I wake up to my usual day: an endless game where I play as this cute, funny, dazzling girl named Rin Kagamine. She has a lot of friends and has a twin brother whom she is very close with. Her parents think of her as perfect, her friends think as amazing, boys and girls want to date her, but she turns them down. Why? Maybe because she has a crush on someone else. No, the look in her eyes tells them other wise. They are sad and longing. Maybe she is waiting for someone. Maybe she was rejected by her most loved. Oh, that's me. I already know what the problem is. I've lived as that girl forever. People like me because I'm cute, funny, nice, but what they don't know is that I slit my wrists for the one I love; for the one's love I cannot achieve. He'd never love someone as me, but he already does. Not in my way though; not in the way he intends. Not the way that would ever happen. I'll probably end up with someone I don't like. Yeah, that's most likely. 'Life is money' as my parents always say, but they are always away. Always at the time I don't wish them to, never at the times I wish them to. Besides, I'm just a girl with no heart. I wish to spit upon others and hoard all I want, mostly my beloved, but I know that is wrong and decline satan's offer. I just wish to be happy, but happy I will never be. Bottling things up is no good for the human soul. It's a good thing I don't have a soul. Wait, I'm not a ginger! Gingers have souls though... It's just a stereotype. I'm the one who doesn't have a soul! I play like I'm God, even though I know I'm not. God would never fall in forbidden love. God would never slit his wrist, well... God would never betray family. God wouldn't do anything I would do, or think what I would think. Me and God are opposites. Now satan... We have some pretty good ties...

Beeeep beeeep beeeep

How long have I been looking at my vain self in the mirror? Checking my alarm clock, ten minutes.

Beeeep beeeep beeeep

I hate that noise. It's loud and obnoxious. It drives me insane. I turned it off. I combed my hair and tie them in twin braids, like always. I cake my face in make-up and add colorful spunk to my hair. I put my school uniform on and grab my bag. Another day, another dollar, am I right? I go down the stairs and see my brother eating toast. Time to be Rin... I stick my own toast in the toaster and smile at him as he smiles at me. Unlike me, his smile is real and official.

"Did you sleep well?" I ask as I watch the toaster and pray for them to go faster. Pray to who, though? Satan? Jesus? I don't know!

He nodded. "Always!" He chimes with his deep yet adolescent voice. "Did you?" He asked as he took a bite out of his toast. He put marmalade on it, I noticed. He usually puts marmalade on food when he is upset.

I nodded. "You know it!" I lied. I actually don't sleep at night. I just can't! I sleep during class and lunch, yet I have perfect grades.

"Great!" He says happily. My toast is done. Great timing! Right when the conversation is over you decide to pop! Bitch toast...

I grab the toast and spread strawberry jelly on them and walk over to the table and take my seat. I munch on my toast and drink my juice as my brother reads the newspaper. Probably sports, since he plays a lot of them. After I am done, I take my plate to the sink and decide to investigate. "So..." I begin. So far so good. "Are you upset about something?" I ask. So far so good.

He sighs. "How could you tell?" He asks. So far so good.

I turn to him and smirk at him. "Marmalade," I answer bluntly.

He hides his face in his hands. Was it not obvious? I know everything about my twin! Heck, I know how he sleeps at night! Er, not that I watch him.

"I don't want to talk about it..." He sighs and gets up. He grabs his bag and slips his shoes on. I do the same.

"You should know I know everything about you, Len," I say with a smile. He laughs and pats my head. Hey! I'm not a little kid! Get that through your fluffy head and thick scull!

"I know, dork," he says and heads out. I follow him. It's not that I'm a stalker, it's that we go to the same school and that we do pretty much everything together. I can't say everything because there is some activities that he wouldn't do with me, such as kissing and sex. I, honestly, wouldn't mind. In fact, I would want to do those things to him more than anything in the world! Er... I guess it's kind of obvious now...

School! Finally! I hate walking to school just as much as the next guy. My brother, loves it. That's why we are almost opposites... He hides nothing, I hide everything. As soon as we get to school, our friends mob us. My friend, Miku, and his friend, Piko, bother talk our ears off at the same time. Miku is my best friend, thick and thin, she knows a lot about Rin. Notice how I didn't say me. Yeah, she knows nothing about me...

I feel a sudden pang in my arm. It's just probably just my cuts that are hurting.

When school finally walks it's way into the classroom and I drift into slumber and get the lesson through that. See? I can learn! I just learn in different ways! We are learning Japanese history today. Yay! Woo-hoo! Not really... I honestly don't give a crap about social studies. Yada, yada, dead people, dead people! I just can't wait until lunch. Actually, I can. That's when I'll be mobbed my the people I despise the most.

