"What?" I asked Felicity incredulously, I just couldn't believe what she was saying.
"You've heard me quite alright, Oliver" was her only reply "Don't act like a fool".
"I am not the one acting like a fool!"I exclaimed in a rush of anger, which I controlled with deep breaths and five years of training stuck in a damn island "You are the one saying things that aren't truth, just to find a silly excuse to break up with me" I accused her, feeling betrayed but not showing it.
It was my thing, not showing how I really felt to anyone but... No! That can't be truth, I thought a bit scared but never going to admit it.
"Oliver..." she sighed exasperated, as if she was expecting me to act like a stupid.
That only angered me even more. However, I didn't take it off with her because I was expecting it. I didn't deserve to be happy like that, no matter how much Thea and Barry say otherwise. I did horrible things and now I was paying for them, with only having my sister to love me... and even she isn't trusting me much nowadays.
But what else should I have expected? I thought tiredly. I haven't done anything but lie her since I came back. Also, her life had been turned upside down this last years. I sighed inwardly. I just thought that Felicity would be better than to lie to me when she wanted things to be over. That's all I wanted honesty... just like Barry gives me all the time. Stop it Queen! You aren't in love with him!
"What is it so difficult to believe Oliver?" she asked with a kind, sad and assessing smile. How she managed that is something I would never know "That you fell in love with a man? Or that someone was finally able to love you with all your faults? Because let's be honest I think that from everyone that knows you Barry is the one that truly does know you. Surely before the stupid lighting hit him..."
I winced at the memory of it. I never admitted it out loud but I was worried sick for him when I discovered about his accident. I even payed for his hospitalization and visited him a few times between my work as Green Arrow.
"... and he came to Starlight city faking having allowance from Central city's police force, he made a complete check up of Oliver Queen, Green Arrow and Queen's consolidation" Felicity continued speaking not noticing my reaction, or just simply ignoring it. Which I didn't want to believe in because I think she is better than that kind of kid's play "As well as he might have made a psychological test about why Green Arrow did what he did, and must have connected all the dots about those blank spaces about you that you leave us with. He is that intelligent" I chuckled at her comment "See?" she suddenly said, as if my chuckle was the answer to this dilemma.
"What?" I asked confused.
"You are never like this Oliver" she said with a tired sigh "You are always at the defense of an attack. However, when you are with Barry you smile, joke, tease, play and relax around him. You laugh with him Oliver!" she stressed.
"I laugh with you too!" I protested.
"But not like with Barry!" she snapped at me "You opened up to him fast, I've never seen you take in anyone with that speed before. He understands you, I get that... but it is something else. Something that I didn't want to admit to myself" she paused and looked at me with a resigned gaze, one that made my heart ache. I didn't want to be again the kind of guy that ends up breaking women's heart "He loves you".
"You love me too" I protested weakly, shaking my head in negation.
I refused to accept what she was telling me. Fear, a little voice at the back of my head murmured. And as much as I hated it, I knew it was right.
"Damn it Oliver! I am trying to do this easily, why do you have to always make it so difficult?!" she told me angrily. Not raising her voice... she never raises her voice, which only makes it worse "He loves you" she put a lot of stress on 'you' "Every part of you. He idolized the old you Oliver, since the beginning he supported you and rooted for Hood. Even when Dick and me didn't trusted one hundred percent your techniques, Barry did. He accepted all of you, faults and goods. He looks up at you, you are his model to follow... but one day that changed and his feelings went deeper. If that was possible" she chuckled humorless at the last phrase "His idol became the object of his affection, romantic affection" she specified "And you are afraid Oliver. Scared that your feelings for him run way deeper than any love you held for anyone before" she stated with challenge clear in her eyes "You fear that you'll end up hurting that nice, innocent, pure and young boy that holds you high in a pedestal and looks at you with so much devotion" a few tears rolled down her cheeks.
I stepped forwards to comfort her but she raised a hand to stop me. I did as she desired, it was the last thing I owed her for hurting her so much.
"You forgot about one factor in you love equation, Felicity" I told her with a strained voice, not liking what I was about to say at all "Barry is in love with Iris" I hated how weak and pathetic I sounded when I said that. However, it was replaced with indignation when my girl... ex-girlfriend laughed at me "What is so funny?!" I demanded to know, hurt by her attitude.
"What's funny is that you are such a maroon!" she exclaimed between chuckles "Barry acted just like you did. He didn't notice what his true feeling for you were and once he did he downed himself into what he already knew: Iris" she explained "Also, he preferred being turned down gentle and knowing that he will keep her friendship, rather than having his heart broken by you and losing your friendship".
"I would never..." she cut me off.
"Tell him that, not me. Now go Oliver, and get your man tiger" she blushed as only Felicity does and began babbling cutely "I... not tiger... well...".
"Just leave it Felicity" I chuckled amused by her behavior "I'll go and talk to Barry" I turned to leave but stopped once I reached the door and turned around to look at her "Thank you" I said with a soft tone and left the bunker.
I took my motorcycle and rushed towards Central city. It was a long ride but got me enough time to think about what I was going to say, or better how I was going to confess. However, it also gave me a lot of time for my fear to emerge and play me bad. Before I even knew it, I was in front of Barry's apartment and had knocked on the door.
I really need to pay for a new apartment for him, in a way better area than this one. I commented in my head as I waited for him to open the door. I was surprised that he didn't use his super speed, but happy that he was being responsible about his powers.
"Oliver..." Barry said surprised once he had opened the door. He stood there, looking completely adorable in his batman pajamas, bed messy brown mop of hair and his big doe cute eyes, looking at me so innocently confused "What are you doing here? Did something happen? Are everyone ok?...".
"Everything is alright and everyone is fine" I cut his worried rant off "I'm here for... for another reasons" I confessed and swallowed. Suddenly all my nervousness came back at once "Barry... I...".
"Oliver, are you ok?" he asked me concerned. He stepped towards me, with a gaze holding so much comfort and love for me that I just couldn't believe I was able to live without it before.
"Felicity broke up with me" I said at once.
"Ahm..." he just said, shocked at my confession. I noticed that a glint of happiness glimmered in his eyes, a glint that made me hope that maybe Felicity was right. But then it disappeared and was replaced by guilt and concern "What? Why?" he asked me totally lost "You were the perfect couple and loved each other so much!".
"No, we weren't and we didn't" I replied "She broke it off because she knew".
"Knew what?" Barry asked, continuing being confused.
"This" I just replied, attacking his lips with mine. For a second I, when he just stood frozen in his place, I feared that I had overstepped my boundaries. However, he soon began kissing me back. We only broke it off when we needed air. I looked down into his eyes, getting lost in his lovely green eyes and confessed in a soft tone "I love you, Barry".
He sagged relieved and almost collapsed against me, but I was fast and held him tight by the waist. He then threw his head backwards and laughed, a true laugh from the bottom of his heart. A laugh that I was proud of being able to cause.
"I love you too, Oliver" he confessed to me, to then peck me on the lips and drag me inside his apartment.
Let's just say that I didn't make it back to Starlight city that night...