I will always be a gypsy. Not in the sense that I live in a covered wagon with my band of merry henchman, but in the sense that I live off the land and have no permanent address. And I remembered that as I flew down toward the camp. Good, they are still asleep.
I sneak up to my backpack and grab a plastic bag from my pack labeled "Gypsy". I couldn't think of a better way to label a package that spells the ending of your every certainty and the breaking of your heart and the needing to mend all at the same time without screaming it out on the package and wasting a perfectly Sharpie. And I take out my ceremonial goodbye clothes, turning into the bushes to change. I came out in a pair of holey jeans, my black tank top, my only pair of hoop earrings, a piece of silk tied like a belt and a white scarf in my hair, to look at my flock, wide awake. They were all in a line, coherent and brooding like they didn't know what was about to happen, or, if they did, they're thinking of how to stop me. Not even Fang knew what the clothes meant. They meant I had made up my mind, entire end of story. Angel came up to me, crying. The tears left red trails on her dirty face. " Don't go. PLEASE! Please, don't go."
My poor little baby, I don't want her to hurt. When I'm gone, maybe she'll understand. Maybe. "I've got to, Angel. I'm going and that's it." She started murmuring about how this was all her fault, and I grabbed her chin in my hand and turned her head to face mine. I looked her in the eyes and I said, "Don't you dare think for a second of your precious life that you are at fault for any of this. You got that. It's mine. It's my fault and that's why I'm going."
Angel began sobbing again and I pulled her into a hug, letting her tears stain my shirt. That's part of the meaning behind the clothes, letting them touch the people I leave, so maybe I can remember them before moving on. Gazzy walked up next to me and I pulled him into the hug, too, saying, "You heard what I said to your sister. The same thing goes for you. Got it?"
He nodded weakly and I let go of both of them. It was Nudge's turn to walk up to me. She started talking rapid fire at me about everything else I could do with them if I didn't leave. Then she caught herself, giving a half smile of embarrassment. I gave her a reassuring half smile and hugged her, too.
Iggy started to scream at Fang and Alex, the latter of which I hadn't seen up till now. "You screwed this up big time, Fang. You screwed everything up. YOU screwed it up! Fix it. FIX IT NOW! Fix it before she leaves. You screwed everyone's lives, you selfish bastard. So fix it!" He had gotten louder and louder until I thought people were going to stop and stare. I mean we were on a camping site, for Pete's sake.
" Iggy", I said calmly, but with an edge, "Watch your language. It's my
fault, not Fang's."" NO, it's my fault."Mr. strong and silent finally
decided to speak up, did he? Fang walked up to me, opening my hand and
shoving a piece of crumpled paper inside. It read:
'Darren and Alejandro Rodriguez. Born 10/ 15/ 97. Mother: Ellen
Rodriguez, age 19.' And then the name of some hospital in a city I
didn't recognize.
It was him. Him and his brother's birth date, their mother, their everything. "This is what you were keeping from me? This is what was so important?" I said softly. He nodded as I pulled a loaded pistol from one of my shoulder holsters, steadying it in my left hand. I had it aimed between Fang's brown eyes when I said in the iciest tone I've got, " If I ever see any of you again, I will shoot you down."
It was way beyond a whisper, but I knew they had heard all too well. Hey, The guy lied to me, and I don't take that kind of stuff well. I turned and ran into the woods a ways before snapping out my wings and taking to the air.
" MAX!"I turned, gun still in hand.
" I told you I never want to see you again."
"Isn't there something I can do?"
I pulled the hammer down, making a soft clicking sound that echoed where we were, just above the trees. "Fang, I'm giving you 10 seconds before I pull this trigger."
"WAIT! Wait. Please. I… I want to make this work. I love you. Please."
He was genuinely scared now. He should be scared. I felt so betrayed by all of this. Why couldn't he have told me that he was looking for his mom? Why couldn't he trust me? He betrayed me, just like everyone else, and I was gonna make him pay.
" Time's up, Fang," I said, aiming above his head and pulling the trigger. Part of me really didn't want to kill him. It was the part of me that made me a bad gypsy, the part of me that attached me to everyone. This, sadly, was one of those times I didn't want it. He had ducked down thinking the bullet was meant for his head and tried coming closer. Bad move, buddy.
"Please, I want this to work. Trust me…"
I cut him off. " I am, have been and always will be a gypsy. I love no one. I trust no one. I forgot who I am and have found myself again. And you are no more to me than every one else is… expendable."
I was comforted by the hot tears that ran down Mr. Emotionless's face. I flew off, collapsing in a cave a few hours away. It was going to be hard for a while. I was so used to them.