Ring ring ring

Speaking of which. I instantly get up and have my lunch. I want to escape the grasps of all the girls who hold me down and force me to sit by my brother, but I was unsuccessful. "Hey, Rin!" Says voice that is sour to my ears.

I turn around and cringe at her blonde pony-tail. "Hi, Neru!" I reply with a smile. Fake obviously.

"We should sit together! Since I'm dating your brother and all..." She tells me as her arm finds its way to my shoulder.

Fuck no! I think.

"Aw yeah!" I reply with the biggest grin in the world.

"Great!" She says and we are on our way to the cafeteria. At some point, I don't know when, on our way to the cafeteria, Miku finds her way to my side and babbles about her endless kendo meets.

At the cafeteria, I am forced to sit by Len and the never ending talking Miku. Len had his arm sling over Neru's shoulder as Neru is cuddled up to him and twisting a string of her hair while Len feeds her food that I packed him for him. I tend to wonder my gaze to Len and Neru as Miku talks and every now and then Miku would snap my attention back to her.

"Do have anything to eat?" I hear Miku say as I stare at Neru and her ditzy blonde-ness-that anyone could tell was fake, by the way.

I look back at Miku. "I'm on a diet," I lie. Miku gives me a look like yeah right! "Um, it just slipped my mind this morning," I lie again. It didn't slip my mind. I always pack my lunch the earlier day.

Miku nods. "Fine, you get two lie points taken away! That's five more you can use..." Miku says while she shakes her head angrily.

I glance back at my brother while tuning out of Miku's pointless blabbering. He looks at me too and I just look away like I wasn't being a creepy stalker. Which I am, I guess. As much as a creepy stalker can be to their twin... I decide to tune into Miku's conversation because what else was there to do? Talk to Len? Yeah right! Did you forget Neru is there? She'll laugh at me if I say something stupid or stutter! And it would be pretty obvious if I did talk. Zoned out me equals real me and real me equals fake me and fake me minus fake me then added to real me incest mess that no one likes. Common core, everyone.

Ring ring ring

Thank god (satan?)! That that happened! I couldn't stand another second sitting next to my brother! You could have just thrown me in the ocean and let sharks eat me! Even worse, throw me into polluted parts of the ocean and let sharks eat me! Or have small fish feast off of my body.

I get up out of my seat and rush toward that ever so good feeling classroom, with no Len. Len isn't in any of my classes. I'm in all top, he is just one bellow me. I'm ,literally, the smartest kid in my grade! Not to be vain, but I am! I get one hundreds on every single test without studying and without paying attention to the lesson. It's weird once you think about it.

I'm sitting in my oh so comfortable seat now! And as soon as the teacher steps into the class, I snooze. Being in the back of the classrooms has some benefits, you know?

School is over. Time for more hell. Would it be lell since its Len hell? Probably not, but it would be funny if that was a legit thing that existed. 'Welcome to Lell! Population: two. The king, Len, and a peasant who is for an eternity stuck in here, Rin.' That would be amazing...

I'm walking out of the school and rushing so no one can stop me. Len probably had soccer and Miku probably had kendo though so I shouldn't have been in much of a rush. Oh so you'd think. I'm in a rush so I can go home and cut myself, as painful as it sounds. I'm going to cut myself so much that you could read lell in my skin. Sounds terrifying, I know, but it's the only remedy I could think up of at this moment, or any moment. When I arrived home, though, my parents were in the drive way looking around. "Where's Len?" My mother asks.

Good to see you too after, what? Three months?

"I don't know, soccer?" I reply. My mother sighs and gets in her black, sleek truck and drives away. "'Nice talk mom.' 'You too, honey! See you again.' 'Fuck you.'"

I walk into the house and go up to my room where I lay over my bloodstained bathtub. I pull out my little sculpting knife I keep in the little space between the tub and curtain. I lift my sleeve up to my shoulder to reveal my scarred arm. I carefully press the blade onto my skin and write the letter 'L'. A slight pang of pain spread through my body. I mark the 'E' in my skin. Another nerve signal fled to my brain. I imprinted two more 'L's into my skin. I feel the hot blood trickle round my arm. I grab a piece of toilet paper and moisten it under the sink and lay it across my markings.

"Perfect," I say on a quiet voice. I pull the paper up every once and a while to see my imprints. After a while, they have scabs and I leave them as they are and throw the paper away. I climb into my pajamas and sleep for the night after taking a shower and eating a protein bar.

Can't wait until tomorrow! Oh wait, I can! Because I hate my life!

I am garbage, I am trash. All I can do is slash...