Unfash: Hello! I've been wanting to write a TMM fanfic for a while, so here we go! Flamers will be beaten with a stick, but constructive criticism is welcome. R&R!
Part of me always knew. Even when our "fearless fighters" returned with enough Mew Aqua to revive our planet, I knew there was something wrong. I knew it couldn't last.
Now, four years later, I was proved right. The Mew Aqua is wearing off, the plants are dying, the temperature is dropping, the wind getting stronger. Slowly, but surely, our planet is becoming uninhabitable. Again.
We have to fight again, but this time we win it. This time we will get earth, because now Kish, Tart, and Pai are older. They're not the kids they used to be the first time. And plus, they are recruiting a new person to fight with them. They're holding auditions for the new fighter now, and I'm sitting in this metal folding chair, in a room with a bunch of other people, holding my application paper that I filled out, waiting.
And waiting sucks.
There were people sitting near me who look like they couldn't take my grandmother in a fight. Especially the manorexic guy standing near me with the incredibly visible ribcage. I could knock him over by gently poking him in his bony spine. His thin arms looked barely able to lift a spoon, let alone a weapon. Unless he had some sort of incredible weapon, I doubted he would be very helpful in a fight.
"67. " They called my number over the loudspeaker, finally. I had been waiting for what seemed like hours.
I walked into a room with a long table, at which Kish, Tart, Pai, and a woman I did not recognize were seated. Other people were standing in places in the room as well, probably just there to make sure I didn't do anything crazy.
"Name," Kish said, sounding bored.
"Vinegar Mie, at your service," I grinned.
"Okay, let's get this over with," Pai said, scanning his paper. "Let's see... Alright, we're going to give you a test enemy. Show us your fighting skills. And go." At that, I kid you not, a ninja popped out from behind the table and lunged at me.
I laughed, easily dodging his attack. I called out my weapon, which is like a long staff with sort of a glowing green ball at the top. When I swing it, green fire trails out of it, and when the fire touches you, it sends electric pulses through your body, which is extremely painful. I know this from experience mastering the use of this weapon. It's pretty fantastic when you know how to use it, though, and I am fortunate to have been born with it.
The ninja drew out a long sword and headed toward me. I didn't move, not out of fear, but out of not needing to. I slashed my staff at the ninja and the green fire brushed against is face. He screamed and fell to the ground, electricity flowing painfully through his veins. I whacked him over the head with my staff and he fell unconscious.
"Wow," Kish said, impressed. "That was pretty cool." One of the people standing in the room dragged the now unconscious ninja away. Oh, that's what they were there for: Ninja dragging.
"Your ninja just sucks," I mumbled.
Pai was reading over my application. "Impressive..." he mumbled.
"Hey," I said, pointing to the woman. "Who are you?"
"Oh," she said, smiling. "I'm Tart's mom! I just wanted to make sure they picked the right person. I never really trusted little Tart's decision making skills."
"Mom!"" Tart, who had been quiet until now, cried, exasperated.
"Well, honey, it's true," she said. "Remember the time you wanted to shave your darling little head? Remember how I had to talk you out of that?"
"Mom! Stop it! This is in no way similar to a hairstyle decision!" Tart said, putting his face in his hands in embarrassment.
"Moving on," Kish said in an annoyed tone. "Tell me your strategy plan, Vinegar."
"I've got it right here," Pai said, motioning to my application.
"No, I want to hear it from her," Kish said.
"Sure," I said. "You remember, of course, the approach you took on world takeover last time?"
"How could we forget?" Kish laughed softly, a distant look in his eye. I like saying things that made people remember their past, whether it made them uncomfortable or nostalgic. People need to remember. If you try to forget the past you can never fix your mistakes or make yourself better.
"I think we need to take a different approach. We don't need to kill the humans-"
"Isn't killing the humans the point?" Tart interrupted.
"Well, that didn't work so well for you last time, now did it? Killing the humans is unnecessary. We don't need to overpower them, we need to humble ourselves before them," I said.
"That sounds like the opposite of what we need to do," Kish smirked. I knew my plan sounded crazy at first. I knew I sounded stupid. I also knew it would work.
"We need to gain their trust. We come to them not as enemies, but as friends. Show them technology their tiny brains don't have the ability to invent themselves. Wow them. Be nothing but nice to them. And then, once they're wrapped around our fingers, we offer them luxury vacations on our beautiful planet."
"It won't be beautiful for long," Pai said forlornly. "We only have about two months left before everything dies."
"It won't take two months. In one, we'll have them sent off in ships to our planet, supposedly for vacation. But they never come back. We leave them all here, and we get the earth. No killing, no war. It's simple," I smiled.
"It can't be that simple. There are too many technicalities," Pai said.
"All of which can be worked out. It's a good plan, though, you have to agree," I said.
"You know, I think this could work," Tart said. Kish thought about it for a minute, then nodded.
"Well, I really like you, Vinegar. I like this plan. And even if it doesn't work, that weapon of yours will surely be useful. I think we should go with her, boys," Tart's mom said, smiling broadly at me.
Pai nodded slowly. "Yes, yes... I agree."
"So, it's decided," Kish said. "Welcome, Vinegar. You're now a part of our team."