Disclaimer: I do not own poke- I mean Brawl. If I did, Roy would be back in the game and Peach would be out for good. No really, she sucks like hell!
Well, this is my first Non-Pokemon story! Hooray!! Anyways, I got this idea from watching Brawlgasm on Youtube and I just thought that I should just take a break from corny romance stories and make a comedy/adventure for once!
Rated teen for perversity, violence, and the strangest strange Puerto Rican swordsman I have ever seen.
Ages:
Ike: 16
Marth: 17
Link: 18
Zelda: Unknown XDXDXDXD
Ganondorf: Do you really want to know?
Anyways, enjoy XDXDXDXDXD!!
Chapter 1: The Most Unlikely Trio of Heroes
Zelda was in Hyrule Temple, watching over her people. Link stood next to her, the two looked so happy. It was so…peaceful.
"The day is wonderful, isn't it Link?" Zelda asked the young 'Hero of Time.'
Link's face was dreamy and content. "Yeah, absolutely wonderful!" He said in a dreamy voice. Zelda cocked her head, and then realized Link's hand was rubbing her butt.
"You pervert, stop it!" Zelda snapped, slapping Link.
Link smiled goofily, rubbing his injury. "I couldn't help it! My instincts took over!"
Zelda couldn't help, but give a small smile. "That's always your excuse!" Link laughed, and the two continued to watch over the peaceful town. That was when the clouds began to become black and dreary.
Zelda looked worried. "Something's wrong!" She said. "It's the middle of summer! It can't rain like this!"
Link went in front of Zelda defensively. "Don't worry, what ever comes in our way, I'll protect you!"
A powerful black lightning bolt smashed the ground, and a large looking turtle with a spiked shell emerged, behind it was Link's worst enemy, Ganondorf!
"Ganondorf?" Link said, surprised. "How'd you break free?"
Ganondorf smirked. "I have my little Koopa friend here to thank! And now, I will get rid of you two, once and for all!"
"No way! Not while I'm here!" Link shouted, preparing his Tri-Force Slash.
Ganondorf chuckled, "Do you think that will work? Bowser, now!"
Bowser smirked, and began to transform into a bigger, nastier form of himself. He had become Giga Bowser. Link's slashes simply scratched the scaly skin of the terrible monster.
"Finish him!" Ganondorf said, smirking.
Giga Bowser grinned. He grabbed Link and began blasting him with never ending flames. He finished his brutal attack by throwing him and slashing him violently with his terrible claws. Zelda became worried.
"Link, get out of here! I can take care of myself!" Zelda said.
Link opened his eyes weakly. "I…won't…leave…you!"
Zelda narrowed her eyes. "I'm leaving you with no choice!" She then hit him with a powerful bolt of magic. Instantly, he was gone.
Ganondorf smirked. He rushed toward Zelda, and wrapped his hand around her throat, lifting her high above the air. Zelda choked and struggled to break free. Ganondorf laughed sadistically in amusement.
"Now, it's all over! Even the 'Hero of Time' can't stop me now!" Ganondorf said, smirking. "Flame Choke!"
As soon as he said those words, his hand exploded with a shadowy aura. Zelda fell to the floor, her eyes slowly closing.
"Link…" She said softly, "You're the only one that can save Brawl! Good luck…" Then everything went black, the last thing she heard was Ganondorf's evil laugh.
5 Years Later
A messy, blue-haired teenager groaned as his alarm clock rang. He took out his golden, double-edged sword which he called Ragnell sleepily and slashed the poor alarm clock into smithereens.
"I GET THE FREAKING MESSAGE, JEEZ!!" The apparently violent teen growled as he continued to reduce it to rubble. He tossed the now battered clock into a pile of other destroyed alarm clocks. He yawned sleepily, that was when he was when his friend came in.
"Come on, Ike!" A blue-haired teenager said in a strange, Puerto Rican accent. Instead of messy hair, his hair was neat and smooth. He had a thinner sword tucked inside of a sheath. "You need to pack up quickly, before I do something…Puerto Rican!"
"Enough with the freaking Puerto Rican stuff! You're not even Puerto Rican!" Ike growled. "It's getting really annoying!"
Ike's friend pouted, his arms crossed. "You disgrace the country of Puerto Rico! And I am very much Puerto Rican! And how you can hate Puerto Rico? It is a-"
"A WONDERFUL COUNTRY OF JOY AND WONDER, YEAH, YEAH, YOU ONLY SAID THAT LIKE 5 BILLION TIMES IN MY LIFE!!" Ike said, annoyed and rolling his eyes. "NOW GET OUT OF MY FREAKING ROOM BEFORE I SLICE OFF YOUR FREAKING WRIST!"
Ike's friend smirked. "Try me!"
Ike glared at his friend. "I'm serious, Marth, I'm in a really bad mood!"
Marth smiled. "Alarm clock get to you again… Puerto Rico…?"
Ike's face grew red in embarrassment. He sighed. "Yeah, alarm clock…" He said in a much quieter voice. "Now get out, I need to pack up!"
