could almost see through them...I was becoming more like a specter and less like a human being by the second...
It seems I would be soon to follow all the previous captive souls into that unfamiliar world all people fear of ...funny how half an hour ago I thought I was a simple woman,deluted to believe that I was surviving like others did...it seems reality is harsher that I thought...
I continued to watch him pace frantically toward different cages, opening how many he could in that frenzied state, the silence being long gone and now filled with his incessant babblements.
" Because this shit began to get into a rut. Every fucking day you come to this store, yabber about how beautiful are those pieces of shit, ask the same frigging questions then walk away. It`s pissing me off! Dammit! You were the one mocking me after your death!" his movements became more violent, almost ripping the cages off the walls as he continued with his deed. From my spot my vision started to become blurred and slowly I could only see his hazed form storming from cage to cage ceaselessly.
"You know what? This is ridiculous, YOU are fucking ridiculous!"he spat with enmity towards me, his voice heightening while continuing to admonish me
"I HATE YOU! I wanted to rip and tear you apart over and over again and then I fucking realize that even if I do that, same shit will happen again and you`ll never turn out how I fucking WANTED!"
By now, my sense of seeing also flew away and I could only discern his berserk voice as he yelled those hateful words at me. Then silence, only his harsh breathing penetrated the ominous quietude veiling over us. I could feel myself slipping away quickly and I knew it won`t be long till I will be gone forever from this unforgiving world. Still, I could sense him approaching me again, his last words being whisperetd with bitterness..
"You frigging bitch I always hated the way you remind me I`m just...a human "
A feeling of calmness enveloped me as I felt myself being carried away like a leaf is blown by down winds .I felt lips caressing mines into a bittersweet kiss..
Then..
I vanished into thin air.
As an unseen tower clock stroke to midnight, in a secluded stale building from a perilous looking alley, a man could be seen laying on the ground, the darkness being his only company as he held tightly one of the many empty cages surrounding his sprawled body. Only, the one he was grasping for dear life wasn`t vacant, it carried the most beautiful butterfly ever seen to the human eye, it`s blue wings glowing almost orphicly..
It was Konan`s heart..
Fin.