Merry Christmas 2009!
Kurama x Hiei
Belonging
And I remember the sound
Of your November downtown
And I remember the truth
A warm December with you
Joshua Radin
Kurama woke to the sight of darkness, the sound of breathing, and the feeling of a warm body pressed up close to him, and could not help but be a little surprised that Hiei had stayed this long through the night. It was a strangely nice thing to do, rather than the hit-and-run of flurried emotion that Kurama had been anticipating. Not that Kurama, even in his wildest dreams, had ever thought too much about the morning after- he had mostly been too concerned, in his daydreams, of what had been the night before.
As it was, this was confusing. He did not think it was a 'Hiei-gesture', to stay in this bed, in this warmth.
The room was black, light blocked out by curtains that had been quickly drawn behind the figure that had slipped through the window hours before, and Kurama found his senses stifled by it. It was the near-unnatural utter dark of a moonless night, of the empty country, but it was not suited to this place, to this time. He felt like there should be light- of the moon and stars- to see Hiei, to examine the contours of his face and watch the rise and fall of his chest.
As it was, he could barely see Hiei at all, and there was something strangely discomforting about that.
He could tell that Hiei was still awake though, despite not really being able to see him all that well. The bed was cramped, their bodies lying close, and the red-head could feel how tense the other man was, his muscles tight and limbs at stiff angles He was clearly on edge, clearly uncomfortable. They were no embracing, but their bodies were touching, Hiei's back against Kurama's chest, and Kurama had one arm thrown over the other man's hip.
But yet, despite the obvious discomfort, he was still there. That had to count for something, didn't it?
Hiei moved his arm, a swift and deceptively light touch of his elbow that rested against Kurama's chest, for just a moment.
Hiei spoke first, although the other ached to break the silence. He asked the question with a lack of emotion that suggested that he already knew the answer, which Kurama, when he thought about it, knew that Hiei no doubt did.
"You're awake?"
"Yes, I am."
Kurama smiled, and simply reached out to pull the corner of the curtain away from the glass. He felt the prick of cold air on his skin, and realised that Hiei had not closed the window properly behind him. Skin-on-skin, under layers of covers, he had not noticed.
"It's snowing again."
Hiei said nothing, and Kurama sat up a little so that he could reach over and pull the window closed. He felt Hiei flinch as Kurama's chest was suddenly very close to his nose, and tried to life himself a little higher. The click of the lock echoed through the silent room, and for a moment, Kurama watched the falling flakes, dancing through the air on the chill breeze. The snow, to his surprise, was sticking on the ground, although the weather forecast had said it would not. It was falling thick and fast, and had been all night, and must already have been an inch thick on the ground.
Hiei did not say anything further, as Kurama slid back underneath the covers, but he did not protest as the other pressed their bodies together again, and nor did he pull away, although he did not move to reciprocate. Kurama sighed as he rested his chin on Hiei's head. That was, and he suspected always would be, the way between them.
The quiet was heavy, absolute, but Kurama was content to wait for him for find the right words. He let Hiei begin to move, pushing his back closer to Kurama's chest, ignoring the warmth between them, which had suddenly become awkward and troublesome. It was made worse by the heat underneath the covers, left over from the night before.
Kurama resisted the urge to place his arms around Hiei, worried that it might disturb or even frighten him, just a little, for it really did seem that Hiei was more at odds with himself right now. Instead, he rested his hands by his side, his head atop of Hiei's, and thought. Hiei was used to battle, but it always was with emotional battle that Hiei struggled the most, and this was confusing in many ways. Kurama did not blame him for his confusion, because the situation was by no means simple, and although he knew that it had been a development that he had longed for, as far as Hiei was concerned… well, Hiei was being as unreadable as ever.
But although it seemed that no more words would be forthcoming from the demon, Kurama waited, because he knew that soon enough the other would come out with what was burning him up inside, and he was prepared to wait, prepared to make this work.
There were so many questions that he longed to ask the other, but he kept his mouth resolutely shut. He had not seem him in nearly six weeks- one day, at the start of November, he had simply disappeared, and the Spirit World had been thrown into a great disarray about it, because of course he was still on probation, and was not supposed to leave. He had not reappeared until last night, when Kurama had looked up to see him standing, hesitant, on the windowsill, staring in at Kurama with snow littering the black of his clothes like melting stars on the blanket of a clear night.
Kurama had stood, but Hiei had got there first, pressing their lips together with a nervous haste and fear.
No words had been said that night, simply actions, but although Kurama had many things that he wanted to talk about, he knew that sometimes patience was the better option. Sooner or later, Hiei would do something.
However, when Hiei finally did act, all he did was roll over, so his face was pressed against Kurama's bare chest. Kurama could feel him frowning against the warm skin. To his surprise, he could hear the blood pounding in his ears, as if trying to escape.
Hiei's voice was sullen, quiet, but the final word cracked with emotion.
"Does this… is this… belonging?"
Kurama's fingers threaded through black hair, cupped against the back of his head, and smiled in the warmth that the two of them had created.
"Yes."
That was all Hiei needed to hear.