Emma-rexia

This takes place in Season 5 of Degrassi: TNG about Emma's eating disorder storyline. Some of these events happened in the show and others I made up.

POV: Emma Nelson

Chapter 1

It all started when Manny complained that she couldn't fit into her favorite jeans. I had gained at least 15 pounds since starting high school. We decided to go on a diet. At first, we would eat only fruits and vegetables and run every day after school. Manny was happy after we each lost 5 pounds but I wasn't satisfied yet. I wanted to lose another 5 so I would throw up after dinner and run during lunch instead of eating lunch with Manny. I would hide food in my pockets while on dates with Peter and my mom noticed my hair falling out when she was brushing my hair. She and Snake were worried about me so they asked Manny and Peter if I was okay. Neither of them had figured out I was still dieting.

I knew I had to be more careful so no one would know how much I'm eating. I limit myself to eating 300 calories a day and running at least 3 miles a day. I love this feeling of being in control. I've lost 20 pounds in the past 2 months. Today I woke up and weighed 120. That's 5 pounds less than Manny weighs but she's also a couple inches shorter than me. When I borrow her clothes now they're loose on me and it feels amazing.

Since I want to lose 10 more pounds to get to my goal weight, I went on a run this morning at 7. Snake and mom went out for dinner last night so I haven't eaten since lunch yesterday. I felt a little dizzy when I got home from my run at around 8 so I ate an apple and took a shower. Manny was still asleep when I came out of the bathroom. She groaned and said "Emmaaa it's not even 9 yet, what are you doing up?" She usually doesn't wake up until 10 during the summer. Which is perfect because then she doesn't know I've been going on runs. If anyone knew they'd try and stop me. I don't get why everyone wants me to stop running and eat more at dinner, I feel great. I walked over to my dresser and picked out jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. I was about to get dressed when Manny said "Emma it's like 80 degrees today why are you wearing that?" I answered "Oh I'm just a little cold I slept in shorts and a tank top and I think my mom turned on the AC last night". Manny seemed confused still but I went to get changed so she wouldn't see me. I'm so fat I hate looking in the mirror and I definitely don't want anyone else to see my body.

Peter invited me to a movie today at 12 so I watched TV until he picked me up. I noticed him looking over at me during the car ride to the movie theater. He eventually asked "Are you cold Emma?" I shook my head immediately and said "No, I just didn't have any clean t-shirts to wear" He nodded and kept driving. A few minutes later we got to the theater and he asked me if I wanted a snack or drink. I answered "No I had lunch already but I'll have a water bottle" He said okay and got a popcorn for himself and a water for me.

We took our seats and said "You can have some of my popcorn if you want" I said "thanks" and the movie started.

When the movie ended he took my hand as we walked out. He looked at me right away and said "Em, your hand is freezing, are you okay?" Crap. I had to think of something fast that he would believe. "Um.. yeah I'm fine it was just really cold in there" hoping he wouldn't ask any more questions. He drove me home and said he would call me later.

Manny was sitting in the living room when I got back and she said "I made you a sandwich" I told her I ate popcorn during the movie so I wasn't hungry. She asked me how the movie was and I said good. A couple hours later we were still watching TV and my mom walked in and said Snake was taking the family out to dinner. Manny got excited, while I was panicking. I had been doing so well and I couldn't mess everything up. I went to my room and pulled out my diet journal.

July 18, 2006

today's weight: 120.0

ran 5 miles: burned 474 calories

ate 1 apple: 95 calories

So had 379 calories left to eat that day. I looked up the restaurant's menu on my phone. All of the entrees were over 500 calories! I looked at the kids menu and the best option was the mac and cheese, 300 calories. I planned that would order water and then I got ready for dinner. I put on a dress that my mom got me for my 17th birthday last month. I looked in the mirror and cringed. My arms looked huge and my collarbone wasn't even visible. I sighed and sucked in my stomach. The dress was a little loose around my hips because it was a size 2 and lately ive been wearing size 0. Manny came in and told me we were about to leave. She looked worried for some reason. Did I look that bad?

Snake, Manny, Jack, my mom and I got to the restaurant and my parents ordered nachos as an appetizer. I didn't eat any and just drank my water. Manny got a burger, my parents both got got steak and Jack was eating chicken fingers. Even their drinks were unhealthy! Do they know how many calories soda has? Looking at all of their food was making me feel sick. I poked around at my mac and cheese and my mom said "Emma is everything okay? You've barely eaten any of your food" and Manny and Jack both looked over at me. I quickly said "Uhh yeah I'm fine, this is just really cheesy its making me feel kind of nauseous."

That excuse luckily got me out of eating the rest of my meal, so my parents asked the waiter for a box to take it home. Mom and Manny and I all went to the bathroom before we left.

"Crap, I just got my period. Do either of you have a pad or tampon?" My mom asked me and Manny. "No, sorry my period ended a few days ago I don't have anything with me" Manny replied. "Em?" my mom questioned.

I realized I hadn't gotten my period this month. "Nope, I had mine a couple weeks ago so I should be getting it soon."

This made Manny ask "Wait Emma we had our period at the same time a couple months ago, that means yours is late?" "I don't know Manny yeah I guess, its whatever."

"Okay, no need to get all defensive honey" Mom jumped in.

"Sorry, its just not a big deal." I said. When I got home I added to my journal:

mac and cheese: 300 calories

total: ate 395 (474 burned = -79)