If I Could Change The Past

Genre: Drama/Action/Adventure/Romance/Dark/ Time Travel
Warnings: AU, Violence

Relationships: Lily/James Sirius/OC Remus/Tonks

Disclaimer: I own nothing, although I think I may be the first one to come up with this idea! So yeah me! If I'm not then tell me Kay!

Summary: What exactly is the veil but the division between past and present life. Sirius Black convicted felon is dead but Padfoot the marauder is alive. Takes place in 7th year!

I have in no way abandoned any of other stories- I have also almost completed the chapter for alliance and will be posting wolf pack tomorrow!

Chapter 1

Sirius stood cold and shivering in the rain. The night was dark and chilled shrouding him in a blanket of mist that seemed to swarm around him enclosing him in a veil of lucent dust. Confused; disorientated. He blinked back the raindrops and although he knew enough to clear them from his vision he did not feel them. What happened to the noise? What happened to the light? He spun around his movement were sluggish as he called out into the night 'Harry?' but there was nothing but the sound of the rain. He fell to his knees and wept, his face buried in his hands as an onslaught of imagines assaulted his mind in a torrid of horrifying visions. Lily- dead. James-dead. Peter the traitorous SOB, Azkaban. And then…

"Nice one!" he shouted and then forced Harry's head down as a pair of stunning spells flew towards them. "Now I want you to get out of-"

They both ducked again as a jet of green light narrowly missed them. He turned back to Harry,

"Take the prophecy, grab Neville and run" and then dashed to meet Bellatrix.

He remembered thinking that this was it, excitement dancing in his veins as he laughed and taunted her. It had been so long since he had done something so very much needed. He needed this! He needed to feel again he needed to be out there in the fight he needed to be active. His rational mind had gone and had given way to his purely instinctual side- it was seductive this feeling. It made everything seem good. The world melted behind him and all reality was, was the electricity dancing around his body. He lived for the feeling and he convinced himself that he'd almost die for this feeling.

He ducked a jet of red light and laughed at her "Come on, you can do better than that!" his voice echoed around the room.

So far gone was he in the delirium of a past life when he had been free and of a temporary feeling of invincibility that when the second jet of light him squarely on the chest, for a second he didn't feel a thing. Oh his body knew it had been hit but his mind could not believe it, wasn't he invincible?

His eyes widened in shock and then he began to fall. Reality came back and then he remembered Harry who he had once promised himself that he would come back to; that he would give him the life that James would have wanted for him. He reached out a hand and his mouth opened to say the words- sorry- I'm so sorry. But he couldn't he had already disappeared through a world filled with bright colours and sounds.

"Sirius" the voice called out sounding hysterical. "Sirius get up." Hands were on him pulling him up into their chest- rocking him back and forth. "Dad his so cold what do I do" the voice was familiar; comforting and so warm. "Dad" the voice shouted again.

Sirius wanted to laugh and to tell them that it was ok. That he was ready to go now but most importantly he wanted them to know "I'm sorry" he managed to gasp out "I'm so sorry."

The person who was hugging him stopped "Its ok I forgive you" he began to repeat it like a mantra "I forgive you I forgive you"

Sirius smiled and marvelled at how when was on the brink of death they could make the world seem exactly how they wanted. He had wanted forgiveness from James and he had been granted it- the voice the person whose arms he would die in was his best friends. "Thank you" he said and then he was gone.

"He's waking up" Yelled James as he rushed over to Sirius bedside, "Sirius" he called. His heart pounded in his chest as he watched as various emotions passed over his friends face. He knelled and waited hesitant to touch him in case he slipped back into whatever nightmare had gripped him.

Sirius opened his eyes slowly and then quickly closed them. The light was too bright and even with his eyes closed he felt as if he could still see a light. But then it actually went dark and he panicked. He was in Azkaban. He remembered the moments when he felt as he was free when; he could feel the sun on his skin he could hear a laugh see a smile only for it to fade into darkness and cold.