Marth smiled. "Suit yourself…" And with that, Marth left Ike's room. Ike sighed, and held an old picture of him as a kid and his parents.
"Ganondorf you better be ready!" Ike growled, "Cause I'm coming to get my revenge!" He put the picture in his backpack, and left his room. (Or should I say hut.) Marth was waiting patiently for him.
"Bout time!" Marth said, smiling. "Now let's go, off to… Puerto Rico…!"
This time, Ike snapped, he took out Ragnell and Side Smashed at Marth violently. Marth easily dodged, smiling. He loved annoying Ike.
"For Pete's sake! We're not going to freaking Quarter Tico or whatever it is!" The hot-tempered teen said. "We're going to Hyrule Temple so we can stop Ganondorf! We're the only ones who can stop him! Even Link, the 'Hero of Time' was unable to beat him! Haven't I told you this before?"
Marth smiled. "You did, but I just love annoying the Puerto Rican hell out of you… Puerto Rico…!" Marth said childishly. Ike fell to the floor anime style.
"IMMA CUT YA FOR THAT!" Ike growled, chasing our poor Puerto Rican jokester while waving Ragnell. Marth laughed as he ran away.
"Eek, someone save me!" Marth said sarcastically, running like a little girl. "I'm being chased by a hot-tempered, Puerto Rican idiot… Puerto Rico…!"
"IM NOT AN IDIOT!" Ike said, swinging Ragnell downwards. "NOW IMMA CUT YOU FOR THAT!"
"Oh joy, how many Puerto Rican times have you said that… Puerto Rico…?" Marth said sarcastically, dodging and rolling his eyes. But as he dodged, he tripped over an unconscious figure. Ike loomed over Marth sadistically.
"I've got you now!" Ike said, raising Ragnell so he could strike.
Wait, Ike, stop!" Marth said meekly. "There's someone unconscious here… Puerto Rico…!"
Ike rolled his eyes. "Yeah, like imma believe that!" He prepared to swing down, but the figure that Marth was on had caught his eye.
It was a blond-haired boy, barely older than Marth. Ike put Ragnell back in his sheath (I know Ragnell doesn't have a sheath… or does it… but just bear with me…) and helped Marth up.
"Who do you think he is?" Marth asked. "I've never seen him around here before!"
Ike narrowed his eyes, studying the unconscious figure. "Based on the Master sword and the shield, I'd say that he's Link! But how? I thought he disappeared 5 years ago!"
"I know, that is weird... But how do we get him back to the Puerto Rican village?" Marth said "He looks terrible, and carrying him back is too much effort! I'll go call help in the name of Puerto Rico… Puerto Rico…!"
"No need!" Ike said, smirking as he took Ragnell out. He held it as if ready top plunge it into the ground. Marth's eyes widened.
"Ike, you could kill him like that… Puerto Rico…" Marth said matter-of factly.
"Then you'd better have a lot of water!" Ike said, smirking. "ERUPTION!" He shouted, plunging the sword into the earth. A pillar of flames shot out from the sword and singed Link. His eyes shot open, and he jumped onto his feet anime-style, a fire burning on his butt. Marth shot daggers at Ike with his eyes, and then chased the poor 'Hero of Time,' feebly trying his best to put out the flames.
"That, my friend," Ike began, "Is how you wake an unconscious person!"
Marth smacked Ike with the blunt side of his sword, panting hard. "You think you're funny? You could've burned him to death! And because of you, I'm exhausted… Puerto Rico!!"
"Well that's your problem!" Ike said, Side Smashing with Ragnell. Marth simply blocked, and the two began sword fighting.
Link rubbed the back of his head, sweat-dropping as the two fought. "Uh, sorry to interrupt, but where am I? And who are you two?"
The two friends paused. Marth was stretching Ike's mouth and Ike giving him a major noogie. The two let each other go, silently mumbling: 'I'll deal with you later!'
"My Puerto Rican name's Marth, and this is my idiot, Puerto Rican friend, Ike." Marth said. "The two of us are traveling to Hyrule… Puerto Rico…!"
A vein popped on Ike's head. "Hey, I'm not an idiot! Stop calling me that!"
Marth pouted, crossing his arms. "You sure act like it… Puerto Rico…"
"THAT IS IT, IMMA CUT YA!!" Ike shouted angrily, chasing his friend again. Link sweatdropped, amused. That was when Link heard rustling near the bushes. A fat, stout man emerged from the bushes, grinning. Link took a battle stance, Ike and Marth blinked in confusion.
"Eh heh, ah finally found ya!" The fat man said. "Now imma finish youa off, by orders of Masta Ganondorf!"
Ike raised an eyebrow. 'This guy knows Ganondorf? Then I'm fighting him!' Ike took his mind off of Marth and dashed at the fat person. Marth widened his eyes.
"Careful, Ike, he's dangerous!" Marth shouted.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever!" Ike said, striking the fat man with Ragnell. But he was so fat, that the sword didn't even cut him. The fat guy grinned.
