A/N: Kid me is stupid because Antonio is gay, I thought he was just dramatic and eager to be in theatre. He's the Kurt of sweet life of Zack and Cody.
Professor Antonio of drama class glared at everyone in the teachers lounge. Harper was the only one sitting in his table, the rest couldn't stand his snob attitude. It didn't pass his notice that things have been slow the last few years.
"I can't stand this!" he says as he slams his hands on the table grabbing the attention of the nearby. "There's a horrible lack of excitement, participation, and fun in school. Back in my day club activities were important," Antonio grumbles. "The youth is all about their cellphones."
"Hmmm, what was that?" Harper the english teacher looks up from her phone.
Cory Matthews walks into the teachers lounge and sits down next to Harper. "Mondays. What's going on?"
"I don't know," Harper shrugs.
"I'll tell you what going on. We're going to join forces and put on the best modern play ever performed in this school since my high school musical!" Antonio claps his hand.
"We are?" The english and history teacher say in unison.
"A play that incorporates the best of english, history, and drama!" Antonio stands on his chair bringing the attention of the rest of the faculty. "We're doing the Iliad!"
"That's sounds unreasonably difficult for us," Cory whines.
"We'll make it sixty percent of the student's grade," Antonio declares. "Like a school project."
The teachers clap in amazement.
"Oh boy," Cory says a little worried.
During first period they gather their classes and take them to the drama classroom. It's spacious and had plenty of chair left after they had all assembled.
"Daddy," Riley rises her hand. "Why are we here?"
"Thank you for asking honey," he studies the kids. "Where's Maya?"
"Grabbing a pillow from her locker," Riley says.
"We've brought you all here to announce the play we'll be producing and your roles in it," Antonio walked over. The students began to bore and settle in their chairs for a nap. "It counts for sixty percent of your grade so listen," he hisses with a cold smile. "We're doing a modern day version of the Iliad."
Confused chatter erupted in the room as the students tried to figure out what he was talking about. Antonio rolls his eyes.
"Troy. The movie with Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom," Harper clarifies and the students all go oh.
"This is serious guys. You're all terrible actors so I'm going to do the best I can to match you to a relevant character. The rest will be trees and whatnot." The kids groaned. "Farkle!" Farkle jumps in his seat and looks up in alarm. "You'll be playing pretty boy Paris."
"He looks nothing like Orlando Bloom," a girl in the back pointed that.
"He looks exactly like the wall painting of Paris," Antonio refutes. "Zay!"
"Urgh," the boy shrinks back.
"You'll be Menelaus. Husband of Helen."
"Wifey!" Zay looks around to the pretty cheerleaders.
"Isadora. You'll be playing Andromeda. Hector's girl."
"I don't want a role where I'm just someones girl. Can I be Odysseus too?" She asks.
"Sure, if you can memorize both scripts."
"Lucas you'll be-"
Maya slams the doors opens and stumbles in. "Sorry I'm late. Had to rescue a cat from a tree." She moves over to Riley, pushes Lucas from his chair and takes his seat.
"Hmmm, Maya and Riley will play Achilles and Patroclus. Thank you for volunteering," Antonio moves on.
"I what?" Maya holds her pillow to her. "What did I unwillingly volunteer for, honey?"
"I need two people that can satisfy my audience. Your dynamic is the perfect fit," Antonio says.
"Uhm, the only resemblance between Maya and Achilles is that they're both blond and temperamental," Zay speaks out.
"We're getting roles to reenact Troy, peaches," Riley fills her in.
"Oh, I love that movie," she grins. "And yeah, Zay is right. Achilles is a dude. I'm a dudette."
Harper steps up. "Actually Achilles's mother disguised him as a girl for weeks to keep him from getting recruited. The best warrior of the greeks had feminine features."
"Why not Farkle and Lucas or anybody else?" Riley asks.
"They don't have that deep unquestionable visible bond of Achilles and Patroclus," Antonio shakes his head. "Achilles and Patroclus had known each other since childhood, they shared the same tent and women."
"What?" Riley asks about the last bit.
"And!" Cory quickly moves on. "After Pat kicked the can Achilles was incredibly distraught and furious. He avenged his best friend even though it meant his certain doom as well. Their comrades even mingled their ashes together. Farkle gets brain tired after listening to Lucas talk too much."
"True," Farkle shrugs.
"That kind of bond can't be faked. And why have mediocre when we have the real thing here," Harper says to Riley and Maya.
"That's so sweet and sounds like a great idea. They're together even after death," Riley places her hand over her head and grasps Maya's hand. "Maya how does that sound?"
"Mmmm yeah, I'm game. Being forever together even after dead is what I planned all along. I'd go on a rampage if anyone tried to kill my best friend," Maya squeezes Riley's hand.
"We've known each other since childhood. We have sleepovers and share everything. We love each other more than anybody else and we'd do anything for each other," Riley grins.
"See perfect," Antonio sighs. "You both gracefully tiptoe between the lines of Eros and Philia. Keep that up."
"I won't have to do much right?" Maya says suddenly.
"No. You mope for most of the play while Riley coddles you."
"Oh, perfect," Maya puts the pillow on Riley's lap, lays down and takes her nap.
"Lucas!"
"Yes sir?" He squirms.
"Lucas you'll be Hector, the best of the Trojans."
"Nice," he cheers.
"You kill Riley and Maya ends up killing you," Smackle informs him.
"Oh, not nice," he quiets.
Antonio assigns the rest of the cast and announces who got stuck making the props. Maya would have been upset she wasn't assigned the task of painting if she had been awake. To get to know their characters a little better and Harper would be reading the Iliad to them in class.