He shivered. Was it cold in here? He moved until he could feel his back against the wall and then wrapped his arms around himself his face in his legs. Not today he swore they wouldn't get him today. He had revenge he had a godson out there. Oh no!Not today he promised.

"Sirius" a voice called out. Sirius froze and then began to shake. No no no he wasn't here it was just a trick they were trying to turn him mad. But then why could he feel the heat seeping into his skin from the hand that had just touched his leg. He fought with his conscience on whether he could risk a glance or whether he was mad to take a chance. The former won out and he risked a peak. James! He thought unable to verbally question. By Gods! The dementors could take on shapes now. But as he searched there eyes for the cold feeling he saw nothing but warm hazy- they were just eyes. He looked down to the hand that was still on his leg and stared transfixed as if measuring the truth of the image. He looked back up calculating and wary as his breathing picked up. He closed his eyes as his head began to pound.

"Oh no you don't" snapped the voice as they shook him making his eyes snap open. "Don't you dear close your eyes" they ordered "you don't get to close your eyes and forget about us you…you….you selfish git" his voice trembled in anger and in something else… something that sound to Sirius like fear. "That's right" the voice repeated as they shook him fiercely "you're a selfish git! How dare you try to leave me- you promised- we promised- friends forever how dare you try to leave me"

"James! That's enough" Sirius felt the hands on him loosen and then moved away

"That's enough" yelled Mr Potter as he grabbed hold of his son and pulled him off Sirius "that's enough" he said quietly as he held his sobbing son in his arms while looking on the bewildered face of the boy who had come to be like another son to him.

"Sirius" he spoke over the top of James head "can you hear me?"

Sirius eyed him and then slowly shook his head. James pulled back from his dad and turned "are you ok?" he asked as we walked over to the bed. Sirius moved backward his back hit the wall hard but he didn't flinch.

Instead he looked down "why are you torturing me?" he voice was so hollow so painfully defeated that James and everyone in the room felt as if they had been dealt a heavy physical blow to their souls.

"I'm trying to help you" was James only response "let me help you"

Sirius head rolled to the side "you can't its already done" he looked down at his hands and his eyes caught a glimpse of blood before flashing back to white "I thought I had died" and when he looked up tears were in his grey eyes "did I dream it all James? Did I imagine seeing it all? Why would I do that?"

James stared wordlessly and then turned helplessly to his dad. Sirius lunched forward clutching his hand in desperation and pulled James toward the bed where he was tethering precariously near the edge "tell me" he shouted forcefully "tell me I dreamt it all"

"You did" said James as he struggled to hold his best friend "none of it was real"

Sirius seemed even more incensed "Your lying" he roared "I know it was real" he struggled to get of the bed pushing James back and his eyes swung around the room trying to get something into focus. "You" he lunged at Peter "tell them what you're going to do" he gripped his t-shirt and pulled him closer. Even though he looked weak Sirius was still stronger than the mousey Peter and had him in a death hold "tell them about how much of a coward you are"

"Sirius let go" ordered Remus as he tried to pull Sirius off of Peter "Sirius please" he pleaded as Mr Potter came to help him.

"No" cried Sirius as Mr Potter pulled him into his arms "no let me go" he cried "please". Sobs wrecked his body and then he stilled as delirium took over, muttering untellable words over and over and over again.

"Call the doctor Remus he had a fever" said Mr Potter as he carried the now still Sirius to the bed.

"So" asked Mr Potter to the mediwitch

"I have never seen something like this before- you did say you found him in the rain?"

Mr Potter nodded "you said before he was probably in the rain for to long and caught a fever which caused him to hallucinate"

"Yes. But still there seems to be something tormenting the boy- his mind is complex and twisted" she let out a shaky breath "it is strange indeed"

"What can we do to help him?"

"Give him time and support, but if these episodes continue call me"

Mr Potter let out a breathe and shook her hand "thank you"

"Take care of him" she cautioned and Mr Potter nodded again. When she had left Mr Potter walked into the room and watched as the three boys watched over Sirius.

"His going to be ok" he announced

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