"Ehhhhhh, looks like you got some friends!!" The guys said, grinning. "My name isa Wario and I willa kill alla ya! Wahahahahahaha!"
"Oh shut up already!" Ike growled, pulling out Ragnell and preparing Eruption. "If I can't cut you, I'll just burn you!"
"Oh, no youa don't!" Wario said, grinning. He turned around, and farted in front of Ike's face just as he began to strike down.
"Aw god, that stinks!" Ike groaned, staggering back. Marth rubbed his temples and sighed.
"Youa just tasted my Wario Waft!" Wario said gleefully. "Wahahahahahahaha!"
"That's Ike alright..." Marth said, sighing. "Always the hasty one who rushes into things… Puerto Rico…" He then dashed in swiftly, joining Ike in the fight.
Wario was running over Ike with his Motorcycle, and Ike was still recovering from being farted at, getting battered by Wario's attacks.
"Wahahaha, imma kick your butt!" Wario laughed.
Ike shook off the attacks easily, glaring at Wario. It would take more than a motorcycle to take him out! "Keep dreaming, bub!" His sword flared with energy.
Wario grinned. "You know physical attacks are worthless againsta me…Wario! WAHAHAHAHAHA!"
Ike grinned. "Not this attack, bub!" He struck Wario high into the air with his flaming sword, smashing Wario's motorcycle at the same time. Marth paused, and understood.
"Wha?" Wario said, shocked as Ike threw his sword in front of him and then appeared in front of him swiftly.
"Oh, man, he's screwed… Puerto Rico…" Marth said, sighing.
"GREAT…AETHER!!" Ike shouted, smashing Wario with several flaming slashes and kicks. At the final blow, he headed downward and when he hit the ground, his sword exploded in a pillar of fire. Wario fell to the floor, burned and defeated.
"Eh… youa beat me!" Wario said, coughing weakly. "But with your strength, youssa never beata Ganondorf…"
Ike grabbed him by the collar, panting hard. "You'd better tell me what you wanted with Link, and you'd better do it fast, before I Great Aether you again!"
"Ok, ok, I'll talk!" Wario said. He then smirked. "Not!" At this, he farted once again, though this was bigger than usual, big enough to create a large green smokescreen that covered the area. The three swordsmen coughed until the smell was gone. When the smell cleared, Wario was gone.
"Ah, that coward!" Ike grumbled. "But I took him out easily!"
"Yeah, and you needed Great Aether just to do it!" Marth grumbled.
"Ah, I could've owned him, even without Great Aether! I just wanted to win quickly!" Ike said, placing his hands behind his back. "Now, come on, let's get going!"
Marth raised an eyebrow. "What about Link? We can't leave him alone!" He asked.
"He's the 'Hero of Time,' he'll be fine!" Ike said lazily. Though Marth looked unsure. Wario looked pretty intent on getting rid of him.
Link watched the as the two left. 'That Ike guy is pretty powerful! He has a lot of potential in him!' Link thought. 'Maybe they can help me defeat Ganondorf and help me find Zelda! Zelda… I hope you're ok!'
"Wait!" Link shouted, running after them.
Ike turned around casually. "What…"
"I'd like to join you guys!" Link said, panting. "I have a feeling that the three of us will be a great team!"
Ike smirked. "Well, you'd better be a good fighter, 'cause there's no room for wimps in my team."
Marth pouted. "Who said this was your team… Puerto Rico…"
"I said it! Now stop saying Puerko Rio or else I will personally slit you in the throat!" Ike said angrily.
"Oooo, I'm so scared… Puerto Rico…" Marth said sarcastically.
"ARG, IMMA KEEL YA!! GIT BACK HERE AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!!" Ike said, chasing Marth while waving his sword. Link sighed, following them.
"Well, come and get me… Puerto Rico…" Marth said, grinning as he ran away from the violent, messy-haired swordsman. Link rubbed his temples, sighing.
"This is going to be a looooooooooooooong journey…" Link said dully, now running to follow his new comrades.
And there it is, teh first chapter XDXDXDXDXDXD
Link didn't age in the 5 year time skip because of Zelda's teleport magic. Yeah, the spell sent Link 5 years into the future XDXDXD. This affected time because Link wasn't around and was why Link appeared to have disappeared.
I hope you enjoyed it! Personally, I think that this chapter wasn't that good considering that this is my first non-Pokemon fic. But I'll get better, I hope...
YEAH, IKE PWNED WARIO! GREAT AETHER ROCKS XDXDXDXDXD! Anyways, I hope you found Ike's fight awesome, even though it was short. And I'm sorry that I didn't make Marth and Link fight yet, I will make them fight soon.
Lol, I really like how all the characters came out, especially Ike's. I mean, hot-temper is perfect for a fiery swordsman XDXDXD!
No smashball this time. Final smashes are just considered as their best attack!
Anyways, please review. Reviewers get a nice bowl of hot, steamy ramen XDXDXD. I hope that you enjoy this story, even though it isn't Pokemon! And I highly suggest that you read Vim's (Vimuku) Brawl story! It's even better than mine! XDXDXDXD
